Spring a little late
breathless makes up for lost time
blooming all at once

lovely crocuses
finally blooming long last
peering up from snow

Boy George, His penis in my ass,
Lunch time in prison,
This is my life of gayness.

how do i love thee,
tortilla chips and salsa?
let me count the ways.

Givin Richard Gere a Blow Job,
Hampsters, Gerbils, Ball Peen..
It's all good..

Spring is in my step
graceful flowing in and out
tendrils flowing green

went to MickeyD's
wanted cookies, got Choco-
Crap! Where's my Grimace?

what the balls was that?
bad haiku rules internet
must have haiku fix

Charlie Brown and Lucy,
Feelin' Kinda Juicy,
Kicking it with the homies...

Charlie Brown and Lucy,
Feelin' Kinda Juicy,
Kicking it with the homies...

There once was a man, who, one day
Tried to make bad haiku go away
But his plan it fell through
When people tried to do
Some more bad haiku anyway

April 1's over -
Now it's April 2, they say -
Give us the site back

Hope you will receive
twenty eight thousand haikus
straight on your dumb head

Do you really think
you can stop our bad haiku?
Janis will fight back!

It seems a bad guy
pirated a fine web site.
Give us Janis back!!!

There once was a monkey called Phil
Who would always be rigidly still
He had a big nose
And seventeen toes
He shouted out "Whoop! Whoop!" at will

K is so cleaver
He can look up own arshole
Still not see brains

Furtive strangers commune
Two desires yearning for a tryst
Each longing for love

Bad haiku site blocked
I had to sneak round the back
Can send but not view

Well...I did say that
this might happen..it is quite
easy to hack here

Scrape the cheese off your balls,
And put it on my sammich,
Yummy...its lunch!

I am Richard Larson,
I want sweaty balls in my mouth,
Teabag me now, bitch!

Sheena is probably basically
selfish and if I blew my brains out
over her criticism
wouldn't care but probably if
a friend of hers killed themselves
she'd dig through their wallet first
due to the nature of her probable
selfishness

as to the total elimination
of junk haiku, junk bonds
still exist in the form of movies

isn't sheena that woman
that runs around naked in
the jungle with george?

well, some lesbians do have
a hard time accepting the
fact two genders exists

(this has been edited )

Is she offended
by blatant misogyny
well, fuck her, that feminist nazi
bitch, she can go take her weepy
victimization and go watch some
Oprah and read some Toni Morrison
cause I'm not changing.

An eye for an eye is just.
Therefore a summary slaughter
of the family of one of our Bible
Belt, corn fed marines would be
highly justified. After all, we're
the one's instigating the eye poking
here. So the Iraqis should not be
held accountable, nor any terrorist,
for returning the favor.

Martin Amis blows
almost as much as Kingsley
who's, thankfully, dead

you better be on
some serious heavy shit
as your weak excuse

shocking amazing
how little you use your brain
disintegrating

(and I don't think you're a bad person, just a "sinner" better off, than say many a self righteous, prick...oh!)

(and I still like Vonnegut...)

oh, God said, "just pull the shade"

I don't know
right now whether I can
be rational or not right now

what would it be like
if some invading army
killed that soldier's family?

And God said "Let there be light."
And I said "Motherfucker! I'm
trying to get some sleep."

Larson's haikus on the other hand
Brilliantly ineffectual, they're like
a succession of Insurance
commercials, you suffer through
them while waiting for the real writers and shows to come back on.

S Frustrated groans
"now the banana... push deep"
Robot lover smirks

I hate Bukowski, Ham on Rye
blows, just self indulgent crap.
I write better sentences then
Bukowksi. I'd say I'm more like
a Martin Amis.

S Frustrated dreams
of landing on the moon and
Tongue kissing John Glenn

My head hurts. Need nap.
Bored out of my mind, but wait...
uterus hurts too.

S Frustrated writes
While eating many cupcakes
Fudgey Fingered Keys!

S Frustrated thinks
he is Bukowski, well buk's
Ded and S.F stinks

Man, I love to fuck
Donkeys and smear hot mustard
On my fat belly

Thief of the printed page, ha ha
I will steal everything you write,
And call it my own. (I am the
thief of the thief of the printed page stealing everything you write
and call it my own) this is called
a strange loop or recursion.

What sensual, emotive crap
Typical of the female form.
Hasn't been a good woman poet
since Emily Dickinson.

The monkey steals too
It is a bad monkey so I
Poke it with a stick

Thief of the printed page...haha
I will steal everything you write,
And call it my own..hahahaaaa!!

hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa
I steal and plagerize everything!!
I am god-like!! hahahaaaaaaa