Why are poets gay?
They think pens are penises.
And so hold them close.

Masturbating rules!
Spanking it beats sex with you.
He said to his wife.

I suck hamburgers.
Erotic cow grease dribbles.
With condom French fries.

Ice cream lubricant.
Peanut butter and KY.
Inappropriate.

Balcony pot shot.
Ten story sex food aiming.
Various targets.

Security guard!
Seven hundred points.
He should wear a hat.

His wife just left him.
She is having an affair.
With his fat sister.

He would have been glad,
but now his ex will get half
the inheritance.

Ants in the tropics.
They get in one's underwear,
biting tender parts.

"You are so stupid."
"You are a worthless turd ball."
This ain't about you!

You just don't get it.
You should bungee jump sans rope.
No, I don't mean you.

The one behind you.
That's who I'm talking about.
No, the other one!

God! Fucking wake up.
Now pay attention shit bag.
This ain't about you!

Mandingleberry.
Ebola Cola toilet.
Bloody hemorrhage.

Refreshing virus
carbonated beverage
that just might kill you.

The death toll is past
Eleven thousand humans.
Will China be next?

Hating is pure work.
Battling an uphill force.
And work is stupid.

Here there is no hate.
Nor is there one ounce of love.
Only apathy.

But in a good way.
Prepare yourself to let go
all you fear to lose.

If you care too much,
then you are doomed to failure.
Time for me to poop.

The soul becomes dyed
with the color of its thoughts
M. Aurelius

Hating is lazy.
Relating requires more effort,
and real intellect.

So Darth, it's up to you;
you want this place to yourself?
keep on keeping on.

i like to keep it
going, sometimes it is fun
look in the mirror

i have also learned
to value other lives that may or
may not value theirs

don't try to throw me
back down the path of some who
think it's that easy

i value my life
even if you don't, so don't make
me learn to hate you

it's not in my faith
it's what i am trying to kill
inside me through CHRIST

it''s why i haven't
taken my own life, i believe that
hell is eternal

i am not sure if
i should stop posting i mean
you seem to want the

place to yourself, but
if i moved on my life goes on
and you post more...stuff

what is this stuff? is
this the same as the guy who
holds court on the side

of a street saying
"homeless please help me"
hmm deeper meaning??

I'm sure you share the
same lovely comments with those
in real life you love

but it is perhaps
why you are here, they have moved
on to kinder realms

Despite the fact that
sea cucumbers have no brains,
they're smarter than you.

It's funny how that
stupid people cannot see
how useless they are.

Suicide is quick.
It is painless if done right.
Google it and see.

google, now there's a
group that we have to say wants
to own us like we

we're it's software, drones
a Satanic company
how do you do folks...

I don't believe you.
If you reeeeeally love me;
you give me password

i have also been
told love something while you can
but a used towel?

it does say of course
dont panic but i would say
some things must pass on

overbearing people
do not realize even till
death the relief their

passing gives to the
overburdened upon, the
anchor cast aside

On their wedding night
did Leia wear her two-piece
to get Han turned on?

I'm touching myself.
But better myself than you.
I would do Jabba.

Jabba reminds me
of what Vogons should look like
before prosthetics.

Is there a worm hole
from HItchhiker's to Star Wars
universes then?

Apparently the
worms have found their long lost hole.
They will soon be here.

who shot first, greedo
or han solo? and why do
we worry on these

issues

A basket of squid.
Breaded, crispy, and deep-fried.
Mon Calamari.

Wasting energy.
What humans were made to do.
Why else are you here?

So much energy.
Wasting it on foolish things.
It is what we do.

Drink cup of coffee
Shove hot pocket down your pants
You'll get same result

Are your testes sad?
You need new Testicle Perk!
As seen on TV.

Make your balls happy.
Order now and receive a
FREE scrotum warmer.

changes are strangest
innovation shakes things up
retro, innovation?

in the future we
will listen to albums on
vinyl record disks

it goes away but
like anything it takes time
the mind gets cloudy

i don't quite feel it
too early in the morning
vertigo, fatigue

Do not fool yourself
Space aliens don't need shit
That's why they ain't here

Verile roosters, mate.
It's not love, it's barnyard porn.
The eggs are quite good.

But if you make quiche,
I'll lop off your criminals
to feed the new chicks.

Legal cockfighting.
Losing lots of cash while drunk
in South East Asia.

You may scoff at it.
Better times cannot be had.
Well, unless you win.

Give up your body.
The space aliens need you.
Anal probes aren't bad.

While in paradise,
life sucks the life out of me,
and not one thing else.

Life without sleep sucks.
It sucks like a Bangkok whore.
But it won't swallow.

Bleeding hedgehogs scream
The hot August sun beats down
The lawnmower wins

Sterile Chickens Mate
Their love produce no offspring
How can I eat eggs?

Haiku is old tool
Landlord fool peasant with it
Not me, Chairman Mao!

is it a game of
poetry pong one pass to
another, blip to blip?

back in the day there
was a text game of that sci
fi comedy with

the depressed robot
to hold tea and no tea at
the same time was seen

as deep philosophy
i think that's all i have to
say about that.. but

are we having fun
yet, well yes, well no percieved
believe it all true

Surf frozen water
Drop from a helicopter
Snowy mountain top

The surf board needs wax.
But will the shops be open?
Wax or no, surf's up.

well it's a busy
day for restaurants but of
course george carlin

would say something like
that as well, and now i have
to fill out five more...

Happy Mother's Day
Another fake holiday
Made up for profit

i am told by my
friend in NL they're closing
libraries. for say

budget reasons, i
think some people need to have
their careers put back

into fast food and
not politics because they
might actually work

i do have an old
blue towel that says don't
panic sewed into it

well i have seen some
pan galactic recipees
i think I'd try one

The girl was gorgeous.
She was way out of his league.
He tried anyway.