Mind. Your. Own. Business.
Else. You. Are. Just. A. Douchebag.
Dingleberry-breath.

Important suffix
Semicolon, period
Commas are the worst

Where are the spammers?
Did the FBI trick work?
Oh, I wish; if only!

Go to the spam websites and in their "contact" link type in an FBI or DEA phone number for them to call back. I did that a few times on those scam loan links and scam pill links. I wonder if they called the FBI and DEA. That would be funny! Damn, I'm an evil fucker. I love being evil. And cannibalism is like soooo 1995.

It's Saturday night
I'm making stupid poems
I party soooo hard!

goodbye

goodbye

goodbye

goodbye

Okay, here's an idea....
On these spam websites is a contact page.
You can click that and send them rude messages, but what good will that do? Waste of time.

However, I think it would be interesting to send them what might seem a legit message to (1) waste their time and (2) for a return contact phone number put the phone number of your local FBI, ATF, DEA offices and/or even local police.

So, that's what I've been doing. Make these cocksucking mail order med spam companies call the DEA offices. How hilarious is that?

Just like King Elvis.
They will die taking a shit.
And I'll sell tickets.

And before they die
pour scalding coffee down them.
They'll shit out their lives.

Not but blind torsos.
Blind and deaf with charcoal stumps.
Then starve them to death.

Adrenaline shots
so they can't go into shock.
Gouge out both their eyes!

Get the blow torches!
Tie them down; burn off their limbs.
Inject them with meth.

Now there is no spam.
I can be a douche bag too.
"Sorry but" "Hello".

chemistry is hard
hard like this damn chair on
buttermilk pancake

I'll spell it backwards
noitcnufsyd elitcere
keep spammers away!

frothy water pic
google+ is such a waste
roast beef or turkey

falling rice bags kill
I need to go brush my teeth
yo momma so fat!

induced suicide
teen girls overusing like
struck with a tuna

only eight more now
it's universal conquest
or something like that

why are you laughing
does this then make you happy
eat a big booger

and in walks Jesus
where can I get some free beer
torture is not nice

I can't think of it
Bad Haiku: (necessary)
I do not know why

is there comedy
he's wearing a business suit
clowns are like boring

no it didn't work
so here is a new haiku
you are so welcome

can I submit nil
lets see on the next haiku
well here goes nothing

I'm almost done now
the new novel will be bad
Do you like apples?

Japanimation
octopi orgasmic show
exploding lizard

all these stupid words
what does she think of when she
I don't think I should

Fuck fuck fuck! *Star Wars*
We can always start a war
the Dow Jones rises

where is the lobster
I don't think I can do this
Start Wars aliens

the sky opens up
listen to the money fly
butter makes you fat

I have work to do
fish scales are bad for you
I'd eat her pussy!

I only know this
lack of fiber clogs your butt
street lights shining down

Janis can't keep up
she overdosed on Flintstones
aluminum cans

well it isn't art
you need to go somewhere else
don't forget the milk

I'm only half done
why is the bank always closed
I need to go pee

and in walks a nun
how many bombs can we buy
i like braum's ice cream

I need more money
the biggest known prime will do
pi buys a coffee

now we should say this
suffleupagus ball hairs
better than "hello"

i don't unerstand
why they always say hello
we need a new one

fill it with nonsense
the Japanese eat it up
periods are dumb

get rid of the spam
a brand new can opener
recycle that shit

someone please stop me
there's a fly that I must kill
my butt is tired

my wiener is small
what popsicles do you like
gutters overflow

bar codes on produce
genetically modified
born with a tattoo

turbulent water
and other ginormous words
et cetera poop.

here's another five
checkout line conversations
ugly blue leg veins

old people fall down
I like to eat calcium
give me all the gold