Bum Fights is my fave.
Next would be blowing shit up.
And ancient tunnels.

Perhaps that last one
explains my current marriage.
Ooo.. that was so bad.

Reaches in the fridge.
Slaps vhs with foot long.
Sub sandwich that is.

Insanity Now!
Release me from my demons,
or give me sandwich.

top five weird shit on
youtube videos when I
used to watch that show

alive from off
center and street of those say
alligators gave me

nightmares. then the band
tool showed up with prison sex
nostalgia for weird

church of the subgenius
and or truly weird sections
when the net was the

underground

disinfo

apparently a dead
chicken in a you tube vid
is an alien body

mysteriously
found located on the edge
of a woods somewhere

I keep using these
mibbit chats and the ads are
for Arabic or

Russian girlfriends
or some other sundry ad
or cookie junk mail

whatever the reason
and whatever the purpose
I am somewhat amused

I'm trying to find
nude pictures of Hillary
Clinton. Don't ask why.

sometimes though it will
become necessary to let
people go and go

into refelction
letting old people go in
their habits and let

the ballast sink and
fly on with wings of black and
leather, horns of onyx

Hillary Clinton
wants to become president
to sleep with interns.

I use two napkins
One for lap and one for mouth
Maybe one for nose

Momma used to say
"Ugly is as ugly does."
That bitch was ugly!

My soul is ugly.
My hole is also ugly.
They reflect themselves.

Smells also reflect.
Both soul and hole smell like shit.
Both need a big douche.

That's where you come in.
Clean me out, oh friend geyser.
Boiling spring water.

Warmed by hell fire.
Burn the sin right out of me.
I need to suffer.

I'm laughing so hard.
I would like some fried chicken.
And mashed potatoes.

What are you having?
Do you cook your own meals?
Or do you dine out?

These are not haiku
No, not even bad haiku
Ugly reflections

because they enjoyed
posting things, posting thoughts, but
pearls before swine huh

take my pearls elsewhere?

Why the fuck would one
post haiku on this website
unless bored to tears

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

short bored posts from folks
who are bored posting a few
messages on here

I did not do that.
So your wife has a remote
for your computer?

Wow, you are a chump.
Next she'll make you stop going
to the titty bars.

Super Bowl Fifty.
From both states with legal pot.
Super BOWL, get it?

well my machine just
shut itself off by remote
wow, what a surprise

What did you think of
Star Wars Episode VII?
Was that gay, or what?!

Recycled old plots.
In four out of the seven
a space station blew.

I was like, "Again?!"
Kylo Ren, Kylo Stimpy.
Rae needs a nude scene.

Lucas fucked up bad.
He should have given Star Wars
to Tarantino.

It's the light saber
that says Bad Motherfucker.
Mace Jules in the house!

Supreme Leader Snoke,
I mean, what a fucking joke!
Elmo's scarier.

Okay, I'll stop there.
I think it's time for my nap.
Blanky and Elmo.

you've figured out
over the years I am a Christian
so I have a kind

of different if flawed
world view, I mean do the logs

in the eyes of say
"df,"....we start with our
own minds, homes, spirits

egos, beer collections
south park reruns and bad
impressions of henry miller lists

You, vhs, no.
You are not worth the killing.
I would fart on you.

Hold you down and fart.
Right into your open mouth.
And inflate your lungs.

Seriously though.
I only hate parasites.
Yes, I would kill them.

Not only just kill,
but torture, maim, burn, and, well,
you get the idea.

The world's grown too small
to tolerate those that take
from the rest of us.

All thieves should be killed.
Strung up and mutilated.
Fed to the lions.

one time I was in
a poetry group and I
walked away and the

poetry group broke up
if it were just one person
posting, would this place

have nothing to say
nothing to declare, is there a
point to this evil?

we are if we can't
choose good or evil as a
certain English man

said nothing but say
Clockwork Oranges just wind
up toys with no will

and think about it
I don't smoke anything but
it used to be say

cigarettes, smoked a
lot during food service jobs
I work Relaix um

Cheateaux. You can say
The world is a lot more say
complex than a few

posts on a website
with some Internet haiku
people trying to

be like 8 Mile but
only in haiku form, how
far can one take this

over words?

I am trying to
make a point here with these say
poems as my fam

innocently pokes through
birthday party pictures and
shows me pics of a

pig that was just fed
I am horrified about
say Donald Trump

a populist voice
taking advantage of the fear
and anger out there

who will speak harsh words
next, I mean what happens here
isn't the same as it

was 10 years ago
when irony had a point
and it was pissed off

people posting and
flaming each other and like
parallel lines never

the twain shall meet
words words words words CAN harm or
they can heal, if one

believes in magick
or one believes in Christ but
die and go to hell

tell me what is it
like, but a reflection of
the evil life one

lived in their real time
(CS Lewis, The Great Divorce)

lets say you want to
take my life in real life could
you honestly wear

say the steel toed boots
crack my head open like say a
watermelon, could you

commit the act of
murder against a "subhuman"
like the KKK

Or Isis does the
whole dehumanizing excuse
are you any better

than "the white trash" and
are your words a true real life
threat I need to

pay attention to?
the price I pay for my art
who are you I think?

sublimely upright
politicians never lie
they just stand for things

"If I'm elected,
I promise to put an end
to all corruption."

vhs smokes crack
he stole a baby car seat
to sell and buy meth

indeed trash trash trash
better be nice or I'll smash
your hand blown glass pipe

when white trash trash trash
it is rather amusing
like Jerry Springer

but when they cost you
about ten thousand dollars
by trashing your house

then you want them dead
and I do mean burned alive
barbecue with screams

white trash are the one
group that people trash trash trash
like chavs in England

no comment...beware
we cast stones to the first yet
they cast back at us

Cops should be brutal.
But they should be so to whites.
White trash are bad news!

you know there was the
whole "cops are getting carried"
away thing but like all

mediums books sell
based on the big names or the
lurid details of

a horror horror
or the self help genre which
why fear and loathing

really sells your work

well I would like
to see old hands on here post
and of course a few

"hellos" like this might
be a large Dadaist piece
of art happening

hunter s. Thompson
comes to mind, of course save the
fear and loathing part

Hello!

Abnormal flatus.
Too frequent gas expulsions.
I blame Obama.

Rappers in their cribs.
They should wear Depends diapers.
Pants down to their knees.

"Kill the policemen,"
the lyrics thump from their cars
heard two blocks away.

"Gangsters" aren't so bad
as white trash meth addict thieves.
I could kill them all.

I mean flame throwers!
All the men, women, and kids.
They are not human.

And I pay taxes!
I wish cops would do their job.
Scum are invading!

raises eyebrows drop
me a trying to pay up
attention to this

listening to these
rappers yacking about their
crib and not follow

It ain't a movie.
Sure there's fiction on Jesus.
Movies are taboo.

I wish I knew why.
Wait, no, never mind -- I don't.
Huh huh huh.... More cock!

With my time machine
I would kidnap Jesus Christ
at the Last Supper.

I would bring him here
and drop him off at Time Square.
Now that is funny!

micheal Moorcock, ie
behold the man, just take a
look at the matter

tell me what you see

Teleporter sex.
Captain Kirk fucked Jesus Christ.
They were energized.

Time travel sci-fi.
It never includes Jesus.
Which is so stupid!

If you could go back,
and I mean any era,
you would see Jesus.

Am I fucking right?
But of course; I always am.
I would film Jesus.

What an awesome porn!
The First Cumming of The Christ.
Oh yeah -- boundaries.

Boundaries are gay.
That is what Neil told me.
He wore a pink dress.

The Sixty-Niners
will next play the Fudge Packers.
Winner plays Squealers.

Football is so gay.
Overgrown "men" slapping ass.
Just who is "Neil"?

Never mind.

I mean the dick jokes
shocking but what we got now
the fourth turning the

thing neil howe warned us
all about, the crisis now
I guess old Neil will

have to post haiku
too or sort of haiku and
throw me some pennies

i know you're just you
know being who you are but
boundaries man see

boundaries, don't talk
about sex, religion or
sports teams, family.

shit what else is there
to talk about, you know i'd go
on about Jesus and

Captain Kirk.

Chocolate penises.
The best Valentines Day gift.
Got a box for mom.

I thought the end of
retail was wal mart but now
its amazon but

will there be a thing
nostalgia wise and there will
be zayres, sears, ames, and

service merchandize
or borders, circuit city
video rental stores?

nostalgia

WE can ask if the
Gopher goes down the hole we
could suggest hentai

but Bill Murray might
have a problem with that plan
bill does hate gophers

(caddyshack)

Some might call it love.
Realists will call it lust.
Hershey's will profit.

In 13 more days
you'll get a new butt plug and
flavored body gel.

You mean Obama.
Or perhaps it's Donald Trump.
Or Lady Gaga.

Evil in the world...
The 2nd Law of Thermo.
It keeps getting worse.

Sir Video Tape,
we will join the dinosaurs.
And I'll have a laugh.

I would leave behind
some interesting fossils
and porno statues.

The next sentient life
to evolve on this planet
will say "What the fuck?!"