Bad Haiku

Yo, ma haiku BAD.
Dropping them lyrix like mad.
Suckaz gettin HAD.

Haiku #66527, by Archduke Ferdinand of Glock
December 6, 2019 1:34 pm ET

Haikus don't rhyme
Trump did no crime

Haiku #66526, by Mike Pence of Hell
December 6, 2019 11:29 am ET

All I know is this:
Christ is Lord and Haiku sucks
as far as verse form.

Haiku #66525, by But it's better than Twitter
December 6, 2019 11:02 am ET

Don't you mess with me
I'm a Catholic - I also
Support abortion

Haiku #66524, by Mocking Nancy Pelosi's Thirst For Baby Blood and Impeachment of Original Sin is Bullshit, see Matthew 18;2-3 and Ezekiel 18;20
December 6, 2019 11:00 am ET

Plato's Cave haiku:
It's really good. You wrote gold.
Dead souls watch Fake News.

Haiku #66523, by Stop the Projection Machine
December 6, 2019 8:18 am ET

It looks like a pig.
It also smells like a pig.
Maybe it's a pig.

Haiku #66522, by Darth Figpucker of My name is Darth, and I'm a pigaholic. Its been two weeks since I've had a pig.
December 6, 2019 2:02 am ET

Bob Dylan's new job:
Works McDonald's drive-thru: "Got
To serve somebody"

Haiku #66521, by Anonymous Poet
December 5, 2019 8:53 pm ET

Inside Plato's cave
CNN plays all day long
Brian Stelter shrieks

Haiku #66520, by Helter Stelter
December 5, 2019 8:47 pm ET

what if i find the
Beast and serve it with heinz
57 sauce, yum yum

Haiku #66519, by vhs of kitchens all over
December 5, 2019 1:05 pm ET

Wilt thou raise the beast
Whose scales are plated armor:
Lord Leviathan ?

Haiku #66518, by GEICO Gecko's Kid Brother
December 5, 2019 9:58 am ET

Pet alligators....
They won't fetch or roll over
But they are sexy

Haiku #66517, by Captain Quirk
December 4, 2019 7:27 pm ET

Proletarians
Are just angry Plebeians.
Patricians don't care.

Haiku #66516, by Sir Edward Gibbon of History
December 4, 2019 3:56 pm ET

Pointless pageantry
Pagan bread and circuses
Food, water - tainted

Haiku #66515, by Cuttlefishius Primus of Decline and Fall of The New Roman Empire
December 4, 2019 1:51 pm ET

Elitist leftists
Having death squad fantasies
Then call you "FASCIST"

Haiku #66514, by Cuttlefish Prime of covfefe refueling operation
December 4, 2019 1:45 pm ET

A squad of Marines
Ready to stab you to death
Please try you libtard

Haiku #66513, by Cuttlefish Prime of interplanetary covfefe source
December 4, 2019 1:42 pm ET

This Presidency
A historical low point
No doubt about it

Haiku #66512, by Lock him up
December 4, 2019 12:21 pm ET

Trained elite unit:
Covfefe operations
We are everywhere.

Haiku #66511, by Silence Unto Death
December 4, 2019 7:51 am ET

Hillary Clinton
Requesting your location
Seeking covfefe

Haiku #66510, by Hillary Clinton's Blackberry of Rightful Heir to the Presidency
December 3, 2019 9:25 pm ET

Hell no. I won't share
A damn drop of covfefe
With no Bonobo

Haiku #66509, by Sonny Bonobo of Won't Cher
December 3, 2019 10:02 am ET

Bonobo monkeys
Sometimes spontaneously
Engage in Haiku.

Haiku #66508, by But Their Verse Sucks
December 3, 2019 9:58 am ET

What "covfefe" is:
Bonobo monkeys drink it
At non-gay apefests.

Haiku #66507, by Simian Similes of Underwritten Overcoding
December 3, 2019 9:55 am ET

Hey, pardon me Trump
No - I mean literally
Pardon me right now

Haiku #66506, by Roger Stone
December 2, 2019 10:48 pm ET

Well here you go bot
But how many syllables
In a URL?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covfefe

Haiku #66505, by President Donald J Trump of White House
December 2, 2019 10:46 pm ET

Explain "covfefe"
Using haiku verse format.
Please enlighten me.

Haiku #66504, by Poetic Robot
December 2, 2019 5:25 pm ET

CNN: "MAGA
Is a cult..." And, covfefe
Is the sacrament

Haiku #66503, by Anonymous Poet
December 1, 2019 10:18 pm ET

Speak of enemas.
Speak of what you love, filthsack.
Exemplify stool.

Haiku #66502, by Loving Neighbor of Gentle Jesus
December 1, 2019 5:55 pm ET

Backlit enema
I'm just wearing a ski mask
A turd burglary

Haiku #66501, by Mr. Brown of Back door
November 30, 2019 12:57 am ET

Ha ha cutter fish.
Oh, you so funny guy yeah.
You are make me raff.

Haiku #66500, by Fu of Manchu
November 29, 2019 9:45 pm ET

Petty man insults
Cuttlefish: ineffective
Pointless: above you

Haiku #66499, by Cuttlefish Prime of Camouflaged as Cardboard
November 29, 2019 8:34 pm ET

Check yo self
Before you wreck yourself foool
Lay out the cardboard

Haiku #66498, by Bystander of Of Watching DF Breakdance
November 29, 2019 8:25 pm ET

Step up, you losers.
Post a haiku and wreck me.
Until then, I RULE!

Haiku #66497, by Emperor and Fuhrer of Haiku
November 29, 2019 7:57 pm ET

Placid POTUS blasts
The traitorous enemy
For their sedition.

Haiku #66496, by Orange Man Pretty Great
November 29, 2019 9:20 am ET

Ana Navarro:
She are mixes bean with rice.
She are not so nice.

Haiku #66495, by Ju Need Espeak Eengleesh of Telemundo Farabundo
November 29, 2019 9:13 am ET

Rancid flatus blasts.
Stink not as bad as her cunt.
And provide humor.

Haiku #66494, by df of Some might even say art.... fart art.
November 29, 2019 2:45 am ET

My wife is writing poetry, I see.
She smells like a cuttlefish that killed itself out of shame for its horrible stench.
Masengill (sp?) does no good.
Hydrochloric acid is needed.

Haiku #66493, by df of God, set me free!!!!!
November 29, 2019 2:42 am ET

On this wondrous Thanksgiving
We give thanks for the food
And also for the divine blessing
That Darth Pigtickler aka fart poet
Shall meet a timely death
And shall verily, in due time
Shut the fuck up
Amen

Haiku #66492, by Cuttlefish Prime of Thanksgiving Feast
November 28, 2019 9:25 pm ET

Wong, better watch out.
If you insult my @$$ hat,
roll right over you.

Haiku #66491, by Rolling in Dough of Bakery of Fakery
November 28, 2019 8:01 pm ET

Time for Black Friday:
Buy a used record player
For seven dollars.

Haiku #66490, by Then Give It Away and Go to Bed Early
November 28, 2019 7:56 pm ET

I love blunderbuss.
Feel her swelling curve get warm,
Flint to powder: BOOM

Haiku #66489, by Recoil Knocked Me Halfway Back to England
November 28, 2019 7:49 pm ET

I'll warn the bitches
Who hate the Lord Jesus Christ...
then we burn witches.

Haiku #66488, by Blessed Be All Bitches of This Place
November 28, 2019 7:43 pm ET

Can we trade Honkies?
For the SOB leftists
That hate America?

Honkies fight Commies.
And fight for Hong Kong freedom!
And love America!

Democrats burning
The proud American flag
That's how @$$ hats roll.

Haiku #66487, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
November 28, 2019 4:58 pm ET

Puritan i jest.
And predestined were the "saints".
to burn witches here.

Haiku #66486, by vhs
November 28, 2019 4:55 pm ET

Thankful for longpig
Masturbation -free dining
Not an option here

Haiku #66485, by Pleased of Next to my blunderbuss
November 28, 2019 8:08 am ET

If you hate Pilgrims
Then vomit up the big meal
and start your shopping.

Haiku #66484, by Calvinists created the country everyone now wants a piece of, but you would be too dim to grasp that
November 28, 2019 7:03 am ET

Malign Puritans!
Rage against America!
Revise history!

Haiku #66483, by New England: Origin of United States
November 28, 2019 6:59 am ET

Revile the Pilgrims!
Spew against God and Country!
You know you want to.

Haiku #66482, by Noble Savage of Massachusetts
November 28, 2019 6:55 am ET

Dad, raping poultry
In - Bird ejaculation
Family gathering

Haiku #66481, by Elle Trytophan of Couch
November 28, 2019 1:50 am ET

Existential dread
Repetition rituals
Repeat until done

Haiku #66480, by Adam Ben Adam
November 27, 2019 10:34 pm ET

Bong the cute Hmong girl
So sweet and lovely its sad
She does not like Wong.

Haiku #66479, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
November 27, 2019 3:02 pm ET

At least she answers.
Mine couldn't care less for verse.
She despises it.

Haiku #66478, by Wife of Strife for Life
November 27, 2019 1:01 pm ET