I'm not a bad man
I flush after I go poo
Don't spit on the streets

Metamorphosis
When butterflies get boners
Then they fly zig zag

company has left
Out of habit, I get up
Sniff all the chair seats

Whatever you want
But when you say what you want
They call the police

Sea kraits twisty dance
Come to our undersea rave
We will bite your ass

I DID go live there.
Living there as we now "speak".
And it's a shit hole.

But at least I'm free.
American Freedom's dead.
Hope you like your wall.

Abort those babies.
Legalize pot and cocaine.
Hail Lord Satan!

Old perv grabs pussy.
Orange Cheeto-head con artist.
He is Putin's slave.

Leftist poetry...
God I can't stand it at all;
predictably dull.

Well I changed my mind
I went hog wild. Chose the ham.
Farts sound like oinking

Sulphur farts, uh-huh...
That's your mind on a good day.
And when it's filthy ?

I chose egg salad
Something to look forward to
Cutting sulphur farts

I'm at work today
Deciding on lunch choices
Egg salad or ham

He responds with shit.
His brain is like a toilet.
He deserves a flush.

Broom handle up priest?
Never have. I'm Protestant
so couldn't care less.

Ever fucked a priest
Up the ass with a flaming
Broooooooooooomhandle?

Nothing wrong with that.
I once sold uranium
to some Amish priests.

It was a good trade.
Enriched uranium for
some strawberry jam.

I was curious,
but didn't want to ask what
they wanted it for.

Uranus yum yum
Russian dressing on the side
Way horrorshow good

Trump is honest Abe
Compared to the evil Bitch
That sold uranium

To the Russian thugs
While slimy rat Bill Clinton
Took their rubles

That's not collusion
To Democrat Bolsheviks
The craven grifters-

Russian collusion
Yes it happened GD right
Under Demon rats

Please Tell Vlad, kind Sir.
Said Obola the jive @$$
I am flexible.

Arriving home,drunk
Twenty minutes spent farting
Ahhhh...this is the life

Kleptomaniac
Out there on the dance floor now
Stealing all my moves

The wedding is off
You said you would find a job
Stop writing poems

Horseradish is not usually considered when deciding on flavors for cake frosting. Sometimes you get a hankering you just can not explain. Trust me, it is the Devil.

Robotic sex slave
Original packaging
New and in the box

Oh, how the crowd cheered
That's why no one noticed me
Balcony B.M.

I have an idea.
All organic zombie strips.
Wriggling jerky.

Preach it, Wong Lofan.
This is war against zombies.
Haiku our weapon.

Don't diss Orangeman...
Orange Savior Daddy Trump
give fire to man.

Indian maidens
Chew yuca. Spit out wet paste
to ferment. Home brew.

The eaters of paste
Unceremoniously
Thrown in wastebasket

He's small potatoes
Just look for the Orange Clown
There's your criminal

And the fake news shills
Jumped on the liars tall tale
And hollered like hell

Masterful liars
CNN,NBC-all
Spew proven bull chit

Egg on their faces
They care not a GD whit
And will keep lying,

Another liar
Click. Oompa Loomp mugshot
Soon will bend for soap

Clown Jussie Smollett.
No one cares that you are gay
Or that you are black

The law only cares
If you are a false liar chump
Equal under law.

So- can you dig it?
If you made a false statement
You will go to jail

Benjamin Franklin
You invented the hard on?
Fist bumping you, bro

Pleasant side effects
Daily dose of boner bills
Increased handsomeness

I'm not sure how we will get to the next poem. Sometimes it does not possible that one could appear. A pleasant surprise for all to see another gem.

Since I was a kid
Grooved to Steely Dan
Mondegreen Gold mine

I love Steely Dan.
Write a haiku about them . . .
Yeah. That's what I'll do.

Fish eyeballs for bait
We will reel in Moby Dick
Pan fry the bastard

That is when the fists started flying. You can imagine how that one went.

Hawaii was my first night out of legal age. I injested enough pineapples and psychedelics to knock out an entire commune. Only had one legitimate alcoholic drink and that

I think I know you
Did you work in Alaska?
If not, it

And the circus tent
Ok, those are my stretch pants
Off to the next town

I stand corrected
Those bearded ladies I saw
That was a mirror

I'm no fuckin' snitch.
Neighbors could have dead bodies.
I won't tell the pigs.

Cooperation.
Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip.
Uh huh, yip yip yip.

Reminiscing of
the good old days when only
Bird could see Snuffy.

That pinball machine
counting to twelve was a trip.
Uncle Bob's acid.

That explains a lot.
I need to go to Cali
where the good drugs are.

Remember to call the police and inform them of your neighbors. It doesn

Open sesame
Too late the seed is in your
Sesame seed buns

Alien morsels.
Chocolate not of this world.
Saved by a monster.

I'm quite new to this.
Never had my ass eaten.
Same time tomorrow?

Bring Bert and Ernie.
But you can have all the chips.
Alien love seeds.

Standing room only
It