This hotel room sucks!
I''m stuck in here from the snow!
I''M FREAKING OUT MAN!!!

Sitting in my Room
I come up with this weird shit.
That''s prison for ya!

My dog sleeps a lot
Why, then does he eat so much?
Dreaming is hard work!

This Haiku sucks bad
maybe thats why they call it
Bad Haiku , Dot Com???

I like to watch a
cool cartoon named pokemon
it makes me happy

Maybe Im too Old?
I''m only 69 you know
thats not too old, right??

Though try as i might,
There is no way i can make
Wu-Tang lyrics fit

in another life
i snorted some number two
it made me quite sick

with such shallow minds
they accentuate the crass
in bureaucracy

Left Turn, Yield and Stop
I ignore all of those signs
That''s why I''m in jail

A five dollar bill
Thats How much I''ll pay for your
Precious Psycho Cat

watch out on the can
she hangs out in the bathroom
who? psycho kitty

She acts a little
odd, I love her just the same
my psycho kitty

none of the other
kitties will play with her, my
poor psycho kitty

she''s a little off
and attacks things that aren''t there
dumb psycho kitty

she reall

AHHH! Miss Lewinski
Spokesperson for Jenny Craig?
I''d rather be fat

Dew drops on flowers,
A slight whisper from a child,
Hot sex with a corpse.

I read English Lit.
And yet I can''t tell the diff
Between this and it.

My nipples are sore
From your teeth biting on them
I want to thank you!

Munching sweet clover
Til the bloody dog found him
I miss Good Bunny

Hey you there! Basho!
Easy on plagiarism...
It has its pluses

*i heard a haiku*
do you get off on sneezing?
Ah, innuendo.

greetings m''lady
come inside i won''t bite you
unless you want that

There is something wrong
Still with those apostrophes
Coming up double

Hey there''s nothing wrong
With Kim, Bob, and Pussy Cat
Toking on some ganjj

Hey there''s nothing wrong
With Kim, Bob, and Pussy Cat
Toking on some ganjj

Argh! Those cross-browser
formatting issues always
surprise me. Alas,

my html
was as poorly formatted
as my poetry.

This text is far too big to
deserve to be up
on this nicely designed site.

a sumu breaks wind
it smells like teriyaki
one hot towel to go

plagiarism sucks
originality rules
win a free mouse pad

a collision course
two jehovas in the night
an ambulance howls

buried time capsule
in one thousand years they''ll find
dirty polaroids

bold new marketing
i whisper product slogans
to dying humans

Condemned to a life
Of ceaseless toilet bobbing.
So: Fuck the cistern!

I deeply regret
regretting.When you jog through
raspberries you bleed.

A real yen for you
my darling Tokyo Rose
won''t ya please shut up?

Kat and I are friends.
Bob Dylan kicks ass, and you
misunderstand us.

Nine years old. I scream.
Mother says, "It''s okay, dear"
But I know it''s not.

Yesterday I saw
Bob Dylan, Kat Krotch and Kim
Toking on some ganjj

There''s nervous tension
Just after we fuck madly
And I think of home

New Year. The World turns.
I wonder how it happens.
Chinese Army farts?

Pull the stick out of
your ass, and I`ll shut up. Why
don''t you try it once?

You insensitive
bastard, why am I still your
friend? You disturb me.

Savagely ravished
by dreams that leave me sweating
with passionate hope.

Movie on World War
Two: we "delivered" bombs to
Germany. We Did?

Kimberly, you need
to lighten up just a bit.
You''re depressing me.

Leather restraints on
wrists and ankles. Hold me down
and paddle my ass.

I will close my eyes
and make a conscious effort
not to open them.

I will count to ten.
Ready or not, here I am.
I am not ready.

I will thrust a knife
deep into the center of
all that is painful.

Will someone miss me

How to start: should I
cut off my ear, following
the greatest artist?

Should I marvel at
my imperfect fit within
the laws of this age?

global warming, nay
tis just my tropic zone shift-
ing right off the chart.

We are all LLamas
Frozen in our green oneness
we will rule the world

pareme is Greek
for ''take me'', but your brain
reminds of moussaka.

life oh so precious
cannot think of enough ways
of how to waste it