Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

No other art form
Brings the artist such pleasure
As masturbation
Haiku # 63831, April 16, 2019 1:39 am ET
by Self portrait
Turning Japanese
Left my shoes parked at the door
Dick origami
Haiku # 63830, April 16, 2019 1:35 am ET
by Spitting Crane
A lonely pursuit
Arrangement of syllables
Might as well beat off
Haiku # 63829, April 16, 2019 1:33 am ET
by Punk of Chewation
CB Radios
Mom standing in the kitchen
What a cameltoe
Haiku # 63828, April 16, 2019 1:21 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Beside myself
I thought they were pets
Rabbits down in the cellar
They were for dinner
Haiku # 63827, April 16, 2019 1:16 am ET
by Just a kid
Pissed off Italian
The chain link fence broom attack
Yard vigilante
Haiku # 63826, April 16, 2019 1:11 am ET
by Rural Guido of Backyard
Heads bowed in prayer
Fresh Halibut Homily
Homely as a cunt
Haiku # 63825, April 16, 2019 1:08 am ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of Cunt
At the slot machine
Pulled the wrong handle again
Jackpot of Jizzum
Haiku # 63824, April 16, 2019 1:04 am ET
by Winner winner choked chicken dinner
Sticks rubbed together
No more electricity
Modern day loin cloth
Haiku # 63823, April 16, 2019 12:37 am ET
by Largest size pouch of Selfie Stick
Hibernation ends
Groggy grizzly bears hunched
Spring bowel movements
Haiku # 63822, April 16, 2019 12:31 am ET
by Nose of Nose
Executioner
Like Big Bird high on bath salts
Bad Cassowary
Haiku # 63821, April 16, 2019 12:26 am ET
by Bad Egg of Dead End Street
Got a telegram
"I DIDN'T START THE FIRE" STOP
SENDER:BILLY JOEL
Haiku # 63820, April 16, 2019 12:18 am ET
by S. Cargo of Notre Dame
Polyester shorts
Your dad's penis snaking out
I better go home
Haiku # 63819, April 16, 2019 12:05 am ET
by Rural Guido
Wait I have no friend
Not even Lord Jesus Christ
Nor Father Christmas
Haiku # 63818, April 16, 2019 12:03 am ET
by Lone wolf
So what's the deal with
Lizard people? They're lizards?
Or are they people?
Haiku # 63817, April 16, 2019 12:02 am ET
by Jerry Seinfeld of 5 hits of acid
Bad Haiku poets
Have any met in real life?
Do you have real lives?
Haiku # 63816, April 15, 2019 11:59 pm ET
by Asking for a friend
No one cares enough
About you to be happy
Or sad when you die

And this is mostly
Your fault because you've chosen
To be a scumbag
Haiku # 63815, April 15, 2019 11:56 pm ET
by Ghost of Christmas
The train whistle blows
And so does your grandmother
Just ask the mailman
Haiku # 63814, April 15, 2019 10:59 pm ET
by The Mailman of Porch
Warming my cold feet
Against your hot testicles
You're good for something
Haiku # 63813, April 15, 2019 10:55 pm ET
by What women want of Dad's anteater
I don't have a wife
And I ain't a lesbian
You ain't a poet
Haiku # 63812, April 15, 2019 10:52 pm ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of Cunt
Listed side effects
Of fucking your wife include
Severe vomiting
Haiku # 63811, April 15, 2019 10:46 pm ET
by Let go of My arm
I just want to know
How is The Hunchback doing?
Has anyone heard?
Haiku # 63810, April 15, 2019 9:51 pm ET
by That foolish moustache tickles of Wherever you find smelly arthritis
Next time we leave here
We will walk in to the sea
And just keep walking
Haiku # 63809, April 15, 2019 7:36 pm ET
by Big Plans
As if she would care
Like envying the plumber
Unclogging the drain
Haiku # 63808, April 15, 2019 7:00 pm ET
by What women want of No toucha da mushrooms
Blowjobs are simple
One gives,the other receives
Then your wife walks in
Haiku # 63807, April 15, 2019 6:23 pm ET
by Out of My element
Vocabulary
Terrible, terrible fire
Enormous asshole
Haiku # 63806, April 15, 2019 6:22 pm ET
by Very very tremendous terrific of The best words
Save time and feel great!
Orgasmic bowel movements
Sexcrement! Why not?
Haiku # 63805, April 15, 2019 2:31 pm ET
by Efficiency Expert of Jerking off while I write this
That was no orgy
Ladies Bible Study Group
We meet next week, too
Haiku # 63804, April 15, 2019 12:27 pm ET
by Naomi the Moner of Spread eagled
My wife wasn't home
So I went to an orgy
Guess where my wife was
Haiku # 63803, April 15, 2019 10:23 am ET
by The Joy of Sex
When your wife walks in
As you're fucking your girlfriend
That can be awkward
Haiku # 63802, April 15, 2019 10:07 am ET
by World Series of Poker
Darth's infantile mind
Displays two basic settings:
Sex and excrement
Haiku # 63801, April 15, 2019 7:03 am ET
by He Never Gets Bored... But We Do
How can anyone
Produce so much bad haiku?
It must be software.
Haiku # 63800, April 15, 2019 5:34 am ET
by DF is an algorithm
Tiger woods boner
He fucks subway sandwiches
Makes his own Mayo
Haiku # 63799, April 15, 2019 2:29 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Your pa diddled fish
Right at the dinner table
Up in Granny s cunt
Haiku # 63798, April 15, 2019 2:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Grandchildren are proof
Your kids were as dumb as you
So don't have either
Haiku # 63797, April 15, 2019 1:54 am ET
by Proof of My parents having fucked
come wrestle in mud
there's one catch though - it's not mud
not chocolate either
Haiku # 63796, April 15, 2019 1:48 am ET
by what's it called when you wrestle alone in a pile of shit?

I live in the woods
I also have a dickbutt
Which is relevant
Haiku # 63795, April 15, 2019 1:44 am ET
by Rural Dickbutt
Milky meat people
Pounding their puds against walls
Those are my people
Haiku # 63794, April 15, 2019 1:44 am ET
by People person
This world is all shit
All the people smell like shit
Are you their leader?
Haiku # 63793, April 15, 2019 1:41 am ET
by Visitors
I am an agent
I also have a dickbutt
Which is relevant
Haiku # 63792, April 15, 2019 1:38 am ET
by Secret Agent Dickbutt of Langley, VA
I am a ghost, ånd
I sometimes speak Norwegian
Og jeg vet ikke
Haiku # 63791, April 15, 2019 1:22 am ET
by Hans Ånd of haunted house
I am a duck, and
I like to browse internet
I also have hands
Haiku # 63790, April 15, 2019 1:20 am ET
by Hans And of local toxic chemical spill
Bitching bastard birds
Evil Cassowary
Ostrich and Emu
Haiku # 63789, April 15, 2019 1:15 am ET
by Rural Guido of I wanted to fuck them
You got a sandwich
Buttcheecks for bread. Big pickle
What would the meat be?
Haiku # 63788, April 15, 2019 1:12 am ET
by Rural Guido of Here
Come pet the puppy
And then you'll have a nice bath
Get ready for bed
Haiku # 63787, April 15, 2019 1:11 am ET
by Grandma of Grandma's House
Where I come from we
Tackle fairies like you boy
Hence my last name, see
Haiku # 63786, April 15, 2019 1:07 am ET
by Garth Fagtackler of The Deep South
I've never had kids
For a very good reason
Cuz they'd be fucked up
Haiku # 63785, April 15, 2019 1:06 am ET
by Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia
Wore out your welcome
You defecated full blast
In our pagoda
Haiku # 63784, April 15, 2019 12:14 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Wherever you find smelly arthritis
Cunnilingus school
You never should have dropped out
Could have been someone
Haiku # 63783, April 15, 2019 12:10 am ET
by That foolish moustache tickles of Under the milky way (2nite)
Rockefeller stew
When you get a hankering
Sample our long pig
Haiku # 63782, April 15, 2019 12:08 am ET
by When God aint looking
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