BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
21 Years
219 Days
58639 Haikus
When the next girl went on stage and spread her legs, it looked exactly like an Arby's roast beef sandwich and smelled similar. The beef they use isn't really beef, but some mystery conglomeration of rejected parts from dog food companies, processed with food coloring and flavors added. Having had friends who worked there made this a known fact and even they wouldn't eat it if it was free. You felt the same about this fur burger displayed in the window stage. Like in those old Life cereal commercials, "Give it to VHS, he'll eat anything."
Haiku #57113, by Anonymous Poet
August 6, 2017 3:36 am ET

She wore a t-shirt that said "Vampyres suck better!" The misspelled vampire in large red Gothic lettering. She was the kind of girl you'd forbid your daughter to have as a friend and encourage your son to take advantage of and then dump. It was wrong to see her naked, but every politician, lawyer, and preacher from 5 towns away was also viewing her young naked body, so how wrong could it be?
Haiku #57112, by Anonymous Poet
August 6, 2017 3:31 am ET

Digital folk art
Is that what this place might be?
That sounds about right
Haiku #57111, by Primitive Lifeform
August 5, 2017 8:09 pm ET

of course if you TRY
then people are like yeah um
i got chips to eat....

um.....bye for now
Haiku #57110, by vhs
August 5, 2017 7:20 pm ET

trying to get some
folks from diverse places to
say hi and post stuff
Haiku #57109, by vhs
August 5, 2017 7:06 pm ET

hmm well you know i
always wanted to date a
gothic babe of the week...
Haiku #57108, by vhs
August 5, 2017 7:02 pm ET

vhs rolls eyes
dvd shrugs his shoulders
a man can dream though
Haiku #57107, by a man
August 5, 2017 6:46 pm ET

a dream is just a
dream a sigh is just a sigh
no kisses though kay?
Haiku #57106, by vhs
August 5, 2017 5:40 pm ET

A dream you dream alone is only a dream

A dream you dream together is reality
Haiku #57105, by dvd
August 5, 2017 5:36 pm ET

oh wait, no no no
you got that right hmm?
Haiku #57104, by vhs
August 5, 2017 4:36 pm ET

Haiku #57103, by vhs
August 5, 2017 4:34 pm ET

Haiku #57102, by gooback of the future
August 5, 2017 4:09 pm ET

you put a sandwich
up in the window at work
and i thought it was

my lunch, which proved to
me if i am hungry I'm
going why does this

fried chicken tender
sandwich taste like fried
cod? lesson, i can

make detailed worlds and
poems but i need a basic
lesson in foodstuffs
Haiku #57101, by vhs
August 4, 2017 7:53 pm ET

You know the universe is chaos
But chaos plays favorites

"Jesus Does The Dishes"
- Wingnut Dishwashers Union
Haiku #57100, by dvd
August 4, 2017 7:42 pm ET

retail spaces once
alive with currency and
clerks close 1/2 off and

abandoned malls all
become new explorer pathways
empty pay phone spots
Haiku #57099, by vhs
August 4, 2017 6:48 pm ET

Admiring teachings
Voiceless song without support
Blessings of wonder

Haiku #57098, by dvd
August 4, 2017 6:09 pm ET

Colorful nightmares
Cannibalism not fun
I am for dinner
Haiku #57097, by dvd
August 4, 2017 5:17 pm ET

the cat just opened
the door to the office proof
cats rule the world now
Haiku #57096, by vhs
August 3, 2017 7:58 pm ET

can't do much about
the past, that is why some say
focus on here, now
Haiku #57095, by vhs
August 3, 2017 6:58 pm ET

some roads if they get
traveled at night you know those
phantom hitchhikers

ufos, black eyed
kids, the occasional late
night espresso place

at my age i miss
10 shot espresso drinks
Haiku #57094, by vhs
August 3, 2017 6:42 pm ET

Lost in my own mind
I walk the vacant roadways
I see evil things
Haiku #57093, by S.Milly
August 3, 2017 2:08 am ET

for poodles is quite silly
until you fuck one.
Haiku #57092, by Anonymous Poet
August 3, 2017 2:07 am ET

Not all dust is created equal
Not all movies will get a sequel
To be reborn, crying
To tell the truth, it feels a lot like dying
Haiku #57091, by adam ben adam
August 2, 2017 10:30 pm ET

A bird with broken wings
Building a nest softly
Encouraged by the notion
Bones can heal
Haiku #57090, by Olea europea
August 2, 2017 10:27 pm ET

Echoes in between
Holding breath against the waves
Armies march lively

Haiku #57089, by dvd
August 2, 2017 10:25 pm ET

Leaving of a wish
Rising sun beckons me close
Boats drift in the light

Haiku #57088, by dvd
August 2, 2017 10:24 pm ET

ashes to ashes
babe don't matter where you are
we all go someday

hate it, love it or
not, jokes, irony, pious...
we are all just dust
Haiku #57087, by The Codfather of somewhere in vhs's tape colletion
August 2, 2017 5:26 pm ET

Word "America"
Slogan now to improve sales
Empty Budweisers

All your tax dollars
Pay for picnics and healthcare
"D","R" play Doctor
Haiku #57086, by Prophet of The Worldwide Landfill
August 2, 2017 8:21 am ET

Having been a successful neurosurgeon for for over 12 years now, Dr. Robert Cartworth III decided that he hated his career and silently wished he'd stuck to his original plans of becoming world champion Atari Asteroids player and getting stoned all day. He supposed it wasn't too late and decided to give it a try. Thus he moved to Oregon, bought a near-antique Asteroids arcade game, a hydroponic grow room, and a VW van for late night trips to the nearest convenience store to curb the munchies. The older games did not have "pause" buttons and so the only way to play was to rack up as many "lives" as possible so you could die a few dozen times while taking a bathroom break. He played for 49 hours straight, having an unfair advantage from the pharmaceuticals he was able to acquire (he still had his medical license). He beat the previous high score world record.
He had a city-wide party to celebrate this life-victory and it bankrupted him. He made the money back several times over by selling weed. He retired happy, surrounded by good weed, pizza, beer, and young girls who needed a place to stay and a good drug connection.
Haiku #57085, by Anonymous Poet
August 2, 2017 12:07 am ET

prophets will profit
while fighting evil doers
and the IRS
Haiku #57084, by Primitive Lifeform
August 1, 2017 10:48 pm ET

why are "prophets" trying
to sell the message time
is short, buy right now

this is my faith they're
selling, not the stock exchange
Dow Jones Jesus Christ????
Haiku #57083, by vhs
August 1, 2017 1:02 pm ET

putting things off seems
to be the story of my
life up to right now
Haiku #57082, by vhs
July 31, 2017 6:57 pm ET

The eyes of a fractured mind staring wildly from under a mop of stringy gray grease, a home for many species and dense nutrients. Crumbs from a meal weeks ago or someone's lost poodle squirm in a logic defying beard of rainbow colors but how and why? He speaks soothingly to no one. You can only imagine his teeth that hide behind a mossy cover of mustache, a gaping hidden cavern perhaps hiding treasure but no one dares.

A woman with ridiculous breasts passes by.
Children laugh in the distance.
A briefcase of proven conspiracy theories and a dark suit blatantly exists.
Never in my life have I wanted to be someone else so badly as the old man makes some inhuman sound and scratches his armpit.
Haiku #57081, by Anonymous Poet
July 30, 2017 11:42 pm ET

well you know gardens
can be useful for that and
farmers markets hmm?
Haiku #57080, by vhs
July 30, 2017 7:30 pm ET

I'd like something to eat that's not made in a factory.
Is it possible?
Haiku #57079, by Anonymous Poet
July 30, 2017 9:41 am ET

some kid buzzed by the
house on his dirt bike too fast
he may buzz no more...
Haiku #57078, by vhs
July 29, 2017 5:42 pm ET

twas an adventure
but the hobbit comes home and
settles back in with

a notebook in hand
to make some "red book" for some
Tolkien to find out
Haiku #57077, by vhs
July 29, 2017 5:41 pm ET

over two hundred
bowling greatness I wish for
please, gods of the pins
Haiku #57076, by Primitive Lifeform of Nearby Planet
July 29, 2017 9:26 am ET

Hi there, I found your web site by the use of Google while searching for a similar matter, your site came up, it seems to be good. I've bookmarked it in my google bookmarks. gbddfedddfgceddd
Haiku #57075, by Anonymous Poet of USA
July 29, 2017 5:03 am ET

I want to live near a golf course where only the elite rich play.
I would hunt them and drag them into the bushes, then carry them home.
Not too often... maybe every two years or so.
I would turn them into "artisan" Hungarian sausage and serve them to their friends at the corner cafe and bakery.
Eventually I would be caught, oh but the look on their friends faces would be sooooo worth it.
And what an awesome collection of golf balls I would have!
Haiku #57074, by Anonymous Poet
July 28, 2017 10:31 pm ET

Huh huh huh... my wiener expanded.

Heh heh heh... yeah yeah, me too.
Haiku #57073, by Anonymous Poet
July 28, 2017 10:26 pm ET

we are entering
a time of what can be said
will be expanded

but it will not be
always for the best but it
needed to be done
Haiku #57072, by vhs
July 28, 2017 8:58 pm ET

at the end of the
day the mind recalls a bit
of inner data

and forms surreal night
cinema for our pleasure
and we wake up to

a world more unreal
Haiku #57071, by vhs
July 28, 2017 7:34 pm ET

way too much caffeine
and not enough nutrients
Haiku #57070, by jgoines
July 28, 2017 5:49 pm ET

i just walked into a room
full of parakeets
morgan freeman is explaining
how a universe made of cheese works
jupiter is like what the fuck
i generally avoid people
but i'm really bad at it
introverted and extroverted
Haiku #57069, by dvd
July 28, 2017 5:39 pm ET

Big snake in my head
That tells me to do bad things
But I still have fun
Haiku #57068, by alfamike
July 28, 2017 5:20 pm ET

Shadows without end
Sweet chorus to leave once more
Silence falls troubled
Haiku #57067, by Olea europaea
July 28, 2017 5:18 pm ET

Tropical city dust and blinding smog sweating charcoal with maggots freshly laid in mosquito bites meningitis encephalitis elephantiasis hippity-hop testicular transport processed cheese hydrogenated shortening sandwich animal balloon veins and concrete arteries. Caffeine. Lady boys nauseate.
Jiggling gelatinous injections. Cannibalistic swine pork back cubes blood on a stick chicken feet entree.

Haiku #57066, by Anonymous Poet
July 28, 2017 3:46 am ET

invasions bring cash
credit, etcetera but
new england, maine much

so is given to
relief when the tourists go
home for the winter

shovel roof for say
15 bucks, i had that story
told to me Tuesday
Haiku #57065, by vhs
July 27, 2017 5:02 pm ET

you know there's some form
of beauty in ugliness the
spider's webs though of

"death" were weaved and they
make sexy patterns for hot goth
girls outfits they wear
Haiku #57064, by vhs
July 27, 2017 3:13 pm ET