BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
28 Days
and
61249 Haikus
later...
Having been a successful neurosurgeon for for over 12 years now, Dr. Robert Cartworth III decided that he hated his career and silently wished he'd stuck to his original plans of becoming world champion Atari Asteroids player and getting stoned all day. He supposed it wasn't too late and decided to give it a try. Thus he moved to Oregon, bought a near-antique Asteroids arcade game, a hydroponic grow room, and a VW van for late night trips to the nearest convenience store to curb the munchies. The older games did not have "pause" buttons and so the only way to play was to rack up as many "lives" as possible so you could die a few dozen times while taking a bathroom break. He played for 49 hours straight, having an unfair advantage from the pharmaceuticals he was able to acquire (he still had his medical license). He beat the previous high score world record.
He had a city-wide party to celebrate this life-victory and it bankrupted him. He made the money back several times over by selling weed. He retired happy, surrounded by good weed, pizza, beer, and young girls who needed a place to stay and a good drug connection.
Haiku #57085, by Anonymous Poet
August 2, 2017 12:07 am ET

prophets will profit
while fighting evil doers
and the IRS
Haiku #57084, by Primitive Lifeform
August 1, 2017 10:48 pm ET

why are "prophets" trying
to sell the message time
is short, buy right now

this is my faith they're
selling, not the stock exchange
Dow Jones Jesus Christ????
Haiku #57083, by vhs
August 1, 2017 1:02 pm ET

putting things off seems
to be the story of my
life up to right now
Haiku #57082, by vhs
July 31, 2017 6:57 pm ET

The eyes of a fractured mind staring wildly from under a mop of stringy gray grease, a home for many species and dense nutrients. Crumbs from a meal weeks ago or someone's lost poodle squirm in a logic defying beard of rainbow colors but how and why? He speaks soothingly to no one. You can only imagine his teeth that hide behind a mossy cover of mustache, a gaping hidden cavern perhaps hiding treasure but no one dares.

A woman with ridiculous breasts passes by.
Children laugh in the distance.
A briefcase of proven conspiracy theories and a dark suit blatantly exists.
Never in my life have I wanted to be someone else so badly as the old man makes some inhuman sound and scratches his armpit.
Haiku #57081, by Anonymous Poet
July 30, 2017 11:42 pm ET

well you know gardens
can be useful for that and
farmers markets hmm?
Haiku #57080, by vhs
July 30, 2017 7:30 pm ET

I'd like something to eat that's not made in a factory.
Is it possible?
Haiku #57079, by Anonymous Poet
July 30, 2017 9:41 am ET

some kid buzzed by the
house on his dirt bike too fast
he may buzz no more...
Haiku #57078, by vhs
July 29, 2017 5:42 pm ET

twas an adventure
but the hobbit comes home and
settles back in with

a notebook in hand
to make some "red book" for some
Tolkien to find out
Haiku #57077, by vhs
July 29, 2017 5:41 pm ET

over two hundred
bowling greatness I wish for
please, gods of the pins
Haiku #57076, by Primitive Lifeform of Nearby Planet
July 29, 2017 9:26 am ET

Hi there, I found your web site by the use of Google while searching for a similar matter, your site came up, it seems to be good. I've bookmarked it in my google bookmarks. gbddfedddfgceddd
Haiku #57075, by Anonymous Poet of USA
July 29, 2017 5:03 am ET

I want to live near a golf course where only the elite rich play.
I would hunt them and drag them into the bushes, then carry them home.
Not too often... maybe every two years or so.
I would turn them into "artisan" Hungarian sausage and serve them to their friends at the corner cafe and bakery.
Eventually I would be caught, oh but the look on their friends faces would be sooooo worth it.
And what an awesome collection of golf balls I would have!
Haiku #57074, by Anonymous Poet
July 28, 2017 10:31 pm ET

Huh huh huh... my wiener expanded.

Heh heh heh... yeah yeah, me too.
Haiku #57073, by Anonymous Poet
July 28, 2017 10:26 pm ET

we are entering
a time of what can be said
will be expanded

but it will not be
always for the best but it
needed to be done
Haiku #57072, by vhs
July 28, 2017 8:58 pm ET

at the end of the
day the mind recalls a bit
of inner data

and forms surreal night
cinema for our pleasure
and we wake up to

a world more unreal
Haiku #57071, by vhs
July 28, 2017 7:34 pm ET

way too much caffeine
and not enough nutrients
civilization
Haiku #57070, by jgoines
July 28, 2017 5:49 pm ET

i just walked into a room
full of parakeets
morgan freeman is explaining
how a universe made of cheese works
jupiter is like what the fuck
i generally avoid people
but i'm really bad at it
introverted and extroverted
Haiku #57069, by dvd
July 28, 2017 5:39 pm ET

Big snake in my head
That tells me to do bad things
But I still have fun
Haiku #57068, by alfamike
July 28, 2017 5:20 pm ET

Shadows without end
Sweet chorus to leave once more
Silence falls troubled
Haiku #57067, by Olea europaea
July 28, 2017 5:18 pm ET

Tropical city dust and blinding smog sweating charcoal with maggots freshly laid in mosquito bites meningitis encephalitis elephantiasis hippity-hop testicular transport processed cheese hydrogenated shortening sandwich animal balloon veins and concrete arteries. Caffeine. Lady boys nauseate.
Jiggling gelatinous injections. Cannibalistic swine pork back cubes blood on a stick chicken feet entree.

12-Monkeys.
Haiku #57066, by Anonymous Poet
July 28, 2017 3:46 am ET

invasions bring cash
credit, etcetera but
new england, maine much

so is given to
relief when the tourists go
home for the winter

shovel roof for say
15 bucks, i had that story
told to me Tuesday
Haiku #57065, by vhs
July 27, 2017 5:02 pm ET

you know there's some form
of beauty in ugliness the
spider's webs though of

"death" were weaved and they
make sexy patterns for hot goth
girls outfits they wear
Haiku #57064, by vhs
July 27, 2017 3:13 pm ET

Selective sponges.
Beauty washes over us.
But filth permeates.
Haiku #57063, by df
July 27, 2017 2:08 am ET

The absence of sun
Will be the demise of the
Flocks of cone eaters
Haiku #57062, by Dig
July 26, 2017 9:00 pm ET

In the heart of fate
I feel the intensity
Sweeping me under
Haiku #57061, by Dig of Camden
July 26, 2017 8:41 pm ET

i pop in when i
have time, made a friend aware
of here, he does too

tried to get others
I have this weird faith thing you
see, makes me do stuff

like "post poems here"
Haiku #57060, by vhs
July 26, 2017 8:37 pm ET

I'm not a patient
man by any means I am
disappointed in

the zeitgeist of those
who seem lost in perpetual
digital extrovert

culture, lost children
never knowing how to have
a real line of talk

then again I paid way too much attention to that book called Reclaiming Conversation and quite frankly this whole website is an ongoing conversation
Haiku #57059, by vhs
July 26, 2017 8:14 pm ET

that's really good df
Haiku #57058, by vhs
July 26, 2017 7:45 pm ET

They speak with their eyebrows.
They eat aborted fowl.
They sweat acetic acid.
Karaoke mating call.
Beauty skin deep.
Staph infections and leprosy.
Nothing underneath.
Assimilation of advanced cultures is not progress, not civilized, not sophisticated, not art.
Consumed and vomited caviar is still just barf.
Consumed and vomited barf is hideous.
Assimilation of consumed cells, evolving into swine.
Sodomizing monotremes extremes FB memes.
Dried fish with dried maggots breath freshener.
Sewage accumulates, swimming in refuse.
3rd world decay.

Humans live on islands. Filth live in cities.
Apathy must die.
Haiku #57057, by df
July 25, 2017 9:38 pm ET

a clone army of vhs
under the command of vhs
given a mission...

a version of star trek
starring clones of vhs
as every character
Haiku #57056, by dvd
July 25, 2017 7:41 pm ET

hmm i often tease
a co worker for dumping
ketchup on her shoes

and i ask her hey
you wanna ketchup with me
here later on then?
Haiku #57055, by vhs
July 25, 2017 12:23 pm ET

A single fat drop
Dangling from a red tip
I need more ketchup
Haiku #57054, by Mauzy of Canada
July 25, 2017 12:19 pm ET

if someone cloned me
i wonder if i would get sick
of me talking

over and over
about whatever it was
i talk on and on...
Haiku #57053, by vhs
July 25, 2017 12:00 pm ET

who needs a net to
catch the image when you can
just go out the front

door and see it one's
self, analogue, logged, logs, birds
down the hill blue fields
Haiku #57052, by vhs of blueberry land
July 25, 2017 11:46 am ET

your net connection
so slow can't even download
a single gif file
Haiku #57051, by spambot of automated slam poetry
July 24, 2017 4:39 pm ET

a plague of spam
bots decends across the world
for some reason if

they were all good at
this sort of thing there'd be spam
bot poetry websites
Haiku #57050, by vhs
July 23, 2017 7:59 pm ET

i don't know what's worse
the disaster or the thought
and waiting for it

we can't worry but
there's always this sort of weird
prepper's bug some folks

get from times like these
with people holding signs with
repent on their boards
Haiku #57049, by vhs
July 23, 2017 7:11 pm ET

Wolf howls disturbed
Trouble brews with no answers
Candles sway truthful
Haiku #57048, by alfamike
July 23, 2017 12:22 pm ET

That's kind of...
E-scat-ological
Wouldn't you say, vhs?
Haiku #57047, by dvd
July 23, 2017 12:07 pm ET

I'm feeling run into
the ground by the overwhelming
sensation all the

sensationalism and so
called "prophecy" someone shoved
Slavoj Zizek up

my ass and I'm trying
to shit out a philosophy volume
of the end of the

world in three farts
Haiku #57046, by vhs
July 22, 2017 7:56 pm ET

and some guy thinks that
hypnosis has stuck some kind
of trigger in his

mind he can't get out
and he isn't sure what it is
just an undone feeling
Haiku #57045, by vhs
July 22, 2017 7:52 pm ET

i want to do some
innovative stuff this
guy wants to post fart

and masturbation jokes
i cant come here and my God
anyone i ask doesn't

show up except a
good friend who gets tired of
this shit fart damn joke

stuff and it's not the
first Death by Dimitris
Lyacos who i wanted

to email about this
website and i don't expect
to hear from him now
Haiku #57044, by vhs
July 22, 2017 7:50 pm ET

some people seem to think
the best thing to do is walk
away, there's times though to

get the bulldozer
ready for the obvious
Hyperspace ByPass
Haiku #57043, by vhs
July 22, 2017 7:42 pm ET

cafeteria fast food
fight, name calling and other
games of the damned man

expressing inner child
Haiku #57042, by vhs
July 22, 2017 7:38 pm ET

Nice and great [url=http://www.forskolinfuel-reviews.com/phen375]phen375[/url]
Haiku #57041, by Phen375 of Usa
July 22, 2017 2:55 am ET

I sucked your mom's dick
while fighting five porpoises
in South Alaska
Haiku #57040, by Minisuperbraxton
July 22, 2017 2:51 am ET

listen, just shut the hell
up, find Ford Prefect and have
a drink and take a

ride on a Vogon ship
do not get me writing "Vogon poetry"
think i am bad now...
Haiku #57039, by vhs
July 21, 2017 9:34 pm ET

we also waste time with
those who think life is meaningless
I might say fuck it

and go ahead and
post whatever i will post
and keep posting thus
Haiku #57038, by vhs
July 21, 2017 9:31 pm ET

yes i had a thought
you were oh well I'm going
to Hell anyways

we HAVE had these long
drawn out convos for years
i still stand and stand
Haiku #57037, by vhs
July 21, 2017 9:29 pm ET

I'll try to make sure
to ask housekeeping to use
bleach if you ever

take a room where i
once worked, a LOT of bleach
in fact, don't scare the

dogs thank you
Haiku #57036, by vhs
July 21, 2017 9:26 pm ET