she's married five months,
it has been ten years for me,
yet still she teases

she replied again --
asked if i got her reply
and now i'm confused

she replied ... sort of
only quoted my email;
is that meaningful?

you know..hinterland
you ask good questions, yet you
ask them in wrong place

who the hell told me
that i had any business
writing these haikus

farming on the face,
hoping for a good harvest --
squeezing my pimples

when i was little
my turds were small hard pebbles
that hurt to squeeze out

now that i'm older
my poop has turned squishier
and harder to wipe

The farts of others
always stink; secretly though
we enjoy our own

if i don't wipe real
good, sometimes my sphincter gets
a sore spot on it

sometimes my poop plips
and other times it goes plop
but it always stinks

most nights my feet stink
they smell salty and cheesy
i kind of like it

funny little mole
you have turned irregular
do i have cancer?

they swim mindlessly
fish swimming in the circle
they know no better

they're swimming right now
round and round and round they go
they swim forever

if you observant
you get some Lips trivia
look, my submit times

If i may, i need to get some things
off my chest. A while ago, i may
have said some stuff or acted in a
manner that may have made some of you wonder "whats wrong with
old Lips?" Well, i was going thoug
a hard time and i says some thing.
it all come from the Heroin, tru.
Let ube know that this statemitten
void all others that bash myself. sock that !, all is bright, MERRY
CHRISTMAS

ahh! what has happened?
everyone suck at haikus
do better next time.

OR BOMBSKIN!
WTF?
yea bombskin
what is that?
well Ardon, bombskin is a travellers who wen with the tiem alls., yea yea he does that too,1
why, how can i learn more?
pubeu library!!!!!!!!4

your problems with pants
are better than having brown
skidmarks in the back

Invited girlfriend
Marking her territory
Throws out my bum pants

Ostriches, oysters
and steaks oh my! MUST GET JEANS
Damn you Pants of Chance

i wish all these chicks
would stop riding on my jock
it's embarrassing

' ... couldn't wait for you ... '
sounds like a strange reason to
marry someone else

Uhnnfff ... intestines knot
Potato salad went bad
I really must poop

There is so much work
The workers are so lazy
The checkbook's open

But when they get it
Then I can discuss with them
If they really care

First it must be clear -
If they want to convince me
forget about it

yeah, I wuv Chwismusss
yup, I rewwy rewwy do
Mewwy Chwismusss All

Thanksgiving is code
for ritual sacrifice
Christmas is coming

I haven't the time
or the will or the conscience
to make my mark here

what did you think of
our fair city? did you go
anywhere while here?

beautiful weather
is a pretty relative
concept, don't you think?

Weekend in SF
A really beautiful place
Weather was nice too

R, you were put here
to serve a higher purpose:
write more Spam haiku.

I nearly forgot
all about the Earth, you know -billions of planets...

One thing I would change:
Pi is just way, way too long.
Next time it's just three.

Thank you so much, R!
So this Creation of Mine -
you think it's okay?

but she said she loved
me...as she xeroxed her butt
at Christmas party

k, the only x
cia agent, is a
dead cia agent

With a pure purpose,
truly counting on His help
It just cannot fail

J'etais agite' -
et grace a Ta bienveillance
je me suis calme'

K, I too saw 8
mile today, what did you
think of the movie?

Oh shit it seems
I'm new to this dreadful place
I must aquire friends

I wish you wouldn't
speaking in tongues is better
now that's my language

Four languages now -
Could post in a few more too
but maybe I won't

Per un nonnulla
mi sono agitato -
mi Hai salvato !

Piena bufera
Stomaco in subbuglio -
Pronto Soccorso

What we want to see
is eight lights, but much before
next Saturday night

Ce soir trois bougies -
Demain elles seront soit quatre
soit (je l'espere) huit !

making Christmas gifts...
bookbinding is pretty cool;
journals for haikus

going to see 8
Mile tomorrow morning
and three other films....