Simple green apples
Teasing temptress hangs sublime
Kissed by tender breeze

Messy house empties
Partygoer leaves fumbling
Vows do it again

Unwanted embrace
Dancing pulsating laughing
Intoxicated

Insidious wine
Satyrs wishing deceptions
Admonishing fools

Goatherds chill valley
Wandering river lingers
Slowed by deep constraints

Incessant babble
Boasting drunk reconsiders
Feigns sobriety

Tourist police race
Hastening beggar squeals
No more jail for me

My ass, your big hands
Kneeding pimpled flesh with joy
This must never be!!!!

I keep forgetting
Must put name in Hiaku
I am so stupid

Hiakus in jest
Loves friends so, but they must know
Hours of sitting, BAD

I could have slept in
Or stayed with girl, done wild thing
Go to game? But why?

Ready to bash heads
Cant, accupunture man busy
Thomas the Troll sad

Very nice house Bret has
Large deck, lots of room, good home
Toilet water high!

Its noon, booze it up
Help me make my character
Not booze, so called GM!

Accupuncture man
You will fear his great power
Armored neck silly?

Warm day in mid march
With friends, ready to play game
No game? What the fuck!?

The foolish cleaners
Put everyone's stuff into
A single black bag

Eventually, yes
They would produce all Shakespeare
But in the first week
They'd probably write
Modern british 'comedy'
Or something better

back from the bayou,
lovin' the company here,
new home sweet new home.

it's just too damn slow
i want a new computer
and i will have one

Accept the message
Let it penetrate your soul
Deep down within you

Remove your clothes, child
And let the holy father
Cleanse you of your sin

Querulous Plough horse
Chafes, admonishing dark earth
Jutting moaning plough

Ok understood
But for now I

Just gotta feel it
This is bad haiku anyway
Don't try so damn hard.

Head for five dollars
Sorry ho I don't do tricks
I gets mine for free

Not sure I can do
Too new at this Haiku lark
Show me what you mean

One too many
What a damn mess I've made here
Negligence is mine.

Buttered up them thighs
Open wide lonely housewife
Therapy's in session.

No value statements
Haiku must cut like a blade
Drop the dualism

Too much abstraction
Use words of the everyday
No philosophy.

Frowning scarecrow laughs
Enraptured hungry black crows
Take the farmers dance

Conjunctions don't work
Keep them to a minimum
Kill self consciousness

Steer clear of gerunds
Turn haiku into big mess
Always here and now

Modifiers suck
Makes for clumsy jumbly prose
Must be crisp and clean

Peasant

Oh toilet scrub brush
Let the Lord's song be with thee
Wash it all away.

Greasy icy rocks
Boasting dirty oceans crash
Earths waste putrefies

The problem I see here
Bad haikus trying to be good
They fail miserably.

Solitary path
A songbird shatters stillness
Lame Buda stumbles

Deliverymen smirks
Bridegrooms supplicate disturbed
Caught with his pants down

Infinite number
Of monkeys with infinite
Number typewriters
.
Was said of Shakespeare
Tempting, but my stuffs poor crap
No Shakespeare am I

Best not touch my beer
Or my sausages or I'll
Get CCTV

I came home to cook
As I have much work to do
But all! All my pans!!

The bloody cleaners
First they move my stuff around
And now it's not there

Infinite number
Of monkeys with infinite
Number computers
That is what I think
Nippress has working for him
Oh his haiku farm

Flashing coal dark eyes
Lips of strawberry murmurs
Loves hot desires

High mountain rescue
In case you didn

Phantom gatekeeper
Gloating snowy carnivore
Norfolk

Names to strike terror
Ascent imagination
Shrieking devils quake