small lizards scatter
mambas lurk in the green bush
i need a shower

nothing personal
but i'm not talking to you
or to someone else

There's one golden rule
"Don't start land wars in Asia"
There. Is that so hard?

Poets are liars
Haikuists tell only truth
Odd that both are true

We are so lonely
Lonely - we live as we breathe
As we breathe, alone

Fuck this, today's half
gone and all I've done is come
downstairs to make tea.

You talkin' to me?
For this type of (bad) haiku
just counting's required.

no conversation
i'm not sure you have the skills
not that i can tell

Familiar has just
three syllables the way that
I say it, so there!

Words work hard for me:
Echelons, gnomicism,
Troglodyte, Frisbee.

My girl is love sick.
Does that make me an illness
infecting a wound?

Haiku: thoughts and words
Thoughts that breathe, and words that burn
Not the crap I write

Paracetamol,
gets u well. Hugs and kisses
make you feel better!!

Through my elbow skin
You can feel a screw - I'm
metalled up inside.

I love the way you
walk, with purpose; love how you
smile, and blow kisses.

Isn't it strange that
someone you've just met can feel
So damned familiar?

I was hungover.
You made me feel much better
with your slow kisses.

It's twenty past one
and raining outside. Pass time
writing Bad Haiku.

You want to know me?
Truth is you can

ah, young limerence
romantic priapism
then nihilism

My girl can Haiku!!
My goddess of poetry,
with lovely boobies!!

Most of my poems
are too long to put on here,
so I wrote this one.

Can

If only all cocks
were as lovely as yours babe,
more girls would suck cock.

Moribund Cretins
Etymology: Christians
Bound for God's right flank

the west can't resile
if they think you'll go fissile
it's hit or missile

stop wailing japan
it's scientific research
no need to blubber

My new girl is great!
day and night she makes me smile!
(And she sucks my cock)!

Independance Day
Happy Birthday U.S.A.
Born on July 4th

Independance Day
Will and Jeff helped save the World
Kicked alien ass

-- Inspired by the movie ID4

i am above you
but i might be below you
wherever i am

I know little
Of your lives - filtered as they
Are through bad haiku.

Who are you? Where? Why?
Serbo-Croats, Canadians
and sundry others.

Please tell me about
Yourselves through bad haiku.
I am curious.

I am Phlegmy - I
Expectorate. Now your
Turn: 5 - 7 - 5.

That's how much you get
To tell me who you are, your
Essence, etc.

Deep very deep man
Hammers and hairs scary man
You use nail polish?

Deep very deep man
Hammers and hairs scary man
You use nail polish?

the wind blows my hair
my hair begins to give up
now my head is clear

pull out my hammer
sharpen those iron nails
deliver them home

I un-screw the top
and stick my hands together
now I cannot clap

random thoughts persist
though i have nothing to say
you aren't listening

Stupidity falls.
Joy burns but wonder returns.
Spring splashes angels.

"What happens to the..."

SHITTING OUR PANTS
BEFORE THE AMERICAN MIGHT
THE SERBIAN SHITHEADS
***
WE STOP AND SPLIT THE BUCK
OUR PROTECTED ASSES
WE DON'T GIVE A JOB!

Whose dogs are attacking
Belgrade, Serbia
American or local patriots'

Her lips on my dick
Ejaculate in her mouth
She gives good Blowjobs

silent "c" in rap
whack you with a haiku slap
don't you write such pap

My favourite foods:
Jam, cottage cheese, and herring
(Not at the same time).

It's Canada Day
Stupid nationalism
Is a waste of time

F-u M. Fish and your masters
You've done it on purpose
I lost my f-bet bitch

time I do not have!
I give mine to others free
but get little back

lacking coherence
random thoughts accumulate
miscellaneous

The smooth armies talk.
Sheep break however hell walks.
Apples kiss midday.

we have time machines
memories take us backward
dreams take us forward

So off we all go
I'll make em scream; meanwhile all
you clowns do is dream

Girlies all smilin
and out of breath; squeezin their
tender, ample breasts

They're so ready
for what comes next; they all know
that it's rated X