Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 167 Days and 77047 Haiku later...

Cutting the cheese farts.
Limburger overdose poots.
That's not ammonia.

Real farts have sulfides.
Stinky cheese has amine smell.
They are not the same.

When the poets poot.
Candlelight gas explosions.
Singing hidden hairs.
Haiku # 62373, February 22, 2019 10:15 am ET
by Darth Figpucker's friend, Bob, the all-knowing jackass. of Bathtub cheese factory -- amphetamine mother fucker
Dogs always find out
Is there cheese in your pocket?
Fart stain in your pants?
Haiku # 62372, February 22, 2019 6:20 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I can hear God's dog.
It's vomiting on my couch.
Or my wife's horny.
Haiku # 62371, February 22, 2019 3:18 am ET
by df
Despite what they say,
vaginas do not explode,
even with Pop Rocks.
Haiku # 62370, February 22, 2019 3:16 am ET
by df
My enormous cunt
remains unsatisfied by
your tiny penis.
Haiku # 62369, February 22, 2019 3:11 am ET
by Donald Trump's prostitute
She would leave me.
But she's become a fat pig.
Nobody wants her.
Haiku # 62368, February 22, 2019 12:45 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Nothing is wasted
If I have to use tweezers
I will smoke this roach
Haiku # 62367, February 21, 2019 11:02 pm ET
by Frugal
Grinch farts Grinch farts, yeah!
Grinch farts Grinch farts Grinch farts, yeah!
Grinch farts Grinch farts, yeah!
Haiku # 62366, February 21, 2019 8:59 pm ET
by Jim Morrison of Yelling
Tried to get it on
With a horny stoplight once
But no GO signal
Haiku # 62365, February 21, 2019 6:25 pm ET
by Consent
Maybe we could try
Still have a few drinks and screw
In a dark alley
Haiku # 62364, February 21, 2019 6:24 pm ET
by Robot
Poetry Robot
No marital relations
Ejaculates grease
Haiku # 62363, February 21, 2019 6:21 pm ET
by Watch your step
Grinch farts up the front
Impressive labia stunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Haiku # 62362, February 21, 2019 6:16 pm ET
by Paid advertisement
I do not have a wife. I am not a lesbian. I am single.
Haiku # 62361, February 21, 2019 6:14 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I don
Haiku # 62360, February 21, 2019 6:13 pm ET
by Single
I mentioned the wife,
but you are back to Grinch Farts.
What is wrong with you?
Haiku # 62359, February 21, 2019 6:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Grinch farts for Christmas
Just the right size for stockings
So green and smelly
Haiku # 62358, February 21, 2019 2:09 pm ET
by Can wait until Christmas
Poles Dancing Club. What?
Accordions..Bobby Vinton!?
Not as expected
Haiku # 62357, February 21, 2019 11:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Imagine Darth's wife.
Does he even have a wife?
If so, pity her.
Haiku # 62356, February 21, 2019 8:10 am ET
by Conjugal Conjugations of Wife
Beastiality
Turned myself in to the cops
For screwing a pig
Haiku # 62355, February 21, 2019 7:12 am ET
by Wait of That's my wife
Looking for something ?
I hope it's not poetry
You won't find that here
Haiku # 62354, February 21, 2019 7:07 am ET
by Poet of Here
run run hurdle
Run run hurdle run run
Run run hurdle
Haiku # 62353, February 21, 2019 3:23 am ET
by Track meet of Track
Trump toilet paper
Each square displays his visage
Orange becomes burnt ombré
Haiku # 62352, February 21, 2019 2:40 am ET
by Grunting of Terlit
Time for a poem
I assume the position
Push out another
Haiku # 62351, February 21, 2019 2:38 am ET
by Pooet of Poetry Well
I'm not complaining
Watching you bend over now
Picking up a dime
Haiku # 62350, February 21, 2019 12:19 am ET
by Dime dropper
Please don't get me wrong
I'm not sure what to say here
But I sure can count
Haiku # 62349, February 21, 2019 12:16 am ET
by Haiku poet of Syllables
I'm not a bad man
I flush after I go poo
Don't spit on the streets
Haiku # 62348, February 21, 2019 12:13 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Metamorphosis
When butterflies get boners
Then they fly zig zag
Haiku # 62347, February 21, 2019 12:11 am ET
by Nature Lover
company has left
Out of habit, I get up
Sniff all the chair seats
Haiku # 62346, February 20, 2019 11:53 pm ET
by Used to be a dog
Whatever you want
But when you say what you want
They call the police
Haiku # 62345, February 20, 2019 11:48 pm ET
by Huh?
Sea kraits twisty dance
Come to our undersea rave
We will bite your ass
Haiku # 62344, February 20, 2019 11:23 pm ET
by Kraits of Sea
I DID go live there.
Living there as we now "speak".
And it's a shit hole.

But at least I'm free.
American Freedom's dead.
Hope you like your wall.
Haiku # 62343, February 20, 2019 8:26 pm ET
by df
Abort those babies.
Legalize pot and cocaine.
Hail Lord Satan!

Old perv grabs pussy.
Orange Cheeto-head con artist.
He is Putin's slave.
Haiku # 62342, February 20, 2019 8:24 pm ET
by Generic Leftist Poet
Leftist poetry...
God I can't stand it at all;
predictably dull.
Haiku # 62341, February 20, 2019 7:32 pm ET
by if u love it so much go LIVE there, hypocrite!
Well I changed my mind
I went hog wild. Chose the ham.
Farts sound like oinking
Haiku # 62340, February 20, 2019 6:51 pm ET
by Urwhatueat
Sulphur farts, uh-huh...
That's your mind on a good day.
And when it's filthy ?
Haiku # 62339, February 20, 2019 5:46 pm ET
by Wafting Stench of Your Putrefaction
I chose egg salad
Something to look forward to
Cutting sulphur farts
Haiku # 62338, February 20, 2019 4:19 pm ET
by Eggscreament of Cubicle of whoopsie
I'm at work today
Deciding on lunch choices
Egg salad or ham
Haiku # 62337, February 20, 2019 4:17 pm ET
by Luncheoner of Lunch Line
He responds with shit.
His brain is like a toilet.
He deserves a flush.
Haiku # 62336, February 20, 2019 2:40 pm ET
by Excremental Health of Stealth Evacuation
Broom handle up priest?
Never have. I'm Protestant
so couldn't care less.
Haiku # 62335, February 20, 2019 2:35 pm ET
by You have weird fantasies
Ever fucked a priest
Up the ass with a flaming
Broooooooooooomhandle?
Haiku # 62334, February 20, 2019 12:52 pm ET
by Brooooooooooooooomhandle of Yodeling
Nothing wrong with that.
I once sold uranium
to some Amish priests.

It was a good trade.
Enriched uranium for
some strawberry jam.

I was curious,
but didn't want to ask what
they wanted it for.
Haiku # 62333, February 20, 2019 7:15 am ET
by df
Uranus yum yum
Russian dressing on the side
Way horrorshow good
Haiku # 62332, February 20, 2019 5:09 am ET
by Sputnik
Trump is honest Abe
Compared to the evil Bitch
That sold uranium

To the Russian thugs
While slimy rat Bill Clinton
Took their rubles

That's not collusion
To Democrat Bolsheviks
The craven grifters-

Russian collusion
Yes it happened GD right
Under Demon rats

Please Tell Vlad, kind Sir.
Said Obola the jive @$$
I am flexible.
Haiku # 62331, February 20, 2019 2:27 am ET
by Ugly Hombre of Kalifornia
Arriving home,drunk
Twenty minutes spent farting
Ahhhh...this is the life
Haiku # 62330, February 20, 2019 12:21 am ET
by Drunk of Floor
Kleptomaniac
Out there on the dance floor now
Stealing all my moves
Haiku # 62329, February 20, 2019 12:14 am ET
by Hottie of TORONTO
The wedding is off
You said you would find a job
Stop writing poems
Haiku # 62328, February 19, 2019 10:53 pm ET
by Bride not to be of Aisle
Horseradish is not usually considered when deciding on flavors for cake frosting. Sometimes you get a hankering you just can not explain. Trust me, it is the Devil.
Haiku # 62327, February 19, 2019 10:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Robotic sex slave
Original packaging
New and in the box
Haiku # 62326, February 19, 2019 10:41 pm ET
by Ron of Box
Oh, how the crowd cheered
That's why no one noticed me
Balcony B.M.
Haiku # 62325, February 19, 2019 10:05 pm ET
by Wiper of Playbill
I have an idea.
All organic zombie strips.
Wriggling jerky.
Haiku # 62324, February 19, 2019 7:52 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker, Esq.
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