So you wrote all this.
You, the great Farth Digpucker.
We crown you with shit.
by Le Mage of Fromage 
 
			
Globohomo trash:
You are retarded children.
You are godless filth.
by Beatific Christian of Evangelical Amurrica 
 
			
Eat my cut and paste,
Filthy satanic Dutchman...
or are you Bellgian?
by Euro-Trash Take the Mark  of  the Beast 
 
			
Overloaded porn.
It's not even porn that I
can masturbate to.
by What sad times these are.
 
			
Alien anus
Emitting soothing vapor
Stay with us on Earth!
by Anonymous Poet
 
			
Stepped in haiku goo
I suspect it came from you
Please, come clean my shoe
by Noticer 
 
			
Don't make a duck face
Don't take another selfie
Go take a good shit
by Efficiency Expert of Modern Age 
 
			
I always said that
this site should have a log in.
With pictures allowed.
by ... you know you want to see my ass.
 
			
Porn bots twenty-eight.
Haiku poets only four.
Porn bots victory!
by df
 
			
It's Brenda from Camden, again. I meant to ask if this site is for poetry or is it dirty stories? Also, is it possible to win any prizes here. Thanks, and have a great rest of your day.
by Brenda L. of Camden, NJ 
 
			
Conjoined twins unload
and watch the toilet explode
The shrapnel splits them
by A Miracle of The Washroom 
 
			
Make it stop, Darth
by Anonymous Poet
 
			
The sign of old age.
You think you are done, but wait!
There is always more.
by On the toilet.
 
			
This is depressing.
More than my uncontrolled farts
and drooping anus.
by We can always sink to new depths.
 
			
Get out of the cult
I wouldn't trust loin cloth guy
Someone call Geraldo
by Concerned
 
			
Overdressed, perhaps.
It's not easy to pull off
How's the ball coverage?
by Lone Wolf Poet
 
			
Then he felt a bulge
that was bigger than his own
I am confused. Sir?
by Anonymous Poet
 
			
Out came the trimmers
Prize winning topiary
Neighbor, see my bush!
by Leif Figtickler
 
			
One saw a beaver
We both looked at her pussy
One saw rare roast beef
by Terrence Trenchmouth D'Arby's
 
			
He lured them in there
Teasing them with his bald head
They worked with no break
Both down on their knees
Heads bobbing in unison
Scrubbing the tile floor
by Noticer  of Details 
 
			
Peeing in public
Everyone hear your tinkle
Like rain on tin roof
Pooping in public
Everyone hear your thunder
God's Bowling Alley
Screwing in public
Everyone hear your girlfriend 
say, Is it in yet?
by Noticer Public
 
			
There were three sisters
They all had their periods
and only one tampon
by Riddler
 
			
It's a new day (yawn).
Let the haiku get worse now.
God is on His throne.
by God Hates Haiku of  Course. 
 
			
Less syllable please
That is all we are asking
Consider others
by Noticer of Paragraphs 
 
			
Pretty boy moaning
In your dreaming fitful sleep
And inside my pants
by Minivandestroyer of Germany 
 
			
Pretty boy moaning
In your dreaming fitful sleep
And inside my pants
by Minivandestroyer of Germany 
 
			
What do you expect?
When you threw her down the stairs
what were you thinking?
I mean..
Kori did tell everyone
how small your dink is
by Overheard
 
			
All New Darth Manson
Followed by Haiku Skelter
Figpucker Channel
by Brought to you by Cheez Balls a division of M cannibal's 
 
			
Darth is writing these
Always has tricks up his sleeves
Praise the Dark Lord
by Darth is Love
 
			
Ya goddamn faggot.
Get the hell off my site NOW.
Or else post haiku.
by Cut and Paste Bots are Dull of DEATHLY DULLSVILLE 
 
			
Did you take Sex Ed?
Women don't take Viagra
Darth... Talk, no Action
by Noticer of Darth's Cherry 
 
			
My wife makes fried cheese.
It's a Latin thing. Tasty.
Queso frito, mmmm.
by OK Run With It Darth
 
			
I will bear your child,
and birth the fruit of our love
while in the bathroom.
by Excremeditation of Haiku Buttsplit 
 
			
I would cut your cheese
and even grill your sandwich,
though I'm not worthy.
by Chevalier Fondue de Raclette of Cheese and Chivalry 
 
			
You are Limburger,
aged Asiago and warm Brie
and Velveeta too.
by Rennet Mold of Curdling Process 
 
			
Oh Darth, you're the cheese!
The most fragrant rarest cheese.
(Spread on a cracker.)
by Stoned Wheat Thins of Roquefort Stilton 
 
			
Oh Darth, handsome Darth:
Come to my arms, gentle prince.
First, wipe the shit off . . .
by My Secret Haiku Love of Shit-smeared Prince 
 
			
My haiku will reign.
Mother of all haiku: mine.
Wait -- what IS haiku?
by Haikai of Wrong Guy 
 
			
Eleven haiku
and not one mention of "Darth"
or my love of cheese.
I am proud of you.
Your obsession is waning.
Viagra ran out?
by Darth Figpucker
 
			
Syllabic heaven:
the celestial formula
equals seventeen.
by That magazine with girls in it of 1979 
 
			
Kanagawa hai!
Shizuoka Saitama
Okayama-san.
by Prefect of PREFECTURES 
 
			
The rising sun wins!
Rising sun has smoked your ass, 
unpoetic ape.
by Red Rays of RISING SUN 
 
			
Crystal Meth and thou:
Sha-mi-sen, koto music
My white-face geisha . . .
by Meth Session with Imperial Concubine of Shhhhhh Don't Wake Shogun  
 
			
Ha ha: dick in ass . . .
Stupid gaijin butt-monkey:
You put in wrong place.
by Long Race  of Wong Prace 
 
			
Cloud-pearls on Fuji . . .
Swaying bamboo grove of dusk . . .
Time to snort crystal!
by Hillbilly Meth-freak Orientalist of Fukuoka Prefecture 
 
			
Hey thar uncle Clem:
kin you git these Chinamen
offen muh front porch?
by Incomprehension of Appalachia 
 
			
Samurai haiku:
Carp singing in cherry tree...
paradise was gained.
by Post-seppuku Bliss of Imperial Shogun Haiku Guard  
 
			
Commit sepukku:
Stick the haiku in and twist.
That's REAL poetry.
by Honorable Discharge  of Disembowelment By Syllable 
 
			
You stupid gaijin,
You can't even write haiku;
Smelly white monkey.
by Hail Divine Emperor Hirohito of Plastic Noodle Replica 
 
			
You prose invaders
will soon feel Haiku’s full wrath.
Haiku does not run.
by Haiku Defense Force of Divine Wind of Rising Sun