Puppy waits for maestro
to bring any kind of class
to badhaiku

Fear me, the Battle Puppy
Boundless is my naked wrath
All shards, plaster, shit

Poorly trained, this pup
Battlepuppy very bad
Pees on fresh cornflakes

immense voltage drop
across conductive organs
required to shock me

the hammer shall drop
upon canine cranium
"Down, Battlepuppy!"

I'm feeling stupid
get me some coffee, damnit
or perhaps cornflakes

stupid people say
here, make me copies of this
and get me coffee

stupid people pee
in your cornflakes or oatmeal
they sure are bastards

initial dram: noon
courting imbecility
awash in spirits

i'm just about there
people are pissing me off
stupid people suck!

words that make you cringe
like "quivering" or "polyps"
as pop tart flavors

will you stand before
the fury of his armies?
his naked buttocks?

thus descends the god
battle puppy in bad verse
with a gay uncle

Point at everyone else
For THEY are the true problems
Naw, couldn't be you.

Poor me, says bachelor
No one is good enough
But wait... he's an ass.

Fat, androgynous
Balding, glasses on smug nose
Wit, yes, but looks... no.

Girls run screaming
After a single one-nighter
Musta been with Ed

Sits on a man-pole
Has to get it from somewhere
Girls always run

I go way too far?
I have much farther to go
Ain't seen nothin yet.

Smelly man-juice hits
like a wet, breadless sandwich
Right on Ed's forehead.

Hung like a squirrel
He dives for the clitoris
Says he's an oak tree

Sitting there quiet,
Birds chirping, playing banjo
Uncle is still gay.

My ass cheeks spread wide
plaster pours forth, shards aplenty
shit plaster shards... ow.

Previous haiku
not meant to make fun of 9-11
My uncle is gay.

Fields aplenty, patches
People looking like small ants
From a crashing plane

Tribute to heroes
Standing tall amidst masses
My steely man-pole

frothy excrement
speedy jet of greenish goo
pants are smoldering

Two more languages
could maybe sometime be tried -
but only one I'll dare

Until now used four,
Some are easy some are not
All are really fun

Spanish Portuguese
Can be really special fun
but need time to think

Other languages
can be called appropriate too -
Will try that one day

French too many syl's
Italian nobody knows
English more popular

De quelle humeur t'es?
Ne les laisse pas decider
pour toute la journee

Don't let them decide
that happy is not your mood
when you start your day

When you start your day
is it radio or the news
who decide your mood

Let's say happiness
should be the one driving force
behind all one's moods

Is "fun" the right word -
Or "happiness" maybe is
a much better choice

Haiku is just fun -
Holiness is everywhere
and can be fun too

PT number 6
Raising popularity -
But is this what counts?

Raise my eyes towards
the mountains from which help comes -
Help from the Creator

Did not deserve it
Though I was saved anyway -
Magnanimity

Last haiku should say
Eventu'ly gave way to
5 Syllables, Oops

Festapalooza
Eventually Gave Way To
Twelve Beers of Christmas

GREEN BAY PACKERS RULE
practice saying GREEN BAY PACK-
ERS SUPER BOWL CHAMPS

so disappointing
H B O's Sopranos sucked
fuhgeddaboudit

my nose is pouring
provoked by plumes of bushfires
wish it was raining

onjaysun, picked boss
in secret santa lotto!
any good, mean thoughts?

now that it's over
was your holiday good, r?
by the way, m/f?

hey r of pt
really multilingual?
or faked with website?

(babelfish or any translator site)

your time tends to shine
forgetting your bandages
somewhere in your mind

no more studying
if i were to see more books
my head would explode