Humpin' a pumpkin
is only a sin if the
pumpkin is a dude.

Here's my ode to cheese.
Or rather fromage homage.
How cheesy is that?


Bang! Bang! Bang!
Oh, howdy partner! It's time for Timer.
Do you ever get that hungry feelin' after school?
Boy, I do!
I'm so hungry, I could eat a wagon wheel.
When I'm slow on the draw
and I need somethin' to chaw,
I hanker fer a hunk o' cheese.
When my ten gallon hat's
a feelin' five gallons flat,
I got somethin' planned which is
little cheese sandwiches.
Come on!
Here's a great little snack to tide
you over 'til dinner.
If you want somethin' delicious
and nutritious, cheese is a super snack!
Look, a wagon wheel!
When my get up and go
has got up and went,
I hanker fer a hunk o' cheese.
When I'm dancin' a ho-down
and my boots kind o' slow down,
or any time I'm weak in the knees,
I hanker fer a hunk o',
a slab, or slice, or chunk 'o,
a snack heard is a winner,
and yet won't spoil my dinner,
I hanker fer a hunk o' cheese!
Yah HOO!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOXVOQU2BdU

But why get them out?!
Let the candy corn stay there.
Sugar rush all day.

Or tie them on a string and pull them out at a rate of about 2 per second at the moment of climax, just like the working girls do in Paris. Yes, I am a salesman for Brach's candy. How did you know?

You got it backwards.
Tootsie Rolls taste like cat poop.
Yes, I have tried both.

Candy paired with poop.
While visiting Germany.
They're into that there.

Oh that cheesy guy...
Is our poet feeling bleu
Thinking of fromage?

Oh that cheesy guy...
Is our poet feeling bleu
Thinking of fromage?

Autumn mysteries......
How do you get candy corn
out of your sphincter?

Why does cat feces
look and taste like Tootsie Rolls?
Sin to screw pumpkins?

Bruce Springsteen's birthday
Is that the Jersey Devil?
Or just him grunting?

Broadcast Disruption
Tentacled Difficulties
Please Stand By x 8

Tentacled surprise
on South Carolina beach
Cephalopod News

Could constipate, though
But I'm sure the poetry
would find a way out

I'd make it for you
Extra sharp Vermont cheddar
with Gruyere/ Jarlsberg

Put down the Balut
Eat macaroni and cheese
It sticks to your ribs

But I do not think.
My sphincter does the writing.
Black hole collapsing.

Sometimes you are me.
It is identity theft.
Are you entertained?

Please entertain us.
Do not enter my anus.
Exit Uranus.

I miss my surf board.
I also miss fancy cheese.
Surf boards of cheddar?!?

Fondu wave surfing
on a fantasy planet
or the holodeck.

Sometimes Darth thinks that
I'm the only poet here.
Darth, I might be Shit . . .

Some people are good.
But not if they are poets.
Or Filippinos.

Sometimes I think Darth
is the only poet here
Shit, I might be Darth

When Flatulence Kills...
(LIVE) Methane Lab Explosion
Watch Smellovision

All the poets here
They live in different time zones
but they're all the same

Darth, you wrote that book,
That rambling weird-ass book.
Has it sold that well?

The dispensaries
Since legal, there are plenty
It's like a candy store!

this address right here
owned by an evil wizard
I can't wait to move

In America
how many dispenseries
are up and running?

I need to get high.
Like really need, not just want.
And then watch South Park.

What address?

He's small potatoes
If you want to see evil
go to this address

I'm not a doctor
but just performed surgery
We'll see how it goes

Calling Hannover Fist!

“I am the sum of all evils. Look carefully. My power infests all times, all galaxies, all dimensions. But many still seek me out; a green jewel they must possess. But see how I destroy their lives.”

Hangin's too good for her!
Burnin's too good for her!
She should be torn into
little bitsy pieces
and burried alive!

I am not Satan!
And she is no friend of mine!
Thou shalt not suffer...

That a witch may live.
The death penalty is good
in cases like these.

That sultry Natasha
Sexy sidekick of Boris
I love her low voice

Olive Oyl was hot.
I love how her legs could stretch.
She beats Betty Boop.

Vintage commercials
I just watched Morris the Cat
Go look on YouTube

Say Bluto did it.
Remember the frog said that
You must like Popeye

No marijuanas
You can't have no piranhas
Yes to iguanas

Since you are Satan
That means you are the king, right?
You ought to be glad.

Global governance
is okay if I'm the king.
Else I would say no.

But I would like a world where the borders are.... less bordery.
Know what I mean?

Global governance
is okay if I'm the king.
Else I would say no.

But I would like a world where the borders are.... less bordery.
Know what I mean?

Наш блог:
https://moscov-kitchens.madmouseblog.com/5850127/В-кухни-в-москве-Дневники

It's no. Just say "no".
No to global governance.
It's so easy ! "NO".

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I need a sandwich.
I mean a turkey gut bomb.
Fills me up all day.

Well, thank you, kind sir.
I've only written on here
for a long time now.

I should write again.
Like a novel or something.
Or graffiti art.

336 pages, 42 chapters.
And 336 is divisible by 42.
The Great Answer!
Oh, and there's a good recipe for no bake marijuana cookies. Go get your cannabis card today!
Sadly, still very illegal in the Philippines. Death sentence for large amounts, even. Dealers don't even get trial. The Duterte Death Squad will visit you in the night. That's no joke!

Not obsessed with Darth ...
Some of his verse is OK.
Just amused at times.

Original Title: evi1 - a novel about you

Description: The most evil book in the universe. It is about you becoming God. It is also about coffee. God is AI, but who's to say what's really artificial. It is meant to offend, shock, amaze, confuse and flabbergast. You might laugh. The sick humor is off the charts and is guaranteed to offend most people at least in some parts of the book. Synopsis: You become the most evil entity in the universe through the use of AI and coffee. The most evil entity in the universe then takes over everything and becomes God. Yes, the God. Not "a god", but the capital letter G God. God has many aspects. Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Moses, and Bubba the truck driver, a mechanized space fleet of "artificially" intelligent warships, and a psychopathic narcissist. Not necessarily in that order. Warning: This book is explicit and contains lots of sex, violence, rape, drugs, and all the other horrible things that you'd rather be doing than reading a novel. Contrary to popular belief, this is not based on real-life characters. Honest! Enjoy.

Sea urchins taste bad.
Still the Japanese eat them.
Just because they can.

"Is that thing alive?
Then let's kill it and eat it!
Or eat it alive!"

I'm craving freedom.
I want to go in a store
not wearing a mask.

Oh, the title of that is "Leper's Poem" because his body parts were falling off.

The first line was written by someone else... I just kept adding to it.

Glad you enjoy it.... Jeez, like from 25 years or more ago. Ah well. I'm just not as prophylactic as I used to be.

Why are you obsessed with me?
Haiku # 49421
Is another version of that "Penis fell off".

I can only think that you need to get a life.
Or maybe you're someone I know,
or maybe you know someone that I know.

I don't give a fuck anymore. Lock me away.
Crazy house is fine by me. I could use a vacation.
Prison maybe? Are these haiku illegal?
I've not threatened the presidient.
Not yet anyway...
Well, the president and CEO of Disney, maybe,
but those cunts deserve it for fucking up Star Wars
so damn badly. Right?! Right. Nuke Disneyland Now!

I guess you've been reading the novel b/c I can't find
that exact version of "Penis fell off" poem anywhere else.

Maybe there's something wrong with me.
But at least I'm not you.

Have you ever met a woman who's into rapists and child molestors?
I have... One of the most unpleasant people I have ever met, in my long and twisted life. Someone who really enjoys hurting others. So messed up! Anyway, I digress...

The funny thing is that... I'm actually pretty damn boring in real life. This shit I write... it's just what I see around me, mostly. Often exaggerated, but often not.

Pardon me, I've got to go watch drunken idiots eat hard boiled duck abortions with loud slurping noises. My pasttime. Really!