BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
283 Days
65626 Haikus
Bill wasn't funny
you are funny. I'm trying
to keep up with your

mildly psychopathic
writing style. case in point
Gen X was minimalist

and liked girls in latex
Haiku #56457, by vhs
May 12, 2017 11:45 am ET

I am craving beef.
The whole entire carcass.
Gutted and butchered.

I'll crawl inside it.
Slowly eating my way out.
Just like Alien.
Haiku #56456, by Anonymous Poet
May 12, 2017 2:29 am ET

I still hate counting.
Numbers will make you turn gay.
Consider "The Count".

He almost caused the
breakup of Bert and Ernie.
Say No to Numbers!
Haiku #56455, by Anonymous Poet
May 12, 2017 2:25 am ET

Seriously though. Asian talent and game shows seem to have the most hideous and overplayed laugh track on the planet... not sure if all of Asia, but the Philippines certainly. Fucking hideous.
Haiku #56454, by Anonymous Poet
May 11, 2017 2:25 pm ET

No, no I haven't.
Attempted the book a long time ago... another lifetime ago, I think.
Never tried it since. Maybe time for it again.
But then... why read it if you live it?
Haiku #56453, by Anonymous Poet
May 11, 2017 2:16 pm ET

i take it you read
the snippet in naked lunch
about the talking asshole
Haiku #56452, by vhs
May 11, 2017 10:34 am ET

It's not very much fun when your hemorrhoids become sentient.
They've taken to singing theme songs from Asian game shows.
The laugh track is the worst.
It makes my ears bleed and fills my soul with hatred.
Colon cancer would be a most fitting death.
Haiku #56451, by ridge rockwood
May 11, 2017 12:25 am ET

*and call me Caitlyn....
shit I can't even complete a thought without fucking it up.
Christ... time for the nursing home. Get the Depends ready.
Haiku #56450, by carrer londo
May 11, 2017 12:17 am ET

Did you know that
SQRT(a ± b) = SQRT((a + u)/2) ± SQRT((a - u)/2)
if a > b > 0 and u = SQRT(a^2 - b^2)
I didn't know that and I've been doing this shit a long time.
What the fuck is wrong with me?!
Split my cock and Caitlyn.
Haiku #56449, by Exit road of another good captcha, but I like the previous one better
May 11, 2017 12:15 am ET

Modern Arial to Ground Assault?
Masturbation Anonymous Group Association?
My Ass Grinds Awkwardly?
Mi Amigo Gringo Asshole?
Micturition Anencephaly Grotesque Arbitration?
Haiku #56448, by irapuato pluguffan of My fave captcha so far
May 10, 2017 8:38 pm ET

lunch is the last thing
ever on my mind, as they burn
books in Cali to

save the digital
copies, cover their own sick mad
natures as we wait

for a generation
of worthless psychopaths to
die off so we can

rebuild America
MAGA doesn't seem like such
a bad idea right now
Haiku #56447, by vhs
May 10, 2017 1:03 pm ET

There's a small chance I could have worms.
Saw one in the toilet, but it wasn't after I'd pooped.
It was about 2 inches long, just wiggling around in there.
So, I took some worm meds.
Now I'm going to see Alien Covenant.
Haiku #56446, by df of dyke orsol
May 9, 2017 10:35 pm ET

no really, what is in spam?
Haiku #56445, by vhs
May 9, 2017 1:15 pm ET

watch the religious
digs, there's a part of me
that might forget that

i am SUPPOSED to
be a Christian but you know how
THAT works, history
Haiku #56444, by vhs
May 9, 2017 1:11 pm ET

you know you always
put me on the spot but as
always, truth to trolls

leftover ham mostly
the Russians liked it during
world war two. saved lots

vikings also seem to
like spam spam spam spam spam spam
but who likes Treet?
Haiku #56443, by vhs
May 9, 2017 1:06 pm ET

I like to learn things
Interesting article
Thank you for helping
Haiku #56442, by ipeeinmyownmouth of Chinese spam factory
May 9, 2017 1:16 am ET

Spam consists of ground up Chinese abortions and anti-communist sympathizers and the occasional religious person.
Shaved, put in a steam cooker with MSG, gelatin, and preservatives. Voila! Spam.

And you thought it was rejected pork scraps.
Haiku #56441, by Anonymous Poet
May 8, 2017 8:36 pm ET

now maybe we will
have the ingredients of
spam posted here next
Haiku #56440, by vhs
May 8, 2017 12:26 pm ET

Oh my goodness! an amazing article dude. Thanks Nonetheless I am experiencing issue with ur rss . Dont know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting similar rss drawback? Anybody who is aware of kindly respond. Thnkx
Haiku #56439, by opweeryp of USA
May 7, 2017 7:42 pm ET

well i think we just
got the ingredients to
cheetos that last post

i like cheetos
Haiku #56438, by vhs
May 7, 2017 1:57 pm ET

Vegetable oil (corn, canola, and/or sunflower) Cheese seasoning (whey, cheddar cheese [milk, cheese cultures, salt, enzymes], canola oil, maltodextrin [made from corn], salt, whey protein concentrate, monosodium glutamate, natural and artificial flavors, lactic acid, citric acid, artificial color [yellow 6]) Salt.

Just fucking because!
Haiku #56437, by Anonymous Poet
May 7, 2017 8:02 am ET

We'll, no matter what,
I wouldn't want to do his job.
Way too much stress there
Haiku #56436, by T
May 6, 2017 2:35 pm ET

i've known you for years
DPF, same gen as the
Donald himself, self

assured, word for
word, carrying signs and not
repairing bridges
Haiku #56435, by vhs
May 6, 2017 1:52 pm ET

He's a fucking Cheeto!
Artificial fluorescent obnoxious and bad for your health.
With a tiny little dick.
He should be eliminated.
Like burritos on Wednesday morning.
Haiku #56434, by Anonymous Poet
May 6, 2017 2:49 am ET

serious answer
he's a gemini, that kind
tend to be chaos

socially in mind
flittering from thought to thought
he thinks that if he

shows force then the world
will respect the USA
and respect the terms

of this country
Haiku #56433, by vhs
May 5, 2017 1:42 pm ET

Vaginas are horrible things and not to be trusted.
Look at all the damage they've done.
Eskimos for example.
If not for vaginas there would be no Eskimos.
Or Inuits. Whatever.
Haiku #56432, by Anonymous Poet
May 4, 2017 9:40 pm ET

Ive learn some excellent stuff here. Certainly worth bookmarking for revisiting. I wonder how a lot attempt you set to create such a fantastic informative web site. dafcegaggffk
Haiku #56431, by twurytru of USA
May 4, 2017 2:17 pm ET

Serious question:
Is the president insane?
I just don't get him.
Haiku #56430, by T
May 4, 2017 2:09 pm ET

i don't FEEL like a
posting on here but you know
keep going on'non
Haiku #56429, by vhs
May 4, 2017 1:23 pm ET

Hey! Nice post thanks for sharing this.....if you want any solution related to windows than visit here:
Haiku #56428, by Sumantha Black of UK
May 4, 2017 2:36 am ET

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if you have any problems related Canon Printer and look for solution then vist here :
Haiku #56427, by Kitty Dracy of USA
May 4, 2017 2:34 am ET

Thanks for sharing this awesome piece of info. It is really very helpful..
Haiku #56426, by Alia Dsouza of UK
May 4, 2017 2:32 am ET

between alex jones
satanic conspiracies and
people i really

do know who have their
personalties split through this
hypnosis crap, why

the hell does my comp
want to keep having me go
play fucking Farmville
Haiku #56425, by vhs
May 3, 2017 12:20 pm ET

What's really fun is
drunken vector calculus
for hookers and drugs.
Haiku #56424, by Anonymous Poet
May 3, 2017 7:28 am ET

Pooping is fun.
It is fun to poop.
Trust me.
Haiku #56423, by Anonymous Poet
May 2, 2017 10:29 pm ET

wait a minute it's
a D with the number 8...
someone is going

to let me have it
jokes wise or whatever and
not a made man here...
Haiku #56422, by vhs
May 2, 2017 12:29 pm ET

it's the letter b
with equal signs and the number
8 at the end
Haiku #56421, by vhs
May 2, 2017 12:04 pm ET

(it's a skinny one, with a big head.)
Haiku #56420, by Anonymous Poet
May 2, 2017 8:33 am ET

I'd like to submit a dick pic here.
Why don't we have that option?
I'm going somewhere else.
Haiku #56419, by Anonymous Poet
May 2, 2017 3:14 am ET

whuf... whuf...
There you go.
A new pair of pants.
Haiku #56418, by Anonymous Poet
May 2, 2017 3:11 am ET

"Pants" sounds strange to me
Meter is always running
Spew thoughts while you can
Haiku #56417, by Mandingo Ebola
May 2, 2017 12:37 am ET

I'm not counting silly bulls.
Cows are logical, but their milk tastes funny.
Rabbit milk yogurt is too expensive for me.
Dog milk yogurt is cheap. Red Rocket, Red Rocket!
Haiku #56416, by Anymouse Poet
May 1, 2017 4:19 pm ET

I truly appreciate this post. I've been looking everywhere for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You've made my day! Thank you again!
Haiku #56415, by etwyeyey of USA
May 1, 2017 4:59 am ET

Hey, you used to write amazing, but the last couple of posts have been kinda boring I miss your tremendous writings. Past couple of posts are just a little out of track! come on!
Haiku #56414, by orwupiuo of USA
May 1, 2017 4:51 am ET

submit your poems for coney's loft:
Haiku #56413, by JAMES of FAMOUS
April 30, 2017 5:33 pm ET

under pavement
lies the public's
manifesto of doubt
Haiku #56412, by Richard Apper of Tokyo
April 30, 2017 5:31 pm ET

no, the irs
is too busy going on
with right wing tax dodge

crap, the aliens just
want to play with Cartman's ass
so dont you worry
Haiku #56411, by vhs
April 30, 2017 2:21 pm ET

If I write something here will the aliens and the IRS come get me?
Haiku #56410, by Anonymous Poet
April 30, 2017 3:33 am ET

will we have naked
lunch spam, bots posting spam to
one another once

our lonely race who
invented The Machines are
but scrap in the past
Haiku #56409, by vhs
April 29, 2017 1:46 pm ET

i didn't know andre
had written spam after the
immoralist but

who knows, who gives
Haiku #56408, by vhs
April 28, 2017 3:07 pm ET