Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 44 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

la la, the song goes.
La la la la la la la...
Oh, you know the one..
Haiku # 2137, September 23, 1999 9:27 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
It''s motivation
That''s lacking in this damn place
That, or topless girls
Haiku # 2136, September 23, 1999 8:46 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Like Charlton Heston
I wage war on night creatures
Man, I hate badgers
Haiku # 2135, September 23, 1999 8:44 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Red buses are crap
You wait ages for just one
Then three come at once
Haiku # 2134, September 23, 1999 8:19 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Red buses are crap
Haiku # 2133, September 23, 1999 8:18 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I miss red buses.
The ones here are bright yellow;
full of schoolchildren.
Haiku # 2132, September 23, 1999 7:45 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
His name was Nigel.
What`s more, it quite suited him.
Which is a pity.
Haiku # 2131, September 23, 1999 7:41 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
If it don''t have milk
Then it isn''t a milk shake
Why can''t you see that?
Haiku # 2130, September 23, 1999 5:38 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The Millennium
Draws closer, like a workman
With a claw hammer
Haiku # 2129, September 23, 1999 5:20 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Body parts as clothes
Are somewhat reminiscent
Of that Ed fellow
Haiku # 2128, September 23, 1999 5:19 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Jan Brady is Sweet.
I want to have her and wear
her ass as a hat.
Haiku # 2127, September 23, 1999 3:30 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Front Row Joe You Dog
John was waving black and white
Checkered victory
Haiku # 2126, September 22, 1999 8:52 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
What is a woman?
Everything a man can be
But coyly isn''t
Haiku # 2125, September 22, 1999 8:47 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
six hours of poker
eighteen beers while joints fly by.
dawn squeezes our heads
Haiku # 2124, September 22, 1999 8:46 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
I carry burdens
of guilt upon my back
Atlas understands
Haiku # 2123, September 22, 1999 8:38 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Epic 5-7-5

Boy meets girl, have kid
then marriage, bastard dies young
WAR! girl gets letter
Haiku # 2122, September 22, 1999 8:31 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Earthquakes, Hurricanes
Infestation, Destitude
Damn my Cable''s out!
Haiku # 2121, September 22, 1999 8:22 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
night; the lake reflects
fast orange light from the trash
burning on the shore
Haiku # 2120, September 22, 1999 10:41 am ET
by Lollywood Bongrider
blue prism glasses
ten years dead in a black hole
still sculpting cold mud
Haiku # 2119, September 22, 1999 10:37 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
prototypical
rotting fruit on the one side
sand on the other
Haiku # 2118, September 22, 1999 10:35 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
my big teddy bear
my brother named you billy
go in peace my friend
Haiku # 2117, September 22, 1999 10:29 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
I`m delighted by
the dialogue of porn films.
I feel so alone..
Haiku # 2116, September 22, 1999 7:49 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
''How`d you like that, bitch?''
''I like it... a lot! Harder!''
''Tell me, are you tight?''
Haiku # 2115, September 22, 1999 7:48 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
''Frottage'' is three sylls.
See, the third A is silent.
And invisible..
Haiku # 2114, September 22, 1999 7:44 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
What`s the appeal with
Japanese Nurse Bondage Porn?
Leather Tubigrip?
Haiku # 2113, September 22, 1999 5:32 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
That crazy Jason
Doesn''t he know that sheepskins
Are just so pass
Haiku # 2112, September 22, 1999 5:30 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Her teeth were whiter
Than the inside of a fresh
Bird`s Eye Fish Finger
Haiku # 2111, September 22, 1999 5:28 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
But surely "Frottage"
Is only two syllables
Which meanss one`s missing
Haiku # 2110, September 22, 1999 5:27 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
These little square keys
Are sprung more tightly than a
Really springy thing
Haiku # 2109, September 22, 1999 2:17 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I sincerely think
That we''d be happier if
We were all Vikings
Haiku # 2108, September 22, 1999 2:14 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Paris boinked Helen.
Achillis, Patrolicles --
that was no cold war!
Haiku # 2107, September 21, 1999 8:45 pm ET
by Homer of Greece (did ya need to ask?)
Faust, meet Devil...
And have WAAAAY too good a time --
MARGARET!! Amen!
Haiku # 2106, September 21, 1999 8:37 pm ET
by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe of Weimer
Hey, Everybody!
See if you can write epics
in 5-7-5
Haiku # 2105, September 21, 1999 8:34 pm ET
by T.S. Eliot of Shanti, Shanti, Shanti-town, The Waste Land
Home is where I go
at closing time when I''ve pissed
my pants and blown chow.
Haiku # 2104, September 21, 1999 8:29 pm ET
by Nunya Bidness of Tumbleweed,
Home is where I go
at closing time when I''ve pissed
Haiku # 2103, September 21, 1999 8:28 pm ET
by Nunya Bidness of Tumbleweed,
Where, really is home?
Is it where you keep your stuff?
Or where you lie down?
Haiku # 2102, September 21, 1999 6:35 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Here in Toledo,
I''m stranded just for a week.
God.....please make time fly!!!
Haiku # 2101, September 21, 1999 6:31 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Tuesday night at home.
A bottle of Chardonnay
and some golden green.
Haiku # 2100, September 21, 1999 6:26 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Damn those lesbians!
They''re getting too much pussy!
I''m getting jeleous!
Haiku # 2099, September 21, 1999 6:18 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
My fingers are loose.
Gonna punch out my keyboard
with blazing hot thoughts.
Haiku # 2098, September 21, 1999 6:15 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Jan Brady looks great
especially when she wears
her new pink panties!
Haiku # 2097, September 21, 1999 6:02 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Scrunty is my name.
It`s an European name.
It means `frottage`.
Haiku # 2096, September 21, 1999 1:16 pm ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Skin stretched more tightly
Than on a new kettle drum
That''s Faye Dunawaye
Haiku # 2095, September 21, 1999 12:52 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Small silver spaceship
Skips across the atmosphere
Like a tossed pebble
Haiku # 2094, September 21, 1999 12:45 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I wear the darkness
Like trousers with big pockets
I bought from the Gap
Haiku # 2093, September 21, 1999 12:44 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I peeled off my flesh
To see what lay inside
Just red stuff, it seems
Haiku # 2092, September 21, 1999 12:42 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Rubber appliance
The size off a salami
With none of the meat
Haiku # 2091, September 21, 1999 12:38 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
internet addict
pulling down all that data
with barely a thought
Haiku # 2090, September 21, 1999 6:30 am ET
by ash
I haiku alone
That''s the way it''s always been
And always will be
Haiku # 2089, September 21, 1999 1:26 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Help! I''m in Viking
territory....they are all
Big Balookas here!
Haiku # 2088, September 19, 1999 7:28 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
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