Fat little piggies,
Squished into sensible shoes,
To sniff them, divine.

Dishwater blonde hair
Pink lipstick, fingernails
Are her toes pink too?

Titty waitress grins,
"So you'll be having the same?"
She's a cutie gal!

darcy or edward
fitzwilliam or rochester
hard to chose between

Yahoo! oh Yahoo!
what would I do without you
maybe read a book

Sometimes my eyes close
Hear the machine sounds collide
Why do I work here?

Oh captain pooper
How your litter box a mess
All abandon ship!!

taming the tiger?
"Life of Pi", by Yann Martel
Booker Prize winner

old magnolia weeps
standing alone in the wind
October's leaving

Haiku oh haiku
I wish I could write you good
mine all seem to suck!

for almost six years
and some twenty-three thousand
shitloads of haiku

bibble bibble bibble
booby bing bong
a cup of coffee

The Neon Bible sparks
Renaissance in John K. Toole
Alas, a burned-out bulb

Cheaply drawn and scribed
But what genius it was to
Name a bear, Boo-boo

More a disciple
Of Hanna Barbera's school
Sheriff Bing-bing-bing!

What to do with Taz?
Is it A.D.D. or Do
we need a time-out?

Speedy's Gardening
Can mow your lawn twice as fast
as competitors.

Mr. LePew, "No"
does mean "No"! Doesn't matter
how white her stripe is.

I know this is hard
Tweety, but did Sylvester
ever touch your puddy?

Mr. Runner and
Coyote, Please welcome to
Couples Counseling.

D.Duck: Please take (two)
every (8) hours until
daffiness subsides.

Next on Springer show
cross-dressing rabbits and the
Elmers who love them

Looney Tunes '02
I'm Porky and I stutter
Hi Hi Hi Porky!

Good thesis topic
The therapeutic effect
Of a wet dog nose

Dog nudges my leg
Tickles my toes with his tongue
Someone wants a walk

Dog nudges my leg
Tickles my toes his tongue
Someone wants a walk

Man am I pissy
Network crashed on me again
Sure could use a jay

"You have got mail"
Prolly more spam to irk me
Fuck a duck, X-12

Modems screaming to
Negotiate a handshake
Login, already!

chicken lo mein, no
fried kitty over easy
yes, it is all true

angry parakeet
screams in my ear, in my back
big blue-white foghorn

oh what great big pile
oh what great brown stinking pile
flush brings big stink end

poopy poopy poo
pee doo so much poopy don't
know what I can do

I am gone for now
but have no fear, cuz I know
I will be back soon

Of course we all know
what I just wrote is way wrong
cuz I NEVER think!!

Alone here I sit
no one to write haikus with
I think I will leave

He is gone for now
writing bad haikus no more
about nasty poo

Have you ran away
Did you go to Taco Bell
What about Bloating?

I just dont get it
OH, what is it with all mens
obsession with POO

Ah how I've missed you
as you write all your haikus
about your poopy

number of posts fade
It's how many times you say
shit shit shit shit shit

This you must accept
men are men, women are too
and poo is still poo

dead men can't buy things
consume excessive warm beer
or pee standing up

POOPY TIME HAS COME
under a new name, but yet
you are still the same

The waves of cold sweat
Too Long have we been away
Poopy time has come

they are Annoying
Not all men are annoying.
Some of them are dead

Radio is on
Beatles pour out the speakers
Why do we love them

well look whos come back
A guy call Saint, who likes to
write about his POO!

bow down to you -Ash
sixteen hundred fifty four
haikus you have wrote
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I bow at your feet
You are the Haiku God, that
I will try to beat
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know that I can't
write more Haikus than you have
its fun to try though

Very much bloated
Asked to go to Taco Bell
But I must decline.