Telephone pole big.
Satisfy a blue whale.
Penile implant.

I don't need your love.
I need a million dollars.
Now go sell your ass.

I want to leave earth.
Launch me with bottle rockets.
Don't need life support.

That is one brave man.
I bet he's a real bad-ass.
Bad mother fucker.

This is not a haiku.
Fuck haikus and fuck you too.

Online gambling?
Only if there's cockfighting!
Must be live, of course.

You know what suck ass?
Combustion analysis.
Who cares what it is?!

Seven day old SPAM.
It is rather disgusting.
Please throw it away.

I'll breathe Hitler's farts,
and probably eat your shit.
Molecule or two?

God can eat my shit.
The universe is garbage.
It should be destroyed.

No one can tell me
Why we do the things we do
It all seems crazy

I fart near to far.
Continuous flatulence.
My ass creates mass.

Ev'ry breath you take
you breathe in Hitler's last fart.
Just one molecule.

Hello!

I fart in a jar
Then I close it up real quick
Save it for later

I fart in your car.
Picking old locks is easy.
Felony fart fun.

I fart in my car
It happens more than I want
My children giggle

Repeat offender
I still have nothing to say
So I go away

Empty space gets filled
random, poorly conceived thoughts.
Shadows of regrets

Earth worms are soothing.
Put one in your burnt penis.
Call me tomorrow.

The sunburnt penis aches.
It longs for air and vagina.
The soft flesh peels off.

My urethra is gaping.
Spread like a wet horse cunt.
Like your grandmother.

Interview questions:
Who is your favorite band?
Ever kill someone?

To be skinned is bliss.
Turned inside out like a glove.
Guts lying at feet.

Like rhinestone cowboy
Daddy go rodeo ham
Stink spangled insult

I have to go poop.
I'll be right back afterwards.
See, I am now back.

I did not fall in.
That could never have happened.
My ass is too wide.

Try using wetwipes.
They're way better than TP.
Your ass will feel great.

Viruses and spam.
Scam and sham, no thank you, ma'am.
Burn in hell, Goddamn!

I offer to you
Haiku about sudoku
It's logic, not math

We're born from the sea.
Origins that smell of fish.
You must love sushi.

He owns a mouser.
I thought that he meant a cat,
not a gay sex slave.

Things I think about.
If ev'ry sperm became man.
Outnumber the stars.

wat little i know
reflects wat little i learn,
wat little i care

Hello!
My penis fell off.
Please let me borrow some glue.
Epoxy is fine.

how do haikus work
could someone educate me
do they go like this

my giant penis
just kidding i dont have one
this makes me depressed

one two three four five
two three four five six seven
one two three four five

Vaginal prolapse.
Arby's roast beef sandwiches.
There's no difference.

some got silicon
i'm chesty in my own way
with yellow mucus

Music listening
helps my mind mend mad mistakes
Can't go back in time

Eventually,
everything comes to an end.
Even this haiku.

Pacquiao will die.
Mayweather will also die.
Everyone will die.

Hey, your step sister
looks exactly like my mom
Small world after all

She's my step sister!
And we are deeply in love.
Mind your own business.

Lots of people care!
More than they love poetry.
Get off your sister.

Will Pacquiao win?
Or will it be Mayweather?
Who gives a rat's ass!

Post influenza
thick Nickelodian slime
fills my sinuses.

Common signature.
Always writes about douche bags.
His wife should get one.

Flatulent old toad.
Croaks his rancid methane belch.
Global warming frogs.

people on streets
robes attire ford
blame canada

Inside the roof.
Under the clouds.