BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
72 Days
61793 Haikus
I want to live near a golf course where only the elite rich play.
I would hunt them and drag them into the bushes, then carry them home.
Not too often... maybe every two years or so.
I would turn them into "artisan" Hungarian sausage and serve them to their friends at the corner cafe and bakery.
Eventually I would be caught, oh but the look on their friends faces would be sooooo worth it.
And what an awesome collection of golf balls I would have!
Haiku #57074, by Anonymous Poet
July 28, 2017 10:31 pm ET

Huh huh huh... my wiener expanded.

Heh heh heh... yeah yeah, me too.
Haiku #57073, by Anonymous Poet
July 28, 2017 10:26 pm ET

we are entering
a time of what can be said
will be expanded

but it will not be
always for the best but it
needed to be done
Haiku #57072, by vhs
July 28, 2017 8:58 pm ET

at the end of the
day the mind recalls a bit
of inner data

and forms surreal night
cinema for our pleasure
and we wake up to

a world more unreal
Haiku #57071, by vhs
July 28, 2017 7:34 pm ET

way too much caffeine
and not enough nutrients
Haiku #57070, by jgoines
July 28, 2017 5:49 pm ET

i just walked into a room
full of parakeets
morgan freeman is explaining
how a universe made of cheese works
jupiter is like what the fuck
i generally avoid people
but i'm really bad at it
introverted and extroverted
Haiku #57069, by dvd
July 28, 2017 5:39 pm ET

Big snake in my head
That tells me to do bad things
But I still have fun
Haiku #57068, by alfamike
July 28, 2017 5:20 pm ET

Shadows without end
Sweet chorus to leave once more
Silence falls troubled
Haiku #57067, by Olea europaea
July 28, 2017 5:18 pm ET

Tropical city dust and blinding smog sweating charcoal with maggots freshly laid in mosquito bites meningitis encephalitis elephantiasis hippity-hop testicular transport processed cheese hydrogenated shortening sandwich animal balloon veins and concrete arteries. Caffeine. Lady boys nauseate.
Jiggling gelatinous injections. Cannibalistic swine pork back cubes blood on a stick chicken feet entree.

Haiku #57066, by Anonymous Poet
July 28, 2017 3:46 am ET

invasions bring cash
credit, etcetera but
new england, maine much

so is given to
relief when the tourists go
home for the winter

shovel roof for say
15 bucks, i had that story
told to me Tuesday
Haiku #57065, by vhs
July 27, 2017 5:02 pm ET

you know there's some form
of beauty in ugliness the
spider's webs though of

"death" were weaved and they
make sexy patterns for hot goth
girls outfits they wear
Haiku #57064, by vhs
July 27, 2017 3:13 pm ET

Selective sponges.
Beauty washes over us.
But filth permeates.
Haiku #57063, by df
July 27, 2017 2:08 am ET

The absence of sun
Will be the demise of the
Flocks of cone eaters
Haiku #57062, by Dig
July 26, 2017 9:00 pm ET

In the heart of fate
I feel the intensity
Sweeping me under
Haiku #57061, by Dig of Camden
July 26, 2017 8:41 pm ET

i pop in when i
have time, made a friend aware
of here, he does too

tried to get others
I have this weird faith thing you
see, makes me do stuff

like "post poems here"
Haiku #57060, by vhs
July 26, 2017 8:37 pm ET

I'm not a patient
man by any means I am
disappointed in

the zeitgeist of those
who seem lost in perpetual
digital extrovert

culture, lost children
never knowing how to have
a real line of talk

then again I paid way too much attention to that book called Reclaiming Conversation and quite frankly this whole website is an ongoing conversation
Haiku #57059, by vhs
July 26, 2017 8:14 pm ET

that's really good df
Haiku #57058, by vhs
July 26, 2017 7:45 pm ET

They speak with their eyebrows.
They eat aborted fowl.
They sweat acetic acid.
Karaoke mating call.
Beauty skin deep.
Staph infections and leprosy.
Nothing underneath.
Assimilation of advanced cultures is not progress, not civilized, not sophisticated, not art.
Consumed and vomited caviar is still just barf.
Consumed and vomited barf is hideous.
Assimilation of consumed cells, evolving into swine.
Sodomizing monotremes extremes FB memes.
Dried fish with dried maggots breath freshener.
Sewage accumulates, swimming in refuse.
3rd world decay.

Humans live on islands. Filth live in cities.
Apathy must die.
Haiku #57057, by df
July 25, 2017 9:38 pm ET

a clone army of vhs
under the command of vhs
given a mission...

a version of star trek
starring clones of vhs
as every character
Haiku #57056, by dvd
July 25, 2017 7:41 pm ET

hmm i often tease
a co worker for dumping
ketchup on her shoes

and i ask her hey
you wanna ketchup with me
here later on then?
Haiku #57055, by vhs
July 25, 2017 12:23 pm ET

A single fat drop
Dangling from a red tip
I need more ketchup
Haiku #57054, by Mauzy of Canada
July 25, 2017 12:19 pm ET

if someone cloned me
i wonder if i would get sick
of me talking

over and over
about whatever it was
i talk on and on...
Haiku #57053, by vhs
July 25, 2017 12:00 pm ET

who needs a net to
catch the image when you can
just go out the front

door and see it one's
self, analogue, logged, logs, birds
down the hill blue fields
Haiku #57052, by vhs of blueberry land
July 25, 2017 11:46 am ET

your net connection
so slow can't even download
a single gif file
Haiku #57051, by spambot of automated slam poetry
July 24, 2017 4:39 pm ET

a plague of spam
bots decends across the world
for some reason if

they were all good at
this sort of thing there'd be spam
bot poetry websites
Haiku #57050, by vhs
July 23, 2017 7:59 pm ET

i don't know what's worse
the disaster or the thought
and waiting for it

we can't worry but
there's always this sort of weird
prepper's bug some folks

get from times like these
with people holding signs with
repent on their boards
Haiku #57049, by vhs
July 23, 2017 7:11 pm ET

Wolf howls disturbed
Trouble brews with no answers
Candles sway truthful
Haiku #57048, by alfamike
July 23, 2017 12:22 pm ET

That's kind of...
Wouldn't you say, vhs?
Haiku #57047, by dvd
July 23, 2017 12:07 pm ET

I'm feeling run into
the ground by the overwhelming
sensation all the

sensationalism and so
called "prophecy" someone shoved
Slavoj Zizek up

my ass and I'm trying
to shit out a philosophy volume
of the end of the

world in three farts
Haiku #57046, by vhs
July 22, 2017 7:56 pm ET

and some guy thinks that
hypnosis has stuck some kind
of trigger in his

mind he can't get out
and he isn't sure what it is
just an undone feeling
Haiku #57045, by vhs
July 22, 2017 7:52 pm ET

i want to do some
innovative stuff this
guy wants to post fart

and masturbation jokes
i cant come here and my God
anyone i ask doesn't

show up except a
good friend who gets tired of
this shit fart damn joke

stuff and it's not the
first Death by Dimitris
Lyacos who i wanted

to email about this
website and i don't expect
to hear from him now
Haiku #57044, by vhs
July 22, 2017 7:50 pm ET

some people seem to think
the best thing to do is walk
away, there's times though to

get the bulldozer
ready for the obvious
Hyperspace ByPass
Haiku #57043, by vhs
July 22, 2017 7:42 pm ET

cafeteria fast food
fight, name calling and other
games of the damned man

expressing inner child
Haiku #57042, by vhs
July 22, 2017 7:38 pm ET

Nice and great [url=]phen375[/url]
Haiku #57041, by Phen375 of Usa
July 22, 2017 2:55 am ET

I sucked your mom's dick
while fighting five porpoises
in South Alaska
Haiku #57040, by Minisuperbraxton
July 22, 2017 2:51 am ET

listen, just shut the hell
up, find Ford Prefect and have
a drink and take a

ride on a Vogon ship
do not get me writing "Vogon poetry"
think i am bad now...
Haiku #57039, by vhs
July 21, 2017 9:34 pm ET

we also waste time with
those who think life is meaningless
I might say fuck it

and go ahead and
post whatever i will post
and keep posting thus
Haiku #57038, by vhs
July 21, 2017 9:31 pm ET

yes i had a thought
you were oh well I'm going
to Hell anyways

we HAVE had these long
drawn out convos for years
i still stand and stand
Haiku #57037, by vhs
July 21, 2017 9:29 pm ET

I'll try to make sure
to ask housekeeping to use
bleach if you ever

take a room where i
once worked, a LOT of bleach
in fact, don't scare the

dogs thank you
Haiku #57036, by vhs
July 21, 2017 9:26 pm ET

"get the feeling one
talks to one's self and leaves the
evidence behind"...

Sort of like masturbation w/o cleanup.
I do that in hotels.
That stucco on the ceiling...
well, you get the idea.

Nothing we do matters.
Give sandwiches to the homeless.
Go on a mass murder spree.
It will soon be forgotten.
Although... I do make a pretty good fucking sandwich if I say so myself. Arthur Dent worthy, I would say.

I might go pick up some beef... maybe caribou.
Sandwiches are in order. Live for the moment.
That's all we can do. Oh how fucking profound I am!...

Sammich time!
Haiku #57035, by df
July 21, 2017 9:05 pm ET

for some reason books
or pringles, you can't just eat
one but a whole bunch

of course you don't EAT
books but one, then another
soon you got say, four
Haiku #57034, by vhs of i like books
July 21, 2017 6:21 pm ET

the mind is willing
the body is sore, to get
up and go just left
Haiku #57033, by vhs
July 21, 2017 12:56 pm ET

get the feeling one
talks to one's self and leaves the
evidence behind
Haiku #57032, by vhs
July 21, 2017 11:51 am ET

i wanted a bookcase
that looked like a bunch of milk
crates put together

but sturdier and
standing up, sorta red in
a pattern, oh shit

I'm getting ideas here
Haiku #57031, by vhs
July 20, 2017 9:13 pm ET


not that wikipedia isn't an experiment on a chaotic design itself
Haiku #57030, by vhs
July 20, 2017 9:11 pm ET

to understand how
my mind works, Discordianism
plays a slight role in

that, although Jesus
has a tight reign on how much
"Chaos" I express
Haiku #57029, by vhs
July 20, 2017 9:08 pm ET

sometimes we long for
Tanelorn or The New Jerusalem
but all we get

is Camden, NJ
Haiku #57028, by vhs
July 20, 2017 8:55 pm ET

entertain me brain
admire it like a pirate
Now bark like a dog!
Haiku #57027, by Mandingo Ebola of Secret Hideoutistan
July 20, 2017 1:36 am ET

Sunlight streams through the window
I rush to the bathroom to throw up
No blood this time
It's gonna be a lovely day
Haiku #57026, by Jim of SF
July 20, 2017 1:05 am ET

I think if nothing else
Cannabis is proof of intelligent design
Also, she wasn't an adulteress
She was *accused* of it
Pretty shitty trial if you ask me
Good thing the judge showed up
Been meaning to check out
The Screaming Cheetah Wheelies
Was busy all week
Haiku #57025, by dvd
July 19, 2017 10:26 pm ET