have to blow dry hair
frown on it drying stupid
stupid, stupid hair.

head slammed into wall
Shinkuu will not let me smoke
value my lips though...

my roommate should wash
brushes his teeth, but no toothpaste
showers twice a week

love is big pussy?
directions on pixie stick
garuntee some sweet

Skiing On A Slope
Kennedy and S. Bono
"Watch Out Fot That Tree"

Skiing On A Slope
Kennedy and S. Bono
"Watch Out Fot That Tree"

Skiing On A Slope
Kennedy and S. Bono
"Watch Out Fot That Tree"

Skiing On A Slope
Kennedy and S. Bono
"Watch Out Fot That Tree"

Please give me chicken
Please give me oil
Pee-Pee

suck suck suck suck spit
suck suck suck suck suck suck spit
suck suck suck suck spit

Three strikes and you're out.
Just three?! But I want four strikes
Sorry, pal. No such luck.

Tell you what I want
What I really, really want
No more Spice Girls' stuff

IT's Rap Haiku, It iS,
Words wiTh fuNk thAt, sKip and juMp,
That's rAp haiKu, iT is

8- stanza spamphlet
What is this strange word?
Etiology stings me

the cat sprayed the couch...
and the dog needs neutering...
another fine day

haiku; an art form
short, concise, a complete thought
in seventeen syl...........

Jesus spake "Let he
without sin cast the first stone.
Ow!!! Now stop that Mom !!!"

in out in out in
out in out in out in out
in out in out done

Pity the poor French
going nowhere since they cut
all the smart heads off

"Wait! I changed my mind!
I don't want to die for you."
Thusly spake Jesus.

Stucky the pig had
Happy fun life before shipped
To meat packing plant

What is all this shit?
I'm dying on a wood pole
For you? Selfish slut!

Ray, Stan, Gary, Mike
Clipper, Peehole, Clyde, Irving.
Males I have killed.

I am mister tough.
Witness my toughness. I sure
Be tough. Bow or die.

Beef is real food
Beef is for real people
Beef is your best friend

Sparks when rip off head!
Violence is fun, Taz says.
What can it be, hmm?

Roommate likes anus
Rats under fridge flip jolly
Dude give 'nother tab

KIDS TODAY
Dude dude dude dude dude
Dude dude dude dude dude dude dude
Dude dude dude hella

Trouble in badlands
I evil! Go kill! Unga
Splat landscape. Hungry?

Trouble in badlands I evil! Go kill! Unga Splat landscape. Hungry?

Bitch gave me an itch
Bought a motherfucking gun
Bitch is gonna die

I got me a whore
Threw her up against the door
Pimpin' ain't easy

Got a gun in hand
Motherfucking killing spree
Dare to come by me

This R2 has a
bad motivator unit.
I want my sun deck!

make sure that you leave
those br tags after each
line of your Haiku

the pond is rippled
by the splash of his landing:
a naked fat guy.

that dave guy is not
writing haiku. luckily
i have a pistol.

wonderful pig
beckoning sweetly in the sun
rooting anyone?

Letter to The President
Nuclear disaster master baiter, hater of all things with wings like birds and turds.
HEY!Turds don't fly!
They do when they hit the fan man, so don't reach for the button or I'll be cuttin' off your finger; I'd like to

They print anything.
Even the crap that I write.
How stupid are they?

The frog will not splish
Til the Holy Toad of Death
thinks it's time to croak.

So dumb the haiku
Ha, never to be finished
If you can't start it

See other email

Magnum
Soul cramp forty ounce
pissing laced tears, cigarette
filthy mouths swallow
Sinning songs above
he came inside me, somehow
sickly journeys past
Blunt shiver, deep sky
passion amidst mortal girth

Haiku # 314, October 29, 1997 2:15 pm ET

by Matthew Rodbro of Oxford, USA