Megalopolis
Meet me at the popcorn stand
Dress like a corn dog

Cross eyed and painless
The lower head is talking
Stick it in my ear

The longest noodle
Your good fortune and long life
Slurped down in one gulp

Get that book- low shelf
10,000 years quietude
Can not defeat boobs!

"My eyes are up here"
Maybe so, baby girlie
But mine are- elsewhere

The beach to ourselves
Am I eating durian
Or is it your shoe?

Palm fronds are waving
Gas in any container
Careful what you drink

Eyes seeing double
Tantric quadruple pleasure
Not even plugged in

Next to dishwasher
Customized tv channel
Enjoy remote view

That library girl
Has her enormous melons
exposed to clients

Every day low top
Library then breaks records
Of horny dude use

That library girl
Has her enormous big melons
exposed to clients

Every day low top
Library then breaks records
Of horny dude use

The urologist
Full of piss and vinegar
Less the vinegar

At home water birth
2 cups of strong black coffee
No doula required

Jugs bouncing slo mo
Give way to sudden mood swing
Making it rain now

Thanks for listening
Almost like having a friend
Except you hate me

Backyard catapult
My airborne mother in law
May she rest in peace

You know what to do
Will need 50 gallon drums
Best to keep busy

Yeah I'm not sure what I was going to say here. You have to plan that somewhat and of course there are syllables to consider. Then, in the background, the pressure to listen for the spousal unit and pass wind and belch as needed. Dinner was not enjoyable. The burp fart crescendo to another pitiful day on this spinning ball of suffering

Free my mind and soul
A rest room meditation
Now toilet is clogged

Picked from the line up
You must look a lot like me
The price of good looks

If you have one eye
Can you really be cross eyed?
A cross eyed penis?

Human venison
Carefully wrapped in paper
Clothes and wallet burned

The machines are down
Oompa Loompas will fix them
For now, we will wait

I'm at work on my break. Just wasted all my quarters in the now out of order vending machine. I had a sugar packet and a tap water for lunch.

Evacuation
They're rushing for the exit
Every bean I ate

were the best way to get the chance to get laid. Alcohol and drugs weren't helping. Try to make yourself look sexy. Change your hair part. Lose the dandruff. Shave off that ridiculous Hitler moustache

Butter my biscuit
Now spread the marmite thick, mate
Cassowary spooge

Sex toy collection
Chinese factory workers
Laughing their heads off

Medical experts
Penis examination
Salami platter

Cheese cubes on toothpicks
Vacuuming blood off the walls
All work and no play

Have you ever put
foreign objects up your cock?
The doctor asked him.

Like made in China?
he bewilderedly replied
while urinating.

The urologist
prescribed castration and a
possible sex change.

Like doggy style?
he asked, finger up his ass.
That's my job, doc said.

Green eyes on Friday
I may never know her name
Watch her pick her nose

Romantic movies
Candlelight and chocolates
Then you ruined it...Faaaaaarrrrtttttttt

Impersonation
Expectorating grease sludge
Wuzzitgoodforyou?

I'm Darth Figpucker.
I like to sniff monkey farts.
And impregnate chimps.

The curse of Brexit:
A nation ripped apart by
Xenophobia

Exterior crust
That

Riding the see saw
The weight of your mammoth schlong
Throws it off kilter

Bakedbeansalute

Need a hand to hold
The one you don

Construction workers
Port-o-let Museum tour
Frozen fecal chunks

Dr. Mehmet Oz
Always hustling vegetables
Passing softened stool

Named my dink Kojak
My, how he shines in sunlight
Who loves ya, baby?

Restaurant etiquette
External predigestion
Please use the drive thru

The day we were wed
Demons danced on your shoulder
With tiny pitchforks

Where is my asshole?
This hive mind mentality
Compound eye bullshit

Turned into a bug
Emitting a high pitched noise
Can

Like some strange creatures,
I vomited up my guts,
all over my food.

I believe that's called
external predigestion.
Hiccup! Excuse me!

*singEing, but of course.
Singing butt hairs would be weird.
My, but my butt stinks.

Cuntfart Cunt's my wife.
I'm fairly certain of this.
If I call her fat...

Cuntfart stops posting.
Crying in the "comfort room".
a.k.a. bathroom.

There's no comfort found
in a Philippines bathroom;
There's never TP.

Many mosquitoes.
Ass looks like a strawberry.
So many red bites.

Cutting the cheese farts.
Limburger overdose poots.
That's not ammonia.

Real farts have sulfides.
Stinky cheese has amine smell.
They are not the same.

When the poets poot.
Candlelight gas explosions.
Singing hidden hairs.

Dogs always find out
Is there cheese in your pocket?
Fart stain in your pants?