skiing with my love
beautiful girl, hot tub, snow
must survive 'till then

only one left now
no idea what to study
b.s. like a pro...

fullbusted finals...
prostate exam is more fun
see them all in hell

ma'm you got ID?
aussie post gone bananas
was posting a toy

depression sinks in
isolation, lonliness...
santa's not coming!

saddam=evil
bush=good?
me=confused

comodify the
holiday sprit, buy gifts,
and drain the wallet!

methods unlike fonz
unleash the grand royal spear
thoughout handbasket

ship of state - titanic
oh captain - exxon valdez
drunk at the wheel, watchout!

not enough shoes! more walmarts!
not enough oil! attack the evil axis!
not enough lumber! too many trees!

bankrupt situations,
third world vacations and bougie pain
reality television?

war, games, flags, penants,
sanitized, televised, painless,
you know, like the superbowl

whine whine, moan moan,
i hate people sometimes,
wait, come back!

this evening of smog
vibrant brown sky, and crickets
Stupid Useless Vehicles

somewhere
little boys
are making my shoes

unbaited hooks in the water
pens with no ink
voting in florida

allegra and liberty
i dance in grassy fields
(may cause anal-leakage)

pterydactyl bones
biding their time
my leisure is deadly serious

shimmering waves of hair
caught like fish in aquanet
DANCE PARTY USA

crisp winter day
stepping on landmines
look, my leg is in a tree!

Grand wizened one
A Lott thanks him
what is the sound of ignorance?

the season that shines
in non-vibrant areas
means its time to go

why the hell are you
people so damn quiet?...time
to write more haiku!

most unusual
quiet at haiku central
shopping for christmas?

unforgettable
my reminiscences of
whatyermacallit

actually, strom
is a true living fossil
like the coelancanth

Strom Strom Strom Strom Strom
Strom Strom Strom Strom Strom Strom Strom
once part of X-Men

new life slips into
our family and our world
we shall call him Strom

morning of sadness
disaster under the tree
N*Sync for Christmas

To want for Christmas
the tradition of yule tide
spay Adam Sandler

Ted's out, Clay's in...what
kind of pyscho-sexual
hold does this man have?

wife paints clown picture
bad painting; what can be done?
sell it on ebay

satisfaction Mick
wanna get my kicks 'n licks
get your ya ya's out

it was fun fun fun
was busy doin' nothing
good timin' Brian


wouldn't it be nice
to do it all again friends
good vibes forever

commercial beat up
christmas is a load of bull
santa gertrudis ?

once upon a time
nothing wold sneak up on me
now it is christmas


I heard jingle bells
while shopping for groceries
made my eyes glitter

breaking waves
sounds of
sampled time

veil of snow
covers the ground
cracks are still seen

you use too much paint
you paint too fast
off to the south seas

horoscope: Virgo
but reading those "horoscopes"
take Leo's instead

my horoscope says
"speak using a hand puppet"
must ask for a raise

Soothsay Thursday, Clay's
outstay play decays..Gray J
way may flay, pray, bray

shadows formed
from lighting thrown
darkness still surrounds

new haiku method:
begin with random letters,
delete non-haiku

Some of them just bad
Some of them horribly bad -
One hundred haiku

Give up bad habits
and pick up only good deeds -
Ask and request peace

Whatever the goal -
Only acceptable means
can bring to success

Apri la Tua man,
nutri ogni vivente -
Celeste bonta'

Grazie al Cielo
c'e' abbondante scelta -
Dubbi per ricchi

Cavoli, pesce,
Spinaci e broccoli -
Fino a quando?