Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 42 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

Porn bots twenty-eight.
Haiku poets only four.
Porn bots victory!
Haiku # 71359, August 19, 2021 6:35 pm ET
by df
It's Brenda from Camden, again. I meant to ask if this site is for poetry or is it dirty stories? Also, is it possible to win any prizes here. Thanks, and have a great rest of your day.
Haiku # 71346, August 19, 2021 5:29 am ET
by Brenda L. of Camden, NJ
Conjoined twins unload
and watch the toilet explode
The shrapnel splits them
Haiku # 71341, August 19, 2021 12:00 am ET
by A Miracle of The Washroom
Make it stop, Darth
Haiku # 71340, August 18, 2021 11:57 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The sign of old age.
You think you are done, but wait!
There is always more.
Haiku # 71339, August 18, 2021 11:43 pm ET
by On the toilet.
This is depressing.
More than my uncontrolled farts
and drooping anus.
Haiku # 71338, August 18, 2021 11:38 pm ET
by We can always sink to new depths.
Get out of the cult
I wouldn't trust loin cloth guy
Someone call Geraldo
Haiku # 71336, August 18, 2021 11:05 pm ET
by Concerned
Overdressed, perhaps.
It's not easy to pull off
How's the ball coverage?
Haiku # 71333, August 18, 2021 10:01 pm ET
by Lone Wolf Poet
Then he felt a bulge
that was bigger than his own
I am confused. Sir?
Haiku # 71330, August 18, 2021 7:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Out came the trimmers
Prize winning topiary
Neighbor, see my bush!
Haiku # 71328, August 18, 2021 6:42 pm ET
by Leif Figtickler
One saw a beaver
We both looked at her pussy
One saw rare roast beef
Haiku # 71327, August 18, 2021 6:33 pm ET
by Terrence Trenchmouth D'Arby's
He lured them in there
Teasing them with his bald head
They worked with no break

Both down on their knees
Heads bobbing in unison
Scrubbing the tile floor
Haiku # 71326, August 18, 2021 6:29 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Peeing in public
Everyone hear your tinkle
Like rain on tin roof

Pooping in public
Everyone hear your thunder
God's Bowling Alley

Screwing in public
Everyone hear your girlfriend
say, Is it in yet?
Haiku # 71319, August 18, 2021 12:59 pm ET
by Noticer Public
There were three sisters
They all had their periods
and only one tampon
Haiku # 71316, August 18, 2021 8:53 am ET
by Riddler
It's a new day (yawn).
Let the haiku get worse now.
God is on His throne.
Haiku # 71312, August 18, 2021 6:22 am ET
by God Hates Haiku of Course.
Less syllable please
That is all we are asking
Consider others
Haiku # 71311, August 18, 2021 6:06 am ET
by Noticer of Paragraphs
Pretty boy moaning
In your dreaming fitful sleep
And inside my pants
Haiku # 71310, August 18, 2021 5:58 am ET
by Minivandestroyer of Germany
Pretty boy moaning
In your dreaming fitful sleep
And inside my pants
Haiku # 71309, August 18, 2021 5:57 am ET
by Minivandestroyer of Germany
What do you expect?
When you threw her down the stairs
what were you thinking?

I mean..
Kori did tell everyone
how small your dink is
Haiku # 71307, August 18, 2021 1:04 am ET
by Overheard
All New Darth Manson
Followed by Haiku Skelter
Figpucker Channel
Haiku # 71304, August 17, 2021 11:21 pm ET
by Brought to you by Cheez Balls a division of M cannibal's
Darth is writing these
Always has tricks up his sleeves
Praise the Dark Lord
Haiku # 71303, August 17, 2021 11:12 pm ET
by Darth is Love
Ya goddamn faggot.
Get the hell off my site NOW.
Or else post haiku.
Haiku # 71301, August 17, 2021 9:14 pm ET
by Cut and Paste Bots are Dull of DEATHLY DULLSVILLE
Did you take Sex Ed?
Women don't take Viagra
Darth... Talk, no Action
Haiku # 71299, August 17, 2021 8:52 pm ET
by Noticer of Darth's Cherry
My wife makes fried cheese.
It's a Latin thing. Tasty.
Queso frito, mmmm.
Haiku # 71298, August 17, 2021 8:15 pm ET
by OK Run With It Darth
I will bear your child,
and birth the fruit of our love
while in the bathroom.
Haiku # 71296, August 17, 2021 7:41 pm ET
by Excremeditation of Haiku Buttsplit
I would cut your cheese
and even grill your sandwich,
though I'm not worthy.
Haiku # 71295, August 17, 2021 7:37 pm ET
by Chevalier Fondue de Raclette of Cheese and Chivalry
You are Limburger,
aged Asiago and warm Brie
and Velveeta too.
Haiku # 71294, August 17, 2021 7:32 pm ET
by Rennet Mold of Curdling Process
Oh Darth, you're the cheese!
The most fragrant rarest cheese.
(Spread on a cracker.)
Haiku # 71293, August 17, 2021 7:28 pm ET
by Stoned Wheat Thins of Roquefort Stilton
Oh Darth, handsome Darth:
Come to my arms, gentle prince.
First, wipe the shit off . . .
Haiku # 71292, August 17, 2021 7:23 pm ET
by My Secret Haiku Love of Shit-smeared Prince
My haiku will reign.
Mother of all haiku: mine.
Wait -- what IS haiku?
Haiku # 71291, August 17, 2021 7:19 pm ET
by Haikai of Wrong Guy
Eleven haiku
and not one mention of "Darth"
or my love of cheese.

I am proud of you.
Your obsession is waning.
Viagra ran out?
Haiku # 71290, August 17, 2021 7:16 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Syllabic heaven:
the celestial formula
equals seventeen.
Haiku # 71289, August 17, 2021 7:03 pm ET
by That magazine with girls in it of 1979
Kanagawa hai!
Shizuoka Saitama
Okayama-san.
Haiku # 71288, August 17, 2021 6:23 pm ET
by Prefect of PREFECTURES
The rising sun wins!
Rising sun has smoked your ass,
unpoetic ape.
Haiku # 71287, August 17, 2021 6:19 pm ET
by Red Rays of RISING SUN
Crystal Meth and thou:
Sha-mi-sen, koto music
My white-face geisha . . .
Haiku # 71286, August 17, 2021 6:17 pm ET
by Meth Session with Imperial Concubine of Shhhhhh Don't Wake Shogun
Ha ha: dick in ass . . .
Stupid gaijin butt-monkey:
You put in wrong place.
Haiku # 71285, August 17, 2021 6:13 pm ET
by Long Race of Wong Prace
Cloud-pearls on Fuji . . .
Swaying bamboo grove of dusk . . .
Time to snort crystal!
Haiku # 71284, August 17, 2021 6:09 pm ET
by Hillbilly Meth-freak Orientalist of Fukuoka Prefecture
Hey thar uncle Clem:
kin you git these Chinamen
offen muh front porch?
Haiku # 71283, August 17, 2021 6:05 pm ET
by Incomprehension of Appalachia
Samurai haiku:
Carp singing in cherry tree...
paradise was gained.
Haiku # 71282, August 17, 2021 6:02 pm ET
by Post-seppuku Bliss of Imperial Shogun Haiku Guard
Commit sepukku:
Stick the haiku in and twist.
That's REAL poetry.
Haiku # 71281, August 17, 2021 5:58 pm ET
by Honorable Discharge of Disembowelment By Syllable
You stupid gaijin,
You can't even write haiku;
Smelly white monkey.
Haiku # 71280, August 17, 2021 5:55 pm ET
by Hail Divine Emperor Hirohito of Plastic Noodle Replica
You prose invaders
will soon feel Haiku’s full wrath.
Haiku does not run.
Haiku # 71278, August 17, 2021 5:25 pm ET
by Haiku Defense Force of Divine Wind of Rising Sun
When Angie got home
She found someone left a hint
A Summer's Eve douche
Haiku # 71274, August 17, 2021 1:52 pm ET
by Paid Advertisement
I know who it was
Patrick Swayze's ghost intrudes
Molds your dink like clay

Brought it on yourself
He watched you dirty dancing
at the Jollibee
Haiku # 71273, August 17, 2021 1:48 pm ET
by If you don't want to attract ghosts of Tone it down
Not a restful sleep
Sleep number is sixty nine.
even during naps
Haiku # 71271, August 17, 2021 12:39 pm ET
by Purring of Downstairs Kitty
It was her moment
They were all hot for Teacher
She fingered her slit
Haiku # 71269, August 17, 2021 11:00 am ET
by Noticer of Details
He had been depressed
but she ignored the signals
and kept racewalking
Haiku # 71267, August 17, 2021 9:59 am ET
by Brenda L. of Camden, NJ
Brenda's sad haiku:
Menopausal sister's screams...
sterile suicide.
Haiku # 71266, August 17, 2021 9:34 am ET
by See, I haikuized It 4 U of Camden Haiku Support
Hot car mechanic
Slid out from under my car
with a huge boner
Haiku # 71263, August 17, 2021 8:44 am ET
by Just now of Midas
ATTENTION ! Haiku.
We make haiku in this place.
Less syllable please.
Haiku # 71261, August 17, 2021 7:20 am ET
by Dog-Faced Nazi Woman Guard of Buchenwald
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