Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 166 Days and 77047 Haiku later...

DO NOT MESS IT UP
WARNING DO NOT MESS IT UP
DO NOT MESS IT UP
Haiku # 63870, April 17, 2019 3:10 pm ET
by Strict God
Today is the day
You only get this one chance
So don
Haiku # 63869, April 17, 2019 3:09 pm ET
by Strict God
Pink protuberance
Thrusting with exuberance
Now you messed your pants
Haiku # 63868, April 17, 2019 2:59 pm ET
by C of Cum on grandpa
Meanwhile in Japan
Ginsu knives chop syllables
Make Bad Limericks
Haiku # 63867, April 17, 2019 2:56 pm ET
by Pocky Stick of In my pants
The world is a dump
But I don't look so ugly
When I stand near you
Haiku # 63866, April 17, 2019 12:03 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Near person uglier than myself
Seashell to his ear
Philippines long distance
Hollywood calling
Haiku # 63865, April 17, 2019 12:00 pm ET
by Posh Poet
Microfiber cloths
Clean caked on goo and smegma
Put a spit shine on
Haiku # 63864, April 17, 2019 11:48 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Washroom
I've just four inches
You likely require more
So just suck it twice
Haiku # 63863, April 17, 2019 10:38 am ET
by Example of Poor hygiene
Been pulling for hours
I still cannot remove this
Python from my ass
Haiku # 63862, April 17, 2019 9:09 am ET
by Rural Guido of No toucha da mushrooms
There's too much filth here.
Don't give your hearts to Satan.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63861, April 17, 2019 7:01 am ET
by TTGFP " of course you know this means war." -- Bugs Bunny
Spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm
Then wait seven syllables
Then start convulsing
Haiku # 63860, April 17, 2019 4:37 am ET
by Grand Mal of French Poetry
What's DF watching
As he drools on his keyboard...
Is it sports or spurts?
Haiku # 63859, April 17, 2019 4:33 am ET
by Howard Cosell Clean-up Committee
She swallowed your pride
Reclaim your manhood tonight
Watch sports on tv
Haiku # 63858, April 17, 2019 2:13 am ET
by Ghost of Howard Cosell of Sofa
I came too early
As most guys do at one time
At least she swallowed
Haiku # 63857, April 17, 2019 2:06 am ET
by End of A long day
Sir Darth Figpucker
Found NOT GUILTY by reason
Of profanity
Haiku # 63856, April 17, 2019 2:00 am ET
by Here cums of The Judge
Heads move from side to side
They're following the action
Can you grunt like me?
Haiku # 63855, April 17, 2019 1:58 am ET
by Monica Seles of Spectator Spurts
Sucking one's own dick
Should be a spectator sport
I know that I'd watch
Haiku # 63854, April 17, 2019 1:38 am ET
by Not guilty by reason of Temporary insanity
I got syphilis
Followed by gonorrhea
And then died of AIDS
Haiku # 63853, April 17, 2019 1:31 am ET
by Night of The Living Dead
Riding my skateboard
I'm so inspirational
Riding my skateboard
Haiku # 63852, April 16, 2019 11:22 pm ET
by Beto O'Rourke of Metallica concert
The only good thing
I have to say about France
Cats walk on tables
Haiku # 63851, April 16, 2019 9:44 pm ET
by Starkitten of Tables
Paris: flaming dame--
Payback for the massacres
Of the Huguenots
Haiku # 63850, April 16, 2019 9:27 pm ET
by St. Barthelemy of 1572
Farted,but no shit
Sneezed my head off, no booger
I got a hard on
Haiku # 63849, April 16, 2019 8:35 pm ET
by My Day
Is it possible?
Simultaneously sneeze
And blow your load, too?
Haiku # 63848, April 16, 2019 8:31 pm ET
by Getterdun
On this doll right here
Show us where Daddy touched you
A Figpucker Doll!
Haiku # 63847, April 16, 2019 8:28 pm ET
by What a Women want of Lining up
When things get boring
Dress your penis in doll clothes
Ventrilojizzum
Haiku # 63846, April 16, 2019 7:16 pm ET
by Throwing my Voice
Dirty underwear
New Jelly Belly flavour
Ronald Reagan's farts
Haiku # 63845, April 16, 2019 7:12 pm ET
by Win one for the quiffer
I saw you in church
Fishnet stockings, stilettos
Get a grip, Father!
Haiku # 63844, April 16, 2019 3:15 pm ET
by Holy Mackerel, Andy of The cow kicked Nancy
That pained expression
Mask of exasperation
As you take a shit
Haiku # 63843, April 16, 2019 3:10 pm ET
by Your face of You wear it well
Pissed off Italians
Not unlike cassowaries
Whatsamattayou??
Haiku # 63842, April 16, 2019 7:11 am ET
by Rural Guido of No toucha da mushrooms
Fire! Must Act Quickly!
Trump suggests golden showers
To extinguish fire
Haiku # 63841, April 16, 2019 7:07 am ET
by Noticer of Details of France
Roman relic burns
Do I give a Notre Dame?
It's just a building.
Haiku # 63840, April 16, 2019 5:42 am ET
by Holy Bone of the Virgins Adam's Apple
What started that fire?
Priest getting fucked up the ass
Flaming broom handle
Haiku # 63839, April 16, 2019 2:13 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Notre Dame
Throw down some haiku
The Lord forgives all your sins
Say some dirty words
Haiku # 63838, April 16, 2019 2:10 am ET
by Cunt Scribe
My time here is short.
I fear the monster's return.
It is what you want.
Haiku # 63837, April 16, 2019 2:07 am ET
by TTGFP of Lord have mercy on these sinful poets!
Praise be to the Lord!
My only friend in this world
Darth Figpucker
Haiku # 63836, April 16, 2019 2:05 am ET
by Starkitten of Glitter pan
Been chasing dollars.
For the church collection plate.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63835, April 16, 2019 2:01 am ET
by TTGFP of No, seriously! I mean it!
Figpucker is gone
His dirty thoughts and prayers
Our consolation
Haiku # 63834, April 16, 2019 1:59 am ET
by Poet
Believe me, I try
Holding back the haiku flow
That time of the month
Haiku # 63833, April 16, 2019 1:55 am ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of cunt
Genital bonsai
Mutilation or high art
On the cutting edge
Haiku # 63832, April 16, 2019 1:46 am ET
by That foolish moustache tickles
No other art form
Brings the artist such pleasure
As masturbation
Haiku # 63831, April 16, 2019 1:39 am ET
by Self portrait
Turning Japanese
Left my shoes parked at the door
Dick origami
Haiku # 63830, April 16, 2019 1:35 am ET
by Spitting Crane
A lonely pursuit
Arrangement of syllables
Might as well beat off
Haiku # 63829, April 16, 2019 1:33 am ET
by Punk of Chewation
CB Radios
Mom standing in the kitchen
What a cameltoe
Haiku # 63828, April 16, 2019 1:21 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Beside myself
I thought they were pets
Rabbits down in the cellar
They were for dinner
Haiku # 63827, April 16, 2019 1:16 am ET
by Just a kid
Pissed off Italian
The chain link fence broom attack
Yard vigilante
Haiku # 63826, April 16, 2019 1:11 am ET
by Rural Guido of Backyard
Heads bowed in prayer
Fresh Halibut Homily
Homely as a cunt
Haiku # 63825, April 16, 2019 1:08 am ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of Cunt
At the slot machine
Pulled the wrong handle again
Jackpot of Jizzum
Haiku # 63824, April 16, 2019 1:04 am ET
by Winner winner choked chicken dinner
Sticks rubbed together
No more electricity
Modern day loin cloth
Haiku # 63823, April 16, 2019 12:37 am ET
by Largest size pouch of Selfie Stick
Hibernation ends
Groggy grizzly bears hunched
Spring bowel movements
Haiku # 63822, April 16, 2019 12:31 am ET
by Nose of Nose
Executioner
Like Big Bird high on bath salts
Bad Cassowary
Haiku # 63821, April 16, 2019 12:26 am ET
by Bad Egg of Dead End Street
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