Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

Pissed off Italian
The chain link fence broom attack
Yard vigilante
Haiku # 63826, April 16, 2019 1:11 am ET
by Rural Guido of Backyard
Heads bowed in prayer
Fresh Halibut Homily
Homely as a cunt
Haiku # 63825, April 16, 2019 1:08 am ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of Cunt
At the slot machine
Pulled the wrong handle again
Jackpot of Jizzum
Haiku # 63824, April 16, 2019 1:04 am ET
by Winner winner choked chicken dinner
Sticks rubbed together
No more electricity
Modern day loin cloth
Haiku # 63823, April 16, 2019 12:37 am ET
by Largest size pouch of Selfie Stick
Hibernation ends
Groggy grizzly bears hunched
Spring bowel movements
Haiku # 63822, April 16, 2019 12:31 am ET
by Nose of Nose
Executioner
Like Big Bird high on bath salts
Bad Cassowary
Haiku # 63821, April 16, 2019 12:26 am ET
by Bad Egg of Dead End Street
Got a telegram
"I DIDN'T START THE FIRE" STOP
SENDER:BILLY JOEL
Haiku # 63820, April 16, 2019 12:18 am ET
by S. Cargo of Notre Dame
Polyester shorts
Your dad's penis snaking out
I better go home
Haiku # 63819, April 16, 2019 12:05 am ET
by Rural Guido
Wait I have no friend
Not even Lord Jesus Christ
Nor Father Christmas
Haiku # 63818, April 16, 2019 12:03 am ET
by Lone wolf
So what's the deal with
Lizard people? They're lizards?
Or are they people?
Haiku # 63817, April 16, 2019 12:02 am ET
by Jerry Seinfeld of 5 hits of acid
Bad Haiku poets
Have any met in real life?
Do you have real lives?
Haiku # 63816, April 15, 2019 11:59 pm ET
by Asking for a friend
No one cares enough
About you to be happy
Or sad when you die

And this is mostly
Your fault because you've chosen
To be a scumbag
Haiku # 63815, April 15, 2019 11:56 pm ET
by Ghost of Christmas
The train whistle blows
And so does your grandmother
Just ask the mailman
Haiku # 63814, April 15, 2019 10:59 pm ET
by The Mailman of Porch
Warming my cold feet
Against your hot testicles
You're good for something
Haiku # 63813, April 15, 2019 10:55 pm ET
by What women want of Dad's anteater
I don't have a wife
And I ain't a lesbian
You ain't a poet
Haiku # 63812, April 15, 2019 10:52 pm ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of Cunt
Listed side effects
Of fucking your wife include
Severe vomiting
Haiku # 63811, April 15, 2019 10:46 pm ET
by Let go of My arm
I just want to know
How is The Hunchback doing?
Has anyone heard?
Haiku # 63810, April 15, 2019 9:51 pm ET
by That foolish moustache tickles of Wherever you find smelly arthritis
Next time we leave here
We will walk in to the sea
And just keep walking
Haiku # 63809, April 15, 2019 7:36 pm ET
by Big Plans
As if she would care
Like envying the plumber
Unclogging the drain
Haiku # 63808, April 15, 2019 7:00 pm ET
by What women want of No toucha da mushrooms
Blowjobs are simple
One gives,the other receives
Then your wife walks in
Haiku # 63807, April 15, 2019 6:23 pm ET
by Out of My element
Vocabulary
Terrible, terrible fire
Enormous asshole
Haiku # 63806, April 15, 2019 6:22 pm ET
by Very very tremendous terrific of The best words
Save time and feel great!
Orgasmic bowel movements
Sexcrement! Why not?
Haiku # 63805, April 15, 2019 2:31 pm ET
by Efficiency Expert of Jerking off while I write this
That was no orgy
Ladies Bible Study Group
We meet next week, too
Haiku # 63804, April 15, 2019 12:27 pm ET
by Naomi the Moner of Spread eagled
My wife wasn't home
So I went to an orgy
Guess where my wife was
Haiku # 63803, April 15, 2019 10:23 am ET
by The Joy of Sex
When your wife walks in
As you're fucking your girlfriend
That can be awkward
Haiku # 63802, April 15, 2019 10:07 am ET
by World Series of Poker
Darth's infantile mind
Displays two basic settings:
Sex and excrement
Haiku # 63801, April 15, 2019 7:03 am ET
by He Never Gets Bored... But We Do
How can anyone
Produce so much bad haiku?
It must be software.
Haiku # 63800, April 15, 2019 5:34 am ET
by DF is an algorithm
Tiger woods boner
He fucks subway sandwiches
Makes his own Mayo
Haiku # 63799, April 15, 2019 2:29 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Your pa diddled fish
Right at the dinner table
Up in Granny s cunt
Haiku # 63798, April 15, 2019 2:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Grandchildren are proof
Your kids were as dumb as you
So don't have either
Haiku # 63797, April 15, 2019 1:54 am ET
by Proof of My parents having fucked
come wrestle in mud
there's one catch though - it's not mud
not chocolate either
Haiku # 63796, April 15, 2019 1:48 am ET
by what's it called when you wrestle alone in a pile of shit?

I live in the woods
I also have a dickbutt
Which is relevant
Haiku # 63795, April 15, 2019 1:44 am ET
by Rural Dickbutt
Milky meat people
Pounding their puds against walls
Those are my people
Haiku # 63794, April 15, 2019 1:44 am ET
by People person
This world is all shit
All the people smell like shit
Are you their leader?
Haiku # 63793, April 15, 2019 1:41 am ET
by Visitors
I am an agent
I also have a dickbutt
Which is relevant
Haiku # 63792, April 15, 2019 1:38 am ET
by Secret Agent Dickbutt of Langley, VA
I am a ghost, ånd
I sometimes speak Norwegian
Og jeg vet ikke
Haiku # 63791, April 15, 2019 1:22 am ET
by Hans Ånd of haunted house
I am a duck, and
I like to browse internet
I also have hands
Haiku # 63790, April 15, 2019 1:20 am ET
by Hans And of local toxic chemical spill
Bitching bastard birds
Evil Cassowary
Ostrich and Emu
Haiku # 63789, April 15, 2019 1:15 am ET
by Rural Guido of I wanted to fuck them
You got a sandwich
Buttcheecks for bread. Big pickle
What would the meat be?
Haiku # 63788, April 15, 2019 1:12 am ET
by Rural Guido of Here
Come pet the puppy
And then you'll have a nice bath
Get ready for bed
Haiku # 63787, April 15, 2019 1:11 am ET
by Grandma of Grandma's House
Where I come from we
Tackle fairies like you boy
Hence my last name, see
Haiku # 63786, April 15, 2019 1:07 am ET
by Garth Fagtackler of The Deep South
I've never had kids
For a very good reason
Cuz they'd be fucked up
Haiku # 63785, April 15, 2019 1:06 am ET
by Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia
Wore out your welcome
You defecated full blast
In our pagoda
Haiku # 63784, April 15, 2019 12:14 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Wherever you find smelly arthritis
Cunnilingus school
You never should have dropped out
Could have been someone
Haiku # 63783, April 15, 2019 12:10 am ET
by That foolish moustache tickles of Under the milky way (2nite)
Rockefeller stew
When you get a hankering
Sample our long pig
Haiku # 63782, April 15, 2019 12:08 am ET
by When God aint looking
But do you own a
shrunken head signed by Osbourn?
Heathen artifacts.
Haiku # 63781, April 14, 2019 11:52 pm ET
by Praise be to Jesus! of There's no "e" in Osborn's name.
Being gay man's sex toy
Is sure not desirable
But there's free Wi-Fi
Haiku # 63780, April 14, 2019 11:50 pm ET
by Lemmywinks of Mr. Slave's Ass
Wait a minute here!
You're saying that being Steve
Buscemi's butt beads

would not be heaven?!
You need your head examined!
Ghost pepper salsa!
Haiku # 63779, April 14, 2019 11:45 pm ET
by Holy Ghost Pepper Salsa of Praise be to Jesus!
There's no Figpucker.
There is only Twinkle Toes.
Praise be to Jesus!

The gates of Heaven
open wide for believers!
Praise be to Jesus!

My sins washed away
by blood from The Lamb of God.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63778, April 14, 2019 11:40 pm ET
by Twinkly Toes Glitter Fairy Princess of I dropped my wand, be a gentleman and pick it up for me, will you.
If I had a twat
I would show it to my friends
If I had any
Haiku # 63777, April 14, 2019 11:14 pm ET
by Death of A salesman
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