Medical experts
Penis examination
Salami platter

Cheese cubes on toothpicks
Vacuuming blood off the walls
All work and no play

Have you ever put
foreign objects up your cock?
The doctor asked him.

Like made in China?
he bewilderedly replied
while urinating.

The urologist
prescribed castration and a
possible sex change.

Like doggy style?
he asked, finger up his ass.
That's my job, doc said.

Green eyes on Friday
I may never know her name
Watch her pick her nose

Romantic movies
Candlelight and chocolates
Then you ruined it...Faaaaaarrrrtttttttt

Impersonation
Expectorating grease sludge
Wuzzitgoodforyou?

I'm Darth Figpucker.
I like to sniff monkey farts.
And impregnate chimps.

The curse of Brexit:
A nation ripped apart by
Xenophobia

Exterior crust
That

Riding the see saw
The weight of your mammoth schlong
Throws it off kilter

Bakedbeansalute

Need a hand to hold
The one you don

Construction workers
Port-o-let Museum tour
Frozen fecal chunks

Dr. Mehmet Oz
Always hustling vegetables
Passing softened stool

Named my dink Kojak
My, how he shines in sunlight
Who loves ya, baby?

Restaurant etiquette
External predigestion
Please use the drive thru

The day we were wed
Demons danced on your shoulder
With tiny pitchforks

Where is my asshole?
This hive mind mentality
Compound eye bullshit

Turned into a bug
Emitting a high pitched noise
Can

Like some strange creatures,
I vomited up my guts,
all over my food.

I believe that's called
external predigestion.
Hiccup! Excuse me!

*singEing, but of course.
Singing butt hairs would be weird.
My, but my butt stinks.

Cuntfart Cunt's my wife.
I'm fairly certain of this.
If I call her fat...

Cuntfart stops posting.
Crying in the "comfort room".
a.k.a. bathroom.

There's no comfort found
in a Philippines bathroom;
There's never TP.

Many mosquitoes.
Ass looks like a strawberry.
So many red bites.

Cutting the cheese farts.
Limburger overdose poots.
That's not ammonia.

Real farts have sulfides.
Stinky cheese has amine smell.
They are not the same.

When the poets poot.
Candlelight gas explosions.
Singing hidden hairs.

Dogs always find out
Is there cheese in your pocket?
Fart stain in your pants?

I can hear God's dog.
It's vomiting on my couch.
Or my wife's horny.

Despite what they say,
vaginas do not explode,
even with Pop Rocks.

My enormous cunt
remains unsatisfied by
your tiny penis.

She would leave me.
But she's become a fat pig.
Nobody wants her.

Nothing is wasted
If I have to use tweezers
I will smoke this roach

Grinch farts Grinch farts, yeah!
Grinch farts Grinch farts Grinch farts, yeah!
Grinch farts Grinch farts, yeah!

Tried to get it on
With a horny stoplight once
But no GO signal

Maybe we could try
Still have a few drinks and screw
In a dark alley

Poetry Robot
No marital relations
Ejaculates grease

Grinch farts up the front
Impressive labia stunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt

I do not have a wife. I am not a lesbian. I am single.

I don

I mentioned the wife,
but you are back to Grinch Farts.
What is wrong with you?

Grinch farts for Christmas
Just the right size for stockings
So green and smelly

Poles Dancing Club. What?
Accordions..Bobby Vinton!?
Not as expected

Imagine Darth's wife.
Does he even have a wife?
If so, pity her.

Beastiality
Turned myself in to the cops
For screwing a pig

Looking for something ?
I hope it's not poetry
You won't find that here

run run hurdle
Run run hurdle run run
Run run hurdle

Trump toilet paper
Each square displays his visage
Orange becomes burnt ombré

Time for a poem
I assume the position
Push out another

I'm not complaining
Watching you bend over now
Picking up a dime

Please don't get me wrong
I'm not sure what to say here
But I sure can count

I'm not a bad man
I flush after I go poo
Don't spit on the streets

Metamorphosis
When butterflies get boners
Then they fly zig zag

company has left
Out of habit, I get up
Sniff all the chair seats

Whatever you want
But when you say what you want
They call the police