Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 354 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

Like Charlton Heston
I wage war on night creatures
Man, I hate badgers
Haiku # 2135, September 23, 1999 8:44 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Red buses are crap
You wait ages for just one
Then three come at once
Haiku # 2134, September 23, 1999 8:19 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Red buses are crap
Haiku # 2133, September 23, 1999 8:18 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I miss red buses.
The ones here are bright yellow;
full of schoolchildren.
Haiku # 2132, September 23, 1999 7:45 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
His name was Nigel.
What`s more, it quite suited him.
Which is a pity.
Haiku # 2131, September 23, 1999 7:41 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
If it don''t have milk
Then it isn''t a milk shake
Why can''t you see that?
Haiku # 2130, September 23, 1999 5:38 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The Millennium
Draws closer, like a workman
With a claw hammer
Haiku # 2129, September 23, 1999 5:20 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Body parts as clothes
Are somewhat reminiscent
Of that Ed fellow
Haiku # 2128, September 23, 1999 5:19 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Jan Brady is Sweet.
I want to have her and wear
her ass as a hat.
Haiku # 2127, September 23, 1999 3:30 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Front Row Joe You Dog
John was waving black and white
Checkered victory
Haiku # 2126, September 22, 1999 8:52 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
What is a woman?
Everything a man can be
But coyly isn''t
Haiku # 2125, September 22, 1999 8:47 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
six hours of poker
eighteen beers while joints fly by.
dawn squeezes our heads
Haiku # 2124, September 22, 1999 8:46 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
I carry burdens
of guilt upon my back
Atlas understands
Haiku # 2123, September 22, 1999 8:38 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Epic 5-7-5

Boy meets girl, have kid
then marriage, bastard dies young
WAR! girl gets letter
Haiku # 2122, September 22, 1999 8:31 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Earthquakes, Hurricanes
Infestation, Destitude
Damn my Cable''s out!
Haiku # 2121, September 22, 1999 8:22 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
night; the lake reflects
fast orange light from the trash
burning on the shore
Haiku # 2120, September 22, 1999 10:41 am ET
by Lollywood Bongrider
blue prism glasses
ten years dead in a black hole
still sculpting cold mud
Haiku # 2119, September 22, 1999 10:37 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
prototypical
rotting fruit on the one side
sand on the other
Haiku # 2118, September 22, 1999 10:35 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
my big teddy bear
my brother named you billy
go in peace my friend
Haiku # 2117, September 22, 1999 10:29 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
I`m delighted by
the dialogue of porn films.
I feel so alone..
Haiku # 2116, September 22, 1999 7:49 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
''How`d you like that, bitch?''
''I like it... a lot! Harder!''
''Tell me, are you tight?''
Haiku # 2115, September 22, 1999 7:48 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
''Frottage'' is three sylls.
See, the third A is silent.
And invisible..
Haiku # 2114, September 22, 1999 7:44 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
What`s the appeal with
Japanese Nurse Bondage Porn?
Leather Tubigrip?
Haiku # 2113, September 22, 1999 5:32 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
That crazy Jason
Doesn''t he know that sheepskins
Are just so pass
Haiku # 2112, September 22, 1999 5:30 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Her teeth were whiter
Than the inside of a fresh
Bird`s Eye Fish Finger
Haiku # 2111, September 22, 1999 5:28 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
But surely "Frottage"
Is only two syllables
Which meanss one`s missing
Haiku # 2110, September 22, 1999 5:27 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
These little square keys
Are sprung more tightly than a
Really springy thing
Haiku # 2109, September 22, 1999 2:17 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I sincerely think
That we''d be happier if
We were all Vikings
Haiku # 2108, September 22, 1999 2:14 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Paris boinked Helen.
Achillis, Patrolicles --
that was no cold war!
Haiku # 2107, September 21, 1999 8:45 pm ET
by Homer of Greece (did ya need to ask?)
Faust, meet Devil...
And have WAAAAY too good a time --
MARGARET!! Amen!
Haiku # 2106, September 21, 1999 8:37 pm ET
by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe of Weimer
Hey, Everybody!
See if you can write epics
in 5-7-5
Haiku # 2105, September 21, 1999 8:34 pm ET
by T.S. Eliot of Shanti, Shanti, Shanti-town, The Waste Land
Home is where I go
at closing time when I''ve pissed
my pants and blown chow.
Haiku # 2104, September 21, 1999 8:29 pm ET
by Nunya Bidness of Tumbleweed,
Home is where I go
at closing time when I''ve pissed
Haiku # 2103, September 21, 1999 8:28 pm ET
by Nunya Bidness of Tumbleweed,
Where, really is home?
Is it where you keep your stuff?
Or where you lie down?
Haiku # 2102, September 21, 1999 6:35 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Here in Toledo,
I''m stranded just for a week.
God.....please make time fly!!!
Haiku # 2101, September 21, 1999 6:31 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Tuesday night at home.
A bottle of Chardonnay
and some golden green.
Haiku # 2100, September 21, 1999 6:26 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Damn those lesbians!
They''re getting too much pussy!
I''m getting jeleous!
Haiku # 2099, September 21, 1999 6:18 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
My fingers are loose.
Gonna punch out my keyboard
with blazing hot thoughts.
Haiku # 2098, September 21, 1999 6:15 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Jan Brady looks great
especially when she wears
her new pink panties!
Haiku # 2097, September 21, 1999 6:02 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Scrunty is my name.
It`s an European name.
It means `frottage`.
Haiku # 2096, September 21, 1999 1:16 pm ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Skin stretched more tightly
Than on a new kettle drum
That''s Faye Dunawaye
Haiku # 2095, September 21, 1999 12:52 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Small silver spaceship
Skips across the atmosphere
Like a tossed pebble
Haiku # 2094, September 21, 1999 12:45 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I wear the darkness
Like trousers with big pockets
I bought from the Gap
Haiku # 2093, September 21, 1999 12:44 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I peeled off my flesh
To see what lay inside
Just red stuff, it seems
Haiku # 2092, September 21, 1999 12:42 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Rubber appliance
The size off a salami
With none of the meat
Haiku # 2091, September 21, 1999 12:38 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
internet addict
pulling down all that data
with barely a thought
Haiku # 2090, September 21, 1999 6:30 am ET
by ash
I haiku alone
That''s the way it''s always been
And always will be
Haiku # 2089, September 21, 1999 1:26 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Help! I''m in Viking
territory....they are all
Big Balookas here!
Haiku # 2088, September 19, 1999 7:28 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Half empty bottles
Of once-cool Mexican beer
Lie all around me
Haiku # 2087, September 18, 1999 9:45 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Cold rain is falling
And wetting the old cobbles
Making them slippy
Haiku # 2086, September 18, 1999 9:43 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
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