Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 41 Days and 77432 Haiku later...

Divisional? Coexist?
Wow you ARE new here...
The "poet" formerly known as Darth Figpucker (he has many names) basically just wants to shit on everything. I'm kind of impressed that he's able to do anything at all, actually. By impressed I mean the way I'm impressed when I see a really big spider, like, HOW did it get that big? How was it allowed to survive that long? The main difference being spiders actually serve a purpose in an ecosystem. In real life I imagine that he's actually just an amorphous flesh blob covered in semi-flaccid penises dripping mucus. That's how he types. Penis fingers.
Or at least that's what I imagine he looks like solely based on the content he, uh... provides. But I digress.
You're a dog on a treadmill if you think there's anything worthwhile that will be contributed to him from you or vice versa. Don't feed the trolls. Unless you've got poison, then please feed the trolls. Put them out of their misery. It's the humane thing to do, really.
You must have found out about this site from VHS or one of his alter-egos from another site, right? If not I'm incredibly confused, but it's still nice to read something different.
Haiku # 64191, April 23, 2019 12:31 am ET
by for the new poetess of bad haiku
Im just a care bear
See I love u all and hope u love me.
Haiku # 64190, April 23, 2019 12:18 am ET
by Rainbows and Love of Doves Fly
When I was a little girl there was this one little btch...

As I was in a foster home from pedophilia and torn from m mother she this little girl acted as a witch

One night I dreamt of hot cast iron from the fire

I dreamt I used it to poke out her eyes like I used to do the beheaded fish from my grandmothers lake drive pick

I remember praying and asking for help. I remember saying please God don't let me lose myself.

Then one day this little girl cornered me..

In the girls bathroom thinking I was too chicken to ever defend myself and be free...

Last thing I remember was getting a paddle.

I ripped out her flesh when I bit her like cattle
Haiku # 64189, April 23, 2019 12:17 am ET
by Cannibal Unknown of There Is Much Potential Purposely Avoided
Close your legs. Silence
Hold the intention in there
Release your sphincters
Haiku # 64188, April 22, 2019 11:56 pm ET
by Doctor Flush foam
Used to be a tree
Pinocchio's morning wood
Geppetophile's dream
Haiku # 64187, April 22, 2019 11:51 pm ET
by Pants puppetry of Pants
My haiku isn't hot because u respond bitch!
Haiku # 64186, April 22, 2019 11:47 pm ET
by Lmao stuff u little shyt of Ok if u say so..but its enough to grasp your attention limp dick
Ok I admit u guys are a mess and I sort of like it..touche on the last poets rant because its true we all fought for what we believed to be true.

But my real question is how can we coexist? Cause Im sure I'm not the only one sick of the divisional shit. For our children of the future present and past. Can we ever find true victory to make and help the earth last?

Im not as mean as u think just a little stubborn from ANU's memory bank. Shit went down that could've been avoided when we all are trees and we truly all have gifts flowing naturally.

Tell me how to bring about change cause I wanna do my part in honest spirit of truth and heavens name.

Rather be it from the devil or the hand of god we are all apart of this shit called life so no need to be frauds. Just look and u never know what could've happened if u asked at first

but somehow ego strongly tends to make us all burst first! Ijs...
Haiku # 64185, April 22, 2019 11:45 pm ET
by True shyt of Not worried bout shyt just questions unanswered so where thee fuck is your mind?
Somebody went nuts
And their haiku was total shit
Take a chill pill now
Haiku # 64184, April 22, 2019 11:42 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
There's never a fight.
A fight will have a winner.
We're all losers here.
Haiku # 64183, April 22, 2019 11:27 pm ET
by TTGFP of Praise be to the Cunt of Christ -- it smells like rotten tuna
Brown anal butter
European churn style
Bump and grind all night
Haiku # 64182, April 22, 2019 11:27 pm ET
by Florida Goddesses
Some kind of cat fight
Had this been a real cat fight
You would smell tuna
Haiku # 64181, April 22, 2019 11:22 pm ET
by Rural Guido
Have you ever wanted to suicide bomb a mosque just for shits and grins and giggles? Not for like trying to prove anything, just you know, for like the humor of it.
Haiku # 64180, April 22, 2019 11:20 pm ET
by Are you a wrapper?
Chinese factory
Who we are makes this junk for?
Maniacal laugh
Haiku # 64179, April 22, 2019 11:19 pm ET
by That foolish moustache tickles
So... who are you then?
If your voice is so "well heard".
Then let us hear it.

My nigga!
Haiku # 64178, April 22, 2019 11:18 pm ET
by Uncle Tom's other nephew.
I don't be wanting beef...I try I try I try but for some reason I don't get why? I never did shyt to the bitches yet they stay fuckin with the misses its not about hood at least I'm real bitch u go down for head just for a deal so stuff bitch u aint real!
Haiku # 64177, April 22, 2019 11:16 pm ET
by None of you hoes of Leave Me the Fuck alone sad bitches mimic hoes 2009
Hold up. I'm cuntfuzed.
Who's "they"? The military?
Recruiting? Silly!
Haiku # 64176, April 22, 2019 11:15 pm ET
by Pecker Pus Paul
Remember the time
Vhs wigged the fuck out
Like he was possessed?
Haiku # 64175, April 22, 2019 11:14 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Remy enough said bye...
Haiku # 64174, April 22, 2019 11:14 pm ET
by Oh No said I of No need for u to cry
vanilla bitch Im proudly black no blonde weaves or strings on me just so I can fake crack back
Haiku # 64173, April 22, 2019 11:13 pm ET
by You're back of Rey set all u bitches back!
My voice is well heard that why they tried to recruit your sorry ass! Bitches always hide behind the scenes who they are yet even in my compassion u can't hold a candle to me!
Haiku # 64172, April 22, 2019 11:12 pm ET
by GO do what u do best and suck a dick of Fake of bunch of plastic made ass bitch!
Holy fucking Christ!
We have a celebrity!
THE Vanilla Ice!
Haiku # 64171, April 22, 2019 11:10 pm ET
by L O fucking L!
Oh really I'm the coward and yet my posts are open but who's hiding behind the screens bitch! No you're fraudulent Hood figurines!
Haiku # 64170, April 22, 2019 11:10 pm ET
by Not a blasphemous bitch of No matter how many people write your rhymes all y'all still shitty if u can't create originally! Don't try checking me check you
If You tired ass tragedy bitches don't stay the fuck up out my face trying to come up wit shyt wit yo raggedy ass!
Haiku # 64169, April 22, 2019 11:07 pm ET
by Im not beefing with u o go and check yo trifling wanna be ass of Dat start no shyt we won't have a issue girl good go fuck da nigga ...fuck dat y'all hoes still aintt solving all bitches probl
You're not from the hood.
Regardless of how often
you say "yo dumb ass."
Haiku # 64168, April 22, 2019 11:07 pm ET
by You need to ask out that girl at Starbuck's, you fucking coward.
LEGITIMATE SHIT.
ILLEGITIMATE CHILD.
ALL CAPS; YOU'RE ANGRY

SHOUTING THROUGH POEMS.
YOUR WEAK VOICE REMAINS UNHEARD.
AND NO ONE WILL CARE.
Haiku # 64167, April 22, 2019 11:02 pm ET
by CRAPS LOCK
First off bitches check yaselves I don't go around stalking other bitches for my health...
Haiku # 64166, April 22, 2019 11:01 pm ET
by Get some act right of Better yet pay attention when he lays down the pipe maybe then yo dumb ass won't believe the hype
I have a small dick.
That's why I like to fuck pigs.
I married a pig.

I have thirteen kids.
All of them are retarded.
Some of them deformed.

That's from all the drugs
and Satanic rituals.
My sperm are worthless.
Haiku # 64165, April 22, 2019 10:56 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Jazz hands in the air
Jesus Christ is moon walking
On fire. Cartwheeling
Haiku # 64164, April 22, 2019 10:50 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Notre Dame
THE VAGINAS WERENT FRESH THEY WERE SUCH A MESS SADLY HE DIDNT WANT THEM EVEN THOUGH THY SAID THEY WERE THE BEST...

THEY SUCKED THEY FUCKED...THEY EVEN BROUGHT THE FINEST DUCK AND YET HE WAS STILL SADDENED BY THE STRETCHED OUT RUBBERY MESS...WASNT PURE, NOTHING TRUE SO SAD NOW SO BLUE SO SNOTTY CRYING ON THE SHOULDER OF ME TOO
Haiku # 64163, April 22, 2019 10:48 pm ET
by OH WELL BITCHES BOO HOO of TRAILS OF TEARS OF WHOREDOMS BLISS...SORRY BITCH BUT U MISSED CAUSE IM LEGIT
I fuck unicorns.
I don't even use condoms.
Here's my abortions.

I keep them in jars.
And I have named all of them.
See how they sparkle.

That's unicorn cum.
It has magical powers.
Here, taste it and see.
Haiku # 64162, April 22, 2019 10:48 pm ET
by Starkitten
Waiter, there's a vagina in my soup.

My good sir, here at Porc Longue du Jour we refer to them as "cunts", and you did order the Soupe de Cunt, so of course there is a cunt in your soup. And I might add we serve only the finest cunts available. Freshly slaughtered just last night. Even to you American swine. Enjoy, sir.
Haiku # 64160, April 22, 2019 10:42 pm ET
by vhs
Yes, but it's always
amusing to see Frogs cry
or Jesus burn down.
Haiku # 64158, April 22, 2019 10:29 pm ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
It was amusing
Seeing Parisians crying
As jesus burned down
Haiku # 64157, April 22, 2019 10:09 pm ET
by At the foot of Your bed
You get extra points
if the poet happens to
be a "slam" poet.
Haiku # 64156, April 22, 2019 10:06 pm ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Here's your assignment:
At the poetry reading
take out your switchblade.

Wear a bomber vest.
Cut out the first poet's eyes.
Puncture his eardrums.

Cut of both his hands.
So he'll never write again.
Cut off his balls too.

You know, just for fun.
Leave him bleeding on the stage.
Demand a coffee.

Add sugar and cream.
Enjoy the coffee and moans
of his agony.

Then go on outside.
Detonate your bomber vest.
That's performance art.
Haiku # 64155, April 22, 2019 9:59 pm ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
The bad one might be
VHS off of his meds
Lurking there unknown...
Haiku # 64154, April 22, 2019 9:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Let your hatred flow.
Suicide bomb a day care.
Or write a poem.

It is all the same.
In the end we're all just shit.
Worthless rotting cunts.
Haiku # 64153, April 22, 2019 9:50 pm ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Amusing anger.
Internet verbiage battles.
Petty little nerds.
Haiku # 64152, April 22, 2019 9:45 pm ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
You wanna come up against me?
Thats fin u must need the money
Pinnochio made as bitch
Haiku # 64151, April 22, 2019 8:15 pm ET
by Here I Am... of Naw tho u back not even worth the argument
You Lose...
No matter which way u come
You always have ben a sore loser
Oh and let not the plastic made bitches come oh lol for u are mad of not even clay but just filled with a baggy full of cum
Haiku # 64150, April 22, 2019 8:13 pm ET
by Bitch Are U Dumb of Powerful Poet
I HEAR THE CHAINS FALLING!
Haiku # 64149, April 22, 2019 8:12 pm ET
by Power of the Glory of the True ANU of To DO RIGHT!
That new age poet
The familiar whining tone
Could be vhs
Haiku # 64148, April 22, 2019 7:56 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Figpucker is it!
You are the new age poet
What ya been drinking?
Haiku # 64147, April 22, 2019 7:54 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
The cunt of Jesus,
infected and dripping pus,
will not save your soul

You can eat that meat,
blood dripping from the corners,
of your smiling mouth.

Your pass to heaven.
Your golden shower ticket.
Your sins forgotten.

Blow torches, vice grips,
pain enhancing stimulants.
Amateur Pilate.

Marilyn Manson
has the corpse of Jesus Christ
in his basement lair.

Torture continues.
His clones made into sex slaves.
Eat the Flesh and Blood.

Your soul still festers.
Your sins piled up, eyeball deep.
You'll never be free.
Haiku # 64146, April 22, 2019 7:49 pm ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Useless is one hot wins just because her fake creativity doesn't truly come from the divine...

see Useless isn't the tree of old because she was wise enough not to allow her pussy to get old

the virgin may have sparked much laughter but the tightness of her trees keep her young in laughter

tap tap tap I'd tap back but sour bitches seem not to like it when the virgin snaps back
Haiku # 64145, April 22, 2019 7:26 pm ET
by Laughing Pleasantly of Is the Old Ass Tree that Managd to hold onto somehow her virginity
Tap tap I'd tap that
Tap tap I'd tap that tap tap
Tap tap I'd tap that
Haiku # 64144, April 22, 2019 6:35 pm ET
by Woodpecker of On high AF
Woodpeckers don't whine
About useless ex lovers
Sappy nature talk
Haiku # 64143, April 22, 2019 6:33 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Woodpecker on high
Prehistoric telegraph
Haiku carved in tree
Haiku # 64142, April 22, 2019 6:20 pm ET
by High AF
I'll tell you one thing
You need your head examined
Pull it from your bum
Haiku # 64141, April 22, 2019 6:16 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Listening to the rain songs of birds still mystic love as the blue bird sang
Haiku # 64140, April 22, 2019 5:48 pm ET
by Fly Eagle Soar of Split Personalities of Lov
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