I want a cupcake.
Chocolate with coffee icing.
And an espresso.
by Your local bakeshop.
He lifted his kilt
We saw the Loch Ness Monster
playing the bagpipes
by Merle Haggis of Barstool
You no have tickee
You no gettee bad haiku.
Cash only. Chop chop.
by Hong's Laundry of I No Pay You Stand Around Get To Work
You writee some strange.
You make too much ficky-fick.
You are stupid guy.
by Hong's Chinese Laundry of Old San Fran 1904
I saw cheese wrappers,
haiku written on napkins,
and tiny condoms
by I knew it must have been you of Beach
Hey, how did you know
we went to the beach today?
A seagull told you?
by Eternal Sandcastle of Bad Haiku
Don't you just hate it
Seagull ruins day at the beach
Flies off with my cock
by Dejected of Old Towel
A high, whiny voice
is how most of them would sound
if they had a mouth
by All dinks sound like Pinocchio
Or what if dinks
had a face identical
to the man attached?
by U. Look of Familiar
Wouldn't it be great
if penises had a face
like a cartoon dog
by Fond memories of Droopy Dog
Neighborhood Dark Lord
Borrowed a cup of sugar
He stole my sweet soul
So sweet. Woke Wilfred Brimley
from his long dirt nap
by Noticer of Darthtails
Nothing but dead fish,
plastic bags and raw sewage
choking up the bay.
by Small fishing town. of Trashy ppl cant even take care of the ocean they take from
I sincerely hope
covid will save the planet
from these gross humans.
by My octopus brothers are hurting.
I might also add:
If your God was merciful,
you'd not read my lines.
by Admit it!
Incorrect again.
I do not sin; I am sin.
Relinquish your soul.
by Your friendly neighborhood Dark Lord. of Being evil has its moments.
Our first date
was when you randomly called
and breathed in my phone
by Venus of Flycunt, New Jersey
Out with your waffles.
Fie upon thee, most vile knave.
A wretched bard, thou.
by Elizabethan Lutanist of Just passing through
Figpucker has sinned.
He has written bad haiku.
God is merciful.
by Seraphic Cherub of Cherubic Seraph
QGW4UT8JN9WGIQKWXF www.google.com Where are you located ? I want to come to you one of these days
by QGW4UT8JN9WGIQKWXF www.web.de of a point or extent in space
I'll have one pancake
Side order of twat waffles
And a large coffee
The waitress smiled.
She returned with a platter
of human sausage
by Noticer of Entrails
Just went to IHOP.
They were highly offended.
Ordered twat-waffles.
by With extra butter and a cup of coffee. of Spoke with foreign accent. Said someone on plane recommended them.
Time to buy some fruit.
Distract oneself from junk food.
Save money for crack.
by Gucci crack pipe.
All I know is that
I don't know what's going on.
My God I'm so high.
by Order a pizza!!
Why cant viruses
just make us hallucinate
instead of hack blood.
by That would be cool... of Huh huh huh.
Emu Overlords
will dance upon your dry bones
eating your children.
by More probable than aliens.
Spend all day watching
Bubble Guppies and Blues Clues.
But not Peppa Pig.
by Sponge Bob is walking birth control device.
Whats the backup plan?
Tritesticularity.
Gives you clarity.
by Three if better than two.
I grow weary of
cassowary and ostrich
leftover sandwich.
I knew an emu
who grew blue tofu for stew.
Makes fluorescent poo.
by Surely azurely
planet eat sandwich
sophisticated tuba
poncho with fragrance
by Vilmar of Austria
Prime roast emu
Ostrich and cassowary
Disagreeable
by Angry Birds of Turducken, NJ
You heard correctly.
Emus -- those big fucking birds.
Dinosaur throwbacks.
by They deserve this planet. of Not some talking monkeys.
As bad as life gets,
you disgust me more than I.
Go buy an Uzi.
by Racial cleansing. of Destroy the human race. Let the emus rule!
I flushed myself down.
Yet I'm too fat and buoyant.
Lingering floater.
by Enlightened poo. of The toilet scum ring is my halo.
The fledgling business
manufactures vibrators
and dildos for birds
by Business Spotlight of Beaking Off
Are you sick of life?
Flush yourself down the toilet
No one will notice
by Noticer of Details
Each and every poo
Transforms into Bad Haiku
Posted here for you
by Noticer of Details
Jollibee rest room
Man claiming to be poet
claims it's his "office"
by He gets a lot accomplished in there of (and he doesn't use toilet paper)
The neighbors were gnomes
When someone walked by the house
they exposed themselves
by Excerpt of What They Don't Tell You About Garden Gnomes
He was feeling bored
So he deep fried his penis
Genital Corndog
by Dick on a Stick of State Fair
Your taint is a swamp
Greasy balls=bad influence
and that guy's a dick
by In the name of The penis, the balls, and the holy spewit
Hark! The perfect flush
Dank, foul deposit be gone!
Aye, the smell lingers
by Dank Johnplugger of Tales of Kaka
Brown Holy Water
Stained glass windows exploding
Ex-Laxorcism
by Holy Shit
He took the day off
A romantic getaway
with his own dink
by I. Sawthem of Running toward each other at the beach
The forgetful Boy Scout
accidentally barbecued
his skewered penis
Wouldn't you know it
Now everybody wants one
Pass the mustard, please
by Happy Camper
And when you come home
Covered in their sweet perfume
She'll never suspect
by Noseful of Details (WD40 with top notes of mackerel)
Your own personal
penis pleasing robot girls
They'll fix what ails you
by Elon Musk of Musky Manatees of Muskegon
She was spread eagle
I noticed a flea circus
and stayed for the show
by Chief Itching Horn of Masturbation Nation
If God so loved you
The hookers would be free
and crab free, Sir
by I'll be calling you Sir of R E S P E C T
nevermid
http://jthpdbus.com/
by Edwardlak of Bosnia and Herzegovina
AI toilet chips
sense the poo's mass and volume
for the perfect flush.
by Saves 15 gallons of water per year. of What a perfect world we will have!
