Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

Nothing wrong with that.
I once sold uranium
to some Amish priests.

It was a good trade.
Enriched uranium for
some strawberry jam.

I was curious,
but didn't want to ask what
they wanted it for.
Haiku # 62333, February 20, 2019 7:15 am ET
by df
Uranus yum yum
Russian dressing on the side
Way horrorshow good
Haiku # 62332, February 20, 2019 5:09 am ET
by Sputnik
Trump is honest Abe
Compared to the evil Bitch
That sold uranium

To the Russian thugs
While slimy rat Bill Clinton
Took their rubles

That's not collusion
To Democrat Bolsheviks
The craven grifters-

Russian collusion
Yes it happened GD right
Under Demon rats

Please Tell Vlad, kind Sir.
Said Obola the jive @$$
I am flexible.
Haiku # 62331, February 20, 2019 2:27 am ET
by Ugly Hombre of Kalifornia
Arriving home,drunk
Twenty minutes spent farting
Ahhhh...this is the life
Haiku # 62330, February 20, 2019 12:21 am ET
by Drunk of Floor
Kleptomaniac
Out there on the dance floor now
Stealing all my moves
Haiku # 62329, February 20, 2019 12:14 am ET
by Hottie of TORONTO
The wedding is off
You said you would find a job
Stop writing poems
Haiku # 62328, February 19, 2019 10:53 pm ET
by Bride not to be of Aisle
Horseradish is not usually considered when deciding on flavors for cake frosting. Sometimes you get a hankering you just can not explain. Trust me, it is the Devil.
Haiku # 62327, February 19, 2019 10:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Robotic sex slave
Original packaging
New and in the box
Haiku # 62326, February 19, 2019 10:41 pm ET
by Ron of Box
Oh, how the crowd cheered
That's why no one noticed me
Balcony B.M.
Haiku # 62325, February 19, 2019 10:05 pm ET
by Wiper of Playbill
I have an idea.
All organic zombie strips.
Wriggling jerky.
Haiku # 62324, February 19, 2019 7:52 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker, Esq.
Preach it, Wong Lofan.
This is war against zombies.
Haiku our weapon.
Haiku # 62323, February 19, 2019 7:41 pm ET
by The hordes of the undead advance upon us rank upon rank, I smell the stench of the grave, behold the dull gaze of their dead eye
Don't diss Orangeman...
Orange Savior Daddy Trump
give fire to man.
Haiku # 62322, February 19, 2019 7:33 pm ET
by Exalt the Holy Name of Donald of Vengeance is Mine Sayeth TRUMP
Indian maidens
Chew yuca. Spit out wet paste
to ferment. Home brew.
Haiku # 62321, February 19, 2019 7:29 pm ET
by Amazonian Beer of Bare Amazonicas
The eaters of paste
Unceremoniously
Thrown in wastebasket
Haiku # 62320, February 19, 2019 6:51 pm ET
by Your Teacher of Nicotine Fit
He's small potatoes
Just look for the Orange Clown
There's your criminal
Haiku # 62319, February 19, 2019 5:19 pm ET
by Too obvious
And the fake news shills
Jumped on the liars tall tale
And hollered like hell

Masterful liars
CNN,NBC-all
Spew proven bull chit

Egg on their faces
They care not a GD whit
And will keep lying,
Haiku # 62318, February 19, 2019 4:49 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Another liar
Click. Oompa Loomp mugshot
Soon will bend for soap
Haiku # 62317, February 19, 2019 4:42 pm ET
by Orange is the new of Orange
Clown Jussie Smollett.
No one cares that you are gay
Or that you are black

The law only cares
If you are a false liar chump
Equal under law.

So- can you dig it?
If you made a false statement
You will go to jail
Haiku # 62316, February 19, 2019 4:32 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Benjamin Franklin
You invented the hard on?
Fist bumping you, bro
Haiku # 62315, February 19, 2019 4:29 pm ET
by Woody of Philadelphia
Pleasant side effects
Daily dose of boner bills
Increased handsomeness
Haiku # 62314, February 19, 2019 4:25 pm ET
by Mirror Mirror of On the wall
I'm not sure how we will get to the next poem. Sometimes it does not possible that one could appear. A pleasant surprise for all to see another gem.
Haiku # 62312, February 19, 2019 12:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Since I was a kid
Grooved to Steely Dan
Mondegreen Gold mine
Haiku # 62311, February 19, 2019 9:55 am ET
by Starkitten of PNW
I love Steely Dan.
Write a haiku about them . . .
Yeah. That's what I'll do.
Haiku # 62310, February 19, 2019 8:28 am ET
by Donald Becker of Walter Fagen
Fish eyeballs for bait
We will reel in Moby Dick
Pan fry the bastard
Haiku # 62309, February 18, 2019 11:51 pm ET
by Captain of Sea
That is when the fists started flying. You can imagine how that one went.
Haiku # 62308, February 18, 2019 11:46 pm ET
by Bro
Hawaii was my first night out of legal age. I injested enough pineapples and psychedelics to knock out an entire commune. Only had one legitimate alcoholic drink and that
Haiku # 62307, February 18, 2019 11:45 pm ET
by Bro
I think I know you
Did you work in Alaska?
If not, it
Haiku # 62306, February 18, 2019 11:42 pm ET
by Hi
And the circus tent
Ok, those are my stretch pants
Off to the next town
Haiku # 62305, February 18, 2019 9:05 pm ET
by Send in the clowns of Don
I stand corrected
Those bearded ladies I saw
That was a mirror
Haiku # 62304, February 18, 2019 9:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm no fuckin' snitch.
Neighbors could have dead bodies.
I won't tell the pigs.
Haiku # 62303, February 18, 2019 7:10 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Fuck Da Police!
Cooperation.
Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip.
Uh huh, yip yip yip.

Reminiscing of
the good old days when only
Bird could see Snuffy.

That pinball machine
counting to twelve was a trip.
Uncle Bob's acid.

That explains a lot.
I need to go to Cali
where the good drugs are.
Haiku # 62302, February 18, 2019 7:08 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, the incredibly old and decrepit.
Remember to call the police and inform them of your neighbors. It doesn
Haiku # 62301, February 18, 2019 3:41 pm ET
by Remember of Make that call
Open sesame
Too late the seed is in your
Sesame seed buns
Haiku # 62300, February 18, 2019 3:24 pm ET
by The pleasure is mine of Brought to you by the Big Letter O
Alien morsels.
Chocolate not of this world.
Saved by a monster.

I'm quite new to this.
Never had my ass eaten.
Same time tomorrow?

Bring Bert and Ernie.
But you can have all the chips.
Alien love seeds.
Haiku # 62299, February 18, 2019 2:49 pm ET
by df of Please don't impregnate me.
Standing room only
It
Haiku # 62298, February 18, 2019 1:59 pm ET
by The big-O of Circus tent
Bearded ladies sashaying past my circus tent. Not to boast, but it is true I make a living traveling from city to town displaying my enormous member. I have just finished polishing the business end of things and once everyone is seated and tickets have been collected......
Haiku # 62297, February 18, 2019 1:13 pm ET
by Employed
Bearded ladies sashaying past my circus tent. Not to boast, but it
Haiku # 62296, February 18, 2019 1:12 pm ET
by Employed
I can
Haiku # 62295, February 18, 2019 1:05 pm ET
by Grizzle Dean of Mountains
Down here on the floor
Say, you have such shapely gams.
Blessed with three of them!
Haiku # 62294, February 18, 2019 1:03 pm ET
by Leg Man of Floor
Blue Furry Hard On
Cookie Monster Arous ed
Me Love a Chocolate Chip

Asshole not too far
Phantom Tollbooth Cookie Hoke
Use blue fur poker

Me glad you enjoy
Me eat chocolate chip
Eat smelly brown dough
Haiku # 62293, February 18, 2019 12:06 pm ET
by Cookie Monster of Deep in ass
This Murkan agrees.
I'd never heard of Smollett
till this fiasco.
Haiku # 62292, February 18, 2019 10:56 am ET
by Nigerian Villain of Fake Noose
It is not fake news,
but it's sure irrelevant.
That's what 'Murkins love.
Haiku # 62291, February 18, 2019 10:26 am ET
by df
Poor Jussie Smollett.
Had SO much going for him:
Black, gay, hated Trump. . .
Haiku # 62290, February 18, 2019 9:57 am ET
by Either a hero or a victim of social injustice HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA cowfart
A chocolate chip.
Implanted deep in my ass.
Those damn aliens.
Haiku # 62289, February 18, 2019 9:03 am ET
by df
You will order lunch
Drop to your knees in the line
Both arms outstretched

Demand pickle juice
If you are able to speak
Ask for a refill
Haiku # 62288, February 18, 2019 7:23 am ET
by High AF Noon
I've seen the Gill Man
Shapeshifting Reptillian
Casual sunset
Haiku # 62287, February 18, 2019 7:16 am ET
by His reflection of In a door
Where did I leave off..oh yes, and furthermore, you will be asked to walk away from all you have ever known. The unfamiliar will be the new familiar. Don't bother to analyze what you are becoming. There is no turning back or chance for repair. Your chip was implanted decades ago.
Haiku # 62286, February 18, 2019 7:13 am ET
by I know of You know
I saw that movie
Delivery guy left tip
Bobbitt Residence
Haiku # 62285, February 18, 2019 7:08 am ET
by Delivery in 6 inches or less of Or it is free
That's sure is funny.
Pizza's exactly what came.
Then so did your wife.
Haiku # 62284, February 18, 2019 2:51 am ET
by df
Forget common sense
Reptilian orchestration
You can't escape this
Haiku # 62283, February 18, 2019 12:52 am ET
by The Plan of For you
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