Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

I have an idea.
All organic zombie strips.
Wriggling jerky.
Haiku # 62324, February 19, 2019 7:52 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker, Esq.
Preach it, Wong Lofan.
This is war against zombies.
Haiku our weapon.
Haiku # 62323, February 19, 2019 7:41 pm ET
by The hordes of the undead advance upon us rank upon rank, I smell the stench of the grave, behold the dull gaze of their dead eye
Don't diss Orangeman...
Orange Savior Daddy Trump
give fire to man.
Haiku # 62322, February 19, 2019 7:33 pm ET
by Exalt the Holy Name of Donald of Vengeance is Mine Sayeth TRUMP
Indian maidens
Chew yuca. Spit out wet paste
to ferment. Home brew.
Haiku # 62321, February 19, 2019 7:29 pm ET
by Amazonian Beer of Bare Amazonicas
The eaters of paste
Unceremoniously
Thrown in wastebasket
Haiku # 62320, February 19, 2019 6:51 pm ET
by Your Teacher of Nicotine Fit
He's small potatoes
Just look for the Orange Clown
There's your criminal
Haiku # 62319, February 19, 2019 5:19 pm ET
by Too obvious
And the fake news shills
Jumped on the liars tall tale
And hollered like hell

Masterful liars
CNN,NBC-all
Spew proven bull chit

Egg on their faces
They care not a GD whit
And will keep lying,
Haiku # 62318, February 19, 2019 4:49 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Another liar
Click. Oompa Loomp mugshot
Soon will bend for soap
Haiku # 62317, February 19, 2019 4:42 pm ET
by Orange is the new of Orange
Clown Jussie Smollett.
No one cares that you are gay
Or that you are black

The law only cares
If you are a false liar chump
Equal under law.

So- can you dig it?
If you made a false statement
You will go to jail
Haiku # 62316, February 19, 2019 4:32 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Benjamin Franklin
You invented the hard on?
Fist bumping you, bro
Haiku # 62315, February 19, 2019 4:29 pm ET
by Woody of Philadelphia
Pleasant side effects
Daily dose of boner bills
Increased handsomeness
Haiku # 62314, February 19, 2019 4:25 pm ET
by Mirror Mirror of On the wall
I'm not sure how we will get to the next poem. Sometimes it does not possible that one could appear. A pleasant surprise for all to see another gem.
Haiku # 62312, February 19, 2019 12:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Since I was a kid
Grooved to Steely Dan
Mondegreen Gold mine
Haiku # 62311, February 19, 2019 9:55 am ET
by Starkitten of PNW
I love Steely Dan.
Write a haiku about them . . .
Yeah. That's what I'll do.
Haiku # 62310, February 19, 2019 8:28 am ET
by Donald Becker of Walter Fagen
Fish eyeballs for bait
We will reel in Moby Dick
Pan fry the bastard
Haiku # 62309, February 18, 2019 11:51 pm ET
by Captain of Sea
That is when the fists started flying. You can imagine how that one went.
Haiku # 62308, February 18, 2019 11:46 pm ET
by Bro
Hawaii was my first night out of legal age. I injested enough pineapples and psychedelics to knock out an entire commune. Only had one legitimate alcoholic drink and that
Haiku # 62307, February 18, 2019 11:45 pm ET
by Bro
I think I know you
Did you work in Alaska?
If not, it
Haiku # 62306, February 18, 2019 11:42 pm ET
by Hi
And the circus tent
Ok, those are my stretch pants
Off to the next town
Haiku # 62305, February 18, 2019 9:05 pm ET
by Send in the clowns of Don
I stand corrected
Those bearded ladies I saw
That was a mirror
Haiku # 62304, February 18, 2019 9:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm no fuckin' snitch.
Neighbors could have dead bodies.
I won't tell the pigs.
Haiku # 62303, February 18, 2019 7:10 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Fuck Da Police!
Cooperation.
Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip.
Uh huh, yip yip yip.

Reminiscing of
the good old days when only
Bird could see Snuffy.

That pinball machine
counting to twelve was a trip.
Uncle Bob's acid.

That explains a lot.
I need to go to Cali
where the good drugs are.
Haiku # 62302, February 18, 2019 7:08 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, the incredibly old and decrepit.
Remember to call the police and inform them of your neighbors. It doesn
Haiku # 62301, February 18, 2019 3:41 pm ET
by Remember of Make that call
Open sesame
Too late the seed is in your
Sesame seed buns
Haiku # 62300, February 18, 2019 3:24 pm ET
by The pleasure is mine of Brought to you by the Big Letter O
Alien morsels.
Chocolate not of this world.
Saved by a monster.

I'm quite new to this.
Never had my ass eaten.
Same time tomorrow?

Bring Bert and Ernie.
But you can have all the chips.
Alien love seeds.
Haiku # 62299, February 18, 2019 2:49 pm ET
by df of Please don't impregnate me.
Standing room only
It
Haiku # 62298, February 18, 2019 1:59 pm ET
by The big-O of Circus tent
Bearded ladies sashaying past my circus tent. Not to boast, but it is true I make a living traveling from city to town displaying my enormous member. I have just finished polishing the business end of things and once everyone is seated and tickets have been collected......
Haiku # 62297, February 18, 2019 1:13 pm ET
by Employed
Bearded ladies sashaying past my circus tent. Not to boast, but it
Haiku # 62296, February 18, 2019 1:12 pm ET
by Employed
I can
Haiku # 62295, February 18, 2019 1:05 pm ET
by Grizzle Dean of Mountains
Down here on the floor
Say, you have such shapely gams.
Blessed with three of them!
Haiku # 62294, February 18, 2019 1:03 pm ET
by Leg Man of Floor
Blue Furry Hard On
Cookie Monster Arous ed
Me Love a Chocolate Chip

Asshole not too far
Phantom Tollbooth Cookie Hoke
Use blue fur poker

Me glad you enjoy
Me eat chocolate chip
Eat smelly brown dough
Haiku # 62293, February 18, 2019 12:06 pm ET
by Cookie Monster of Deep in ass
This Murkan agrees.
I'd never heard of Smollett
till this fiasco.
Haiku # 62292, February 18, 2019 10:56 am ET
by Nigerian Villain of Fake Noose
It is not fake news,
but it's sure irrelevant.
That's what 'Murkins love.
Haiku # 62291, February 18, 2019 10:26 am ET
by df
Poor Jussie Smollett.
Had SO much going for him:
Black, gay, hated Trump. . .
Haiku # 62290, February 18, 2019 9:57 am ET
by Either a hero or a victim of social injustice HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA cowfart
A chocolate chip.
Implanted deep in my ass.
Those damn aliens.
Haiku # 62289, February 18, 2019 9:03 am ET
by df
You will order lunch
Drop to your knees in the line
Both arms outstretched

Demand pickle juice
If you are able to speak
Ask for a refill
Haiku # 62288, February 18, 2019 7:23 am ET
by High AF Noon
I've seen the Gill Man
Shapeshifting Reptillian
Casual sunset
Haiku # 62287, February 18, 2019 7:16 am ET
by His reflection of In a door
Where did I leave off..oh yes, and furthermore, you will be asked to walk away from all you have ever known. The unfamiliar will be the new familiar. Don't bother to analyze what you are becoming. There is no turning back or chance for repair. Your chip was implanted decades ago.
Haiku # 62286, February 18, 2019 7:13 am ET
by I know of You know
I saw that movie
Delivery guy left tip
Bobbitt Residence
Haiku # 62285, February 18, 2019 7:08 am ET
by Delivery in 6 inches or less of Or it is free
That's sure is funny.
Pizza's exactly what came.
Then so did your wife.
Haiku # 62284, February 18, 2019 2:51 am ET
by df
Forget common sense
Reptilian orchestration
You can't escape this
Haiku # 62283, February 18, 2019 12:52 am ET
by The Plan of For you
in the here and now
It used to be the future
Now it is the past
Haiku # 62282, February 18, 2019 12:50 am ET
by Don't stop of Do it
It incenses me
Hippies foul their bell bottoms
Cow farts are bad, too.
Haiku # 62281, February 18, 2019 12:48 am ET
by Gill Man
Extra thin sliced clit
Not unlike Italian salami
With extra tang
Haiku # 62280, February 18, 2019 12:44 am ET
by Gnu Deli of Somali Somali Baloney
What a lovely world.
Hindus foul their own rivers.
Somalis slice clits.
Haiku # 62279, February 17, 2019 11:28 pm ET
by Multi-Kulti Overdose of YouTube
Forget everything that you were thinking before you learned the truth. It will no longer serve your needs. When the seventeen foot tall robots knock your foot down you will understand what is coming next and it ain't a pizza
Haiku # 62278, February 17, 2019 11:19 pm ET
by Just saying
Except for my own personal reasons I don't think I can do this again but it has to be a great idea for the new law to make the case to be a better source of information about how it is. If you can catch my drift, you know what I want to say about the new world of foolishness and the new law of the republic. We're without any free will and therefore it makes sense to just sit back and relax and focus on eating sleeping and bowel movements
Haiku # 62277, February 17, 2019 11:15 pm ET
by In no particular order
Henceforth you'll be called...
Darth Funtcart, Lord of Savage.
Rise, my apprentice.

Okay, enough fun.
Got to feed my dinosaur.
She's an herbivore.
Haiku # 62276, February 17, 2019 10:39 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker, having delusions of grandure
There are only two,
the master and apprentice.
Starkitten's neither.

Though he's unaware,
Cuntfart is my apprentice.
Shit flows from his pen.

A slow trickle now.
But soon to be a geyser.
Old faithful shit spew.
Haiku # 62275, February 17, 2019 10:32 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker, the endless wellspring of fecal matter, splatter on the platter, you eat and get fatter.
Masturbatory!
Holy schlong shlappers, Batman,
get the Vaseline!
Haiku # 62274, February 17, 2019 10:25 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker, Esq.
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