it feels like that those
folks who survived the hope and
excess of xxx

get more toned down but
I wish today's gen knew what is
being lost with all

their twitter twatter

why do these great minds
decide to give in to some
moment of weakness

and just leave as their
epitaph a few tortured words
on line or on page?

if i were to end
my existence like hunter
or ernest before

I became a name
would i become a legend
if I blew my brains

out after a few books?
or what if I didn't do that
and decided life is

worth living? why do they
kill themselves, isn't suicide
a fucking cliche?

style is style, I like
letting it out shouting out
freestyle fun, floating

what if I actually do
fucking keel over and die?
that'll give you one less

person to fuck around with huh?

Ronald McDonald
and the Hamburglar affair.
Tabloid scandal sleaze.

Give thanks to Jesus!
Twenty plus centuries past.
Christ the King was born!

Shout it from the rooftops or get wrapped up in your Christmas wrapping.

"Hey, Santa, pass us that bottle will ya' ?" -- Jethro Tull

Slow down a little.
Or hand a sign on your neck:
All fucked up on meth.

(Or coffee and Dunkin Donuts, same thing really.)

Food anti-culture.
Hot dogs and cheap Budweiser.
Bloated belly belch.

Ah, what have we here.
While pig's away, sheep will play.
I work way to much!

So, VHS, on a serious note and all bullshit and fuckoffery aside. You seem like you're easily angered by low-lifes and assholes and I just hope you take care of yourself because, well, we don't want you keeling over on us. Ppl who get so pissed off at things tend to have hypertension. Just take care of yourself is all I'm saying. I was having that problem myself, but mostly from overwork and not eating right. (Back to the food culture thingy.) Relax, laugh, enjoy life. Regardless of how bad you think things may be, you can still get out for some fresh air. Do it now. The internet can suck the life out of you if you let it.... Okay, more work coming in. F. Big F.

Smoke. Smoke smoke, smoke smoke Smoke smoke, smoke-smoke-smoke, smoke. Smoke. Smoke smoke, smoke smoke. Dope.

team so and so
versus team such and such and
i don't wanna play

werewolfs and vampeers
and wtf happened to
the masquerade? shit

replaced by the worm
sparkly vampires and lycans
but ain't that fans

fantasy lovers all
woof woof and bite bite
and mine's methodist

unto me you got
the cd and the vinyl
recording spirit flesh

because some of the
haiku is actually "good"
before facebook whores

took over the net
and don't know no bettah and
twitter about facebook

you have the same god
damned contempt for poetry
I do food culture

we're fucking people
who showed up here over the
years and I can ask

you who are "evil"
who the fuck are you, if you
are you are, so shut

the zen up and add
your own crap to this so called
badhaiku.com site

What the fuck happened?
Where is all the poetry?
Aren't you all poets?

I'm not inspired.
I think I'll take a big poop.
And then I'll eat it.

Yummy yum yum yum.
Juicy brown poop in my tum.
Recycling food.

I'm wanting "the past"
to come back as a big well
appreciation

for irony and
how that can go along with
sincerity bites.

not sure who sheena
is but this one is a man in
theory on this end

Sheena? Is that you?
Now posting as... VHS?
A blast from the past.

I'm still here, I just
take different forms and post
slip sliding away

A decade later.
Does Grandma still have a cock?
What else have I missed?

Something is wrong here.
We want to know what it is
Can someone tell us?

Bowling for dollars
Might make me wanna holler
Caucasian scholar

Ten plus years have passed,
What has become of Sheena?
Ash? Anybody?

and do not forget
the punch bowl, wassailing
the senses and the lights...

(it it rum or vodka, but make mine a causausian larry)

sing hallelujah !
first we had divine presence
then divine presents

formatting atwist
what horrid gremlin is this?
my ill fingertips?

Shirley, you're joking!
Sorry, I had to say that.
Yeah, dogs are nasty.

Were there shiny strings
of aluminum Christmas
icicles in it?

Make me believe it.
Add these little details.
Make me see the puke.

;-) Merry Christmas!

Cat barfed a hairball
Dog ate this disgusting thing
Nasty animals

Buy me an ipad!
Buy it or I won't love you!
Merry Christmas, dad!

i guess the lights are
out and the commercial
idols of this time glow

What does Jesus mean
in your life and existence?
Do you pray often?

How miraculous
it must have been to witness
live the virgin birth!

But there were no pigs
in that Bethleham manger.
Just wise men and sheep.

Let's get Christmas-y!
Hark hear the bells and all that.
Come on VHS!

i can hear mister
george constanza right now in
my mind screaming out

loud "SERENITY NOW!!!!"
and we can add a few
more of those to that

as for you mister
pig, i am not meant to bear
your cross, or you mine

either bear your own, or
drop it off and leave it where
those sorts of things go

i was feeling real
hopeless enough to forget
those very words

John Three sixteen.
Don't ever forget these words.
And enter heaven.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

you can have a nice
literary career for a
tabloid press in england

df, i am sure

but i can't i just
won't shut up, i must add more
and more and more the

flow of words just can't
stop, like the id just had a
major orgasm

all right, i think i
need to try the silent thing
and leave this guy here

he's having way too
much fun riling me up and
enjoying the noise

i do not want to
go down the path you have made
for it seems a waste

god damn it, i don't
have an answer, it's times like
that I just want to

shut the fuck up and
let the voice that seems to get
my mind riled up just

speak to nothing, I
mean why do we come back to
folks who would be more

than happy to see me
in a box, dead, not caring
about life or death for

either he is dead
or he is a sociopath
a human hard on...

isn't the internet fucking wonderful

he seems to know the
buttons to push up and down
I was cured all right...

Jesus loves you all.
No matter how much you sin.
Believe and be saved!

The anger and rage
Simmers below the surface
Must control the beast

Prison's not so bad.
Exercise, three hots and cot.
And sex in showers.

Lots of time to read.
And meditate or yoga.
All paid for by you!

oh well, not my deal
not my problem, not my stick
not my time or place

I only write lies.
And that is the complete truth.
Really, I mean it!

I found a wallet.
It had one-fifty-two cash.
Chris Morris' loss.

I took out the cash.
And tossed wallet in gutter.
Don't want credit cards.

Stolen credit cards
are for crack-heads who want to
get thrown in prison.

Early Christmas gift.
So if you know Chris Morris,
tell him I said thanks.





































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































I bet VHS believes all that! Ha ha ha ha!!!
He's so silly!
Hey, VHS, when are you going to Western Union that money to me? I'm in dire need. I lost my wallet and I'm stuck in a train station in Europe. No, really!

Remove stick from ass.
Bury it way deep in hole.
Live your life, not mine.

then again maybe when
my inner volcano bursts
magma turns to words

just leave me alone
said the last haiku but when
the time comes when you

want a loved one if
you are CAPABLE of love
you will hunger well

and satan laughing spreads his wings but you've heard that chestnut too