Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 242 Days and 77165 Haiku later...

Kyle is a hero!
Shot a thug child molester.
He should have killed more.
Haiku # 73775, November 19, 2021 10:51 pm ET
by White Guy Kills 2 Whites of Cuz He RAYCISS ha ha ha ha ha
"Poet hangs himself."
And now for today's weather.
Cold, wet, and windy.
Haiku # 73773, November 19, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Homicide is far more fitting in todays world than suicide. of Don't be a pussy, waste some assholes you don't like.
Who's Kyle Shitinhouse?
Did he molest Joe Biden?
Post it on YouTube?

Oh, he shot people.
It's not inappropriate.
We should all do that.
Haiku # 73772, November 19, 2021 9:48 pm ET
by God Bless 'Merica!
Kyle Rittenhouse
Innocent of all charges
God our country sucks
Haiku # 73771, November 19, 2021 9:29 pm ET
by cursedmints
a top-rope belay:
carabiners, rope and knots
always a first time

i've been practicing
but it will be different
from sixty feet up
Haiku # 73770, November 19, 2021 5:04 pm ET
by scotch of trust fall exercises
That doesn't sound right.
Pot and porn will push themselves.
Boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs.
Haiku # 73768, November 19, 2021 2:57 pm ET
by Welcome to Starbucks. of What can I get started for you.
Tax-funded trillions
Unaccounted for. You think
to push pot and porn?
Haiku # 73767, November 19, 2021 2:48 pm ET
by Dumbed-down Populace
the malls have you know
pretty much killed themselves, you'd
just see them fall in...
Haiku # 73766, November 19, 2021 2:11 pm ET
by vhs
I can't watch TV.
Without wanting to vomit.
Then burn down the malls.
Haiku # 73765, November 19, 2021 12:47 pm ET
by Dr. R. was right.
Psst. Hey, guess what.

Haiku # 73764, November 19, 2021 12:43 pm ET
by You needed to hear that.
The Powers That Be
once wanted us all sober.
Now they want us high.
Haiku # 73763, November 19, 2021 8:06 am ET
by Typical.
Keep your thoughts subdued.
Go to the dispensary.
Here, bang this FleshLight.
Haiku # 73762, November 19, 2021 7:57 am ET
by Big, Big, Big, Big, Big... of Big Brother is Watching.
This whole "stay at home"
thing and closing all borders,
too Orwellian.
Haiku # 73761, November 19, 2021 7:44 am ET
by Freedom is slavery. And stuff.
China's missile launch
is a ploy because they have
nukes planted here now.
Haiku # 73760, November 19, 2021 7:41 am ET
by Cheaper that way. of Missiles are expensive and so much can go wrong.
If you detonate
a nuclear bomb in Prague,
would anyone care?
Haiku # 73759, November 19, 2021 7:40 am ET
by I doubt it. of They'll be too high.
Pot gravy, pot stew,
pot butter on candied yams,
and a joint after.

It's hilarious.
Little Jimmy puts olives
on all his fingers.
Haiku # 73758, November 19, 2021 7:37 am ET
by Control your laughter! of Watch me f*** the pumpkin pie, grandma!
Have you eaten rat?
Field rats, not sewer rats.
I hear it's not bad.

Maybe Thanksgiving
I'll bake up a rat pot pie.
Of course with real pot.

Pairs well with turkey.
Washed down with rum and eggnog.
I'm so effing high.
Haiku # 73757, November 19, 2021 7:32 am ET
by I'd like to give thanks that we can all be together this year. And thanks for the legalization of marijuana, without which I'd never get through Thanksgiving Day with relatives.
This place has it all
vermin in every corner
wall to wall vermin
Haiku # 73756, November 19, 2021 6:50 am ET
by Noticer of rat tails
has been restored to the rez
Wind knocked 3 trees down
Haiku # 73755, November 19, 2021 6:31 am ET
by Chattering of Teeth
Scotch: what's a "top-rope"?
Hope it's not suicidal...
Maybe climbing term...
Haiku # 73754, November 19, 2021 4:38 am ET
by Hung Up On Implications of Terminology
The moon is eclipsed
By one bad haiku tonight.
And it's MY haiku.
Haiku # 73753, November 19, 2021 4:25 am ET
by Go Outside and Look Up of I Control Celestial Bodies Through Haiku
Benjamin Franklin found out
when he fucked a kite
Haiku # 73752, November 19, 2021 12:22 am ET
by History through haiku
Please fucking kill me
I just really want to die
Jk i am good :)
Haiku # 73751, November 18, 2021 11:12 pm ET
by hit me up on twitter @cursedmints of house
Oh Madagascar!
Dear Antananarivo...
Ok. Took a risk.
Haiku # 73749, November 18, 2021 9:21 pm ET
by African Risk-assessment Team of Tananarive N'arrive Pas
in just a few days
i'll set up my first top-rope
was nice knowing you
Haiku # 73748, November 18, 2021 9:14 pm ET
by scotch of speaking of risk
Aside of awful,
Odor of fried Kartoffel:
A German jaw-full...
Haiku # 73747, November 18, 2021 9:12 pm ET
by Jawohl Mein Bruder of Achtung !
all the food's okay
i just want to play some "risk"
go madagascar!
Haiku # 73746, November 18, 2021 9:12 pm ET
by scotch
ok, hear me out:
falafel on a waffle
a side of offal
Haiku # 73745, November 18, 2021 9:03 pm ET
by scotch of culinary rhyming house
The turkey grease pops.
Obese in-laws salivate.
And then there's football.
Haiku # 73744, November 18, 2021 8:30 pm ET
by Some give thanks to Jesus. of Rum and Coke is my savior.
Haiku shall guide us.
Haiku the only vanguard.
(Well . . . haiku AND beer.)
Haiku # 73743, November 18, 2021 7:59 pm ET
by Celestial Guidance Through Bad Haiku
I call for reform.
Haiku shall be purified.
A new age begins.
Haiku # 73742, November 18, 2021 7:54 pm ET
by Purge the Deceptions of the Past
You people have FAILED.
Your haiku misses the mark.
Repent for your sins.
Haiku # 73741, November 18, 2021 7:49 pm ET
by The God of Haiku is Forgiving
Nerds are called egg heads.
Heads are sometimes called noggins.
Nerds are egg noggins.
Haiku # 73740, November 18, 2021 5:01 pm ET
by Mix in some rum. of God, this is dumb
Nude nimble gnomes gnaw
nifty noodles, nipping no
gnarly gnu noggins.
Haiku # 73739, November 18, 2021 4:59 pm ET
If there's a troll ban,
I'll do three life sentences.
Do prisons have cheese?
Haiku # 73738, November 18, 2021 4:22 pm ET
by DW
In America
can we outlaw gnomes instead?
Hobbits after that!
Haiku # 73737, November 18, 2021 3:01 pm ET
by I would soooo destroy the ceramic abominations.
So did boris just
Outlaw himself, a troll doll
Illegally banned
Haiku # 73736, November 18, 2021 2:44 pm ET
by Vhs
So did boris just
Outlaw himself, a troll doll
Illegally banned
Haiku # 73735, November 18, 2021 2:44 pm ET
by Vhs
i hear anti troll laws
are to be passed in england boris johnson...troll...

Haiku # 73734, November 18, 2021 1:09 pm ET
by vhs
waffle this waffle
that, me laddies, where me whipped
cream an strawberries
Haiku # 73733, November 18, 2021 12:59 pm ET
by waffle pirate vhs
At the Waffle House'
I got the Awful Waffle.
It had me baffled.
Haiku # 73732, November 18, 2021 12:31 pm ET
by It was actually pretty good. of Crispy with real maple syrup.
Elmo and Hitler's
assassination attempt
on Oscar the Grouch

would have succeeded
if Elmo weren't ticklish
and Hitler not gay.
Haiku # 73731, November 18, 2021 11:36 am ET
by Oscar's bunker is way cooler than Hitler's. of Have you seen it?!
I think you need to
worry if he dresses up
as Elmo in the store
Haiku # 73730, November 18, 2021 11:00 am ET
by vhs
i think my dear we
are trying to prevent others
from getting there...

to the Bunker.
Haiku # 73729, November 18, 2021 10:56 am ET
by vhs of Archie Bunker not Hitler Bunker
Elmo's tragedy.
You did more than tickle him.
Security cam.
Haiku # 73728, November 18, 2021 10:33 am ET
by Traumatized store detective.
I do not get that.
"Decolonizing bookshelves."
Just what does that mean?


Perhaps indicates
insanity or something.
I could not tell you.

(b/c if insane, would I know it?)

But I look around.
The world and "society".
It is all insane.

Changing one's "gender".
Order everything online.
Oozing fear like sweat.

But about the end.
Assuming you got that far.
How was that for you?
Haiku # 73727, November 18, 2021 10:30 am ET
by Sweaty nads vape flavor. of Vaping...?! I mean... WTF?! What the hell has happened to us?!?!
I've seen rambling books
murikamis...i fear those
cause they're nuts that want

decolonize your
bookshelf, these same people end
up in deep bunkers

and you know what next.
Haiku # 73726, November 18, 2021 9:47 am ET
by vhs of Gottandamerung.
WalMart toy section.
You have to tickle Elmo.
When no one's looking.
Haiku # 73725, November 18, 2021 9:03 am ET
by Guilty. And I'd do it again!
Better a monkey
than a pig any old day.
Bananas beat slop.
Haiku # 73724, November 18, 2021 7:36 am ET
by Boots the Monkey
That's Dowager Feng.
Stop watching Kung Fu Panda.
Your dumplings are tough.
Haiku # 73723, November 18, 2021 7:29 am ET
by General Tsao's Chicken
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