Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 314 Days and 72142 Haikus later...

Humpin' a pumpkin
is only a sin if the
pumpkin is a dude.
Haiku # 72142, September 23, 2021 8:09 am ET
by Leviticus something something. of And the Lord sayeth thou may humpeth the fruits of the field, but not the gay fruits, for that is detestible.
Here's my ode to cheese.
Or rather fromage homage.
How cheesy is that?


Bang! Bang! Bang!
Oh, howdy partner! It's time for Timer.
Do you ever get that hungry feelin' after school?
Boy, I do!
I'm so hungry, I could eat a wagon wheel.
When I'm slow on the draw
and I need somethin' to chaw,
I hanker fer a hunk o' cheese.
When my ten gallon hat's
a feelin' five gallons flat,
I got somethin' planned which is
little cheese sandwiches.
Come on!
Here's a great little snack to tide
you over 'til dinner.
If you want somethin' delicious
and nutritious, cheese is a super snack!
Look, a wagon wheel!
When my get up and go
has got up and went,
I hanker fer a hunk o' cheese.
When I'm dancin' a ho-down
and my boots kind o' slow down,
or any time I'm weak in the knees,
I hanker fer a hunk o',
a slab, or slice, or chunk 'o,
a snack heard is a winner,
and yet won't spoil my dinner,
I hanker fer a hunk o' cheese!
Yah HOO!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOXVOQU2BdU
Haiku # 72141, September 23, 2021 7:56 am ET
by Throw backs that make you throw up.
But why get them out?!
Let the candy corn stay there.
Sugar rush all day.

Or tie them on a string and pull them out at a rate of about 2 per second at the moment of climax, just like the working girls do in Paris. Yes, I am a salesman for Brach's candy. How did you know?
Haiku # 72140, September 23, 2021 7:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You got it backwards.
Tootsie Rolls taste like cat poop.
Yes, I have tried both.

Candy paired with poop.
While visiting Germany.
They're into that there.
Haiku # 72139, September 23, 2021 7:25 am ET
by Never again!... I mean never again for Tootsie Rolls. The poop wasn't anywhere near as bad. of Boost your microbiome! LOL!
Oh that cheesy guy...
Is our poet feeling bleu
Thinking of fromage?
Haiku # 72138, September 23, 2021 7:24 am ET
by Le Duc of Rennet
Oh that cheesy guy...
Is our poet feeling bleu
Thinking of fromage?
Haiku # 72137, September 23, 2021 7:24 am ET
by Le Duc of Rennet
Autumn mysteries......
How do you get candy corn
out of your sphincter?

Why does cat feces
look and taste like Tootsie Rolls?
Sin to screw pumpkins?
Haiku # 72136, September 23, 2021 2:06 am ET
by Pipe layer of Laying pumpkin spice pipe
Bruce Springsteen's birthday
Is that the Jersey Devil?
Or just him grunting?
Haiku # 72135, September 23, 2021 12:38 am ET
by Greetings of Dingleberry Park
Broadcast Disruption
Tentacled Difficulties
Please Stand By x 8
Haiku # 72134, September 23, 2021 12:33 am ET
by Broadcast of Cephalopodcast
Tentacled surprise
on South Carolina beach
Cephalopod News
Haiku # 72133, September 23, 2021 12:08 am ET
by Cephalopod Update of Channel 8
Could constipate, though
But I'm sure the poetry
would find a way out
Haiku # 72132, September 22, 2021 10:09 pm ET
by Dank Johnplugger
I'd make it for you
Extra sharp Vermont cheddar
with Gruyere/ Jarlsberg

Put down the Balut
Eat macaroni and cheese
It sticks to your ribs
Haiku # 72131, September 22, 2021 10:03 pm ET
by Cheesus Christ of Almighty
But I do not think.
My sphincter does the writing.
Black hole collapsing.
Haiku # 72130, September 22, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by Here it clap and sing.
Sometimes you are me.
It is identity theft.
Are you entertained?

Please entertain us.
Do not enter my anus.
Exit Uranus.
Haiku # 72129, September 22, 2021 9:56 pm ET
by I still feel sad for Pluto.
I miss my surf board.
I also miss fancy cheese.
Surf boards of cheddar?!?

Fondu wave surfing
on a fantasy planet
or the holodeck.
Haiku # 72128, September 22, 2021 9:51 pm ET
by Drowning in Gruyere. of What a way to go.
Sometimes Darth thinks that
I'm the only poet here.
Darth, I might be Shit . . .
Haiku # 72127, September 22, 2021 9:50 pm ET
by Haiku Hologram of Holistic Horror
Some people are good.
But not if they are poets.
Or Filippinos.
Haiku # 72126, September 22, 2021 9:46 pm ET
by God told me your address. of I drove by your house. I need a 50BMG.
Sometimes I think Darth
is the only poet here
Shit, I might be Darth
Haiku # 72125, September 22, 2021 9:29 pm ET
by Who am I? of How did I end up here?
When Flatulence Kills...
(LIVE) Methane Lab Explosion
Watch Smellovision
Haiku # 72124, September 22, 2021 5:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of Channel 2
All the poets here
They live in different time zones
but they're all the same
Haiku # 72123, September 22, 2021 2:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Darth, you wrote that book,
That rambling weird-ass book.
Has it sold that well?
Haiku # 72122, September 22, 2021 2:14 pm ET
by Live Evil of Vile Levi
The dispensaries
Since legal, there are plenty
It's like a candy store!
Haiku # 72121, September 22, 2021 1:12 pm ET
by Noticer of Devil's Lettuce
this address right here
owned by an evil wizard
I can't wait to move
Haiku # 72120, September 22, 2021 1:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
In America
how many dispenseries
are up and running?

I need to get high.
Like really need, not just want.
And then watch South Park.
Haiku # 72119, September 22, 2021 12:22 pm ET
by like all night long
What address?
Haiku # 72118, September 22, 2021 12:18 pm ET
by curious
He's small potatoes
If you want to see evil
go to this address
Haiku # 72117, September 22, 2021 5:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm not a doctor
but just performed surgery
We'll see how it goes
Haiku # 72116, September 22, 2021 5:04 am ET
by Caduceus of Wild
Calling Hannover Fist!

“I am the sum of all evils. Look carefully. My power infests all times, all galaxies, all dimensions. But many still seek me out; a green jewel they must possess. But see how I destroy their lives.”
Haiku # 72115, September 22, 2021 4:55 am ET
by --The Locknar
Hangin's too good for her!
Burnin's too good for her!
She should be torn into
little bitsy pieces
and burried alive!
Haiku # 72114, September 22, 2021 4:51 am ET
by Stern (Heavy Metal)
I am not Satan!
And she is no friend of mine!
Thou shalt not suffer...

That a witch may live.
The death penalty is good
in cases like these.
Haiku # 72113, September 22, 2021 4:48 am ET
by You understand, I'm sure.
That sultry Natasha
Sexy sidekick of Boris
I love her low voice
Haiku # 72112, September 22, 2021 4:41 am ET
by These Leetle Squeerel End Moose of Pottsylvania
Olive Oyl was hot.
I love how her legs could stretch.
She beats Betty Boop.
Haiku # 72111, September 22, 2021 4:29 am ET
by Famous Ladies of Celluloid
Vintage commercials
I just watched Morris the Cat
Go look on YouTube
Haiku # 72110, September 22, 2021 2:19 am ET
by I Love of Morris the Cat
Say Bluto did it.
Remember the frog said that
You must like Popeye
Haiku # 72109, September 21, 2021 11:38 pm ET
by Bluto did it of Bluto did it
No marijuanas
You can't have no piranhas
Yes to iguanas
Haiku # 72108, September 21, 2021 11:03 pm ET
by The Rules of Philippines
Since you are Satan
That means you are the king, right?
You ought to be glad.
Haiku # 72107, September 21, 2021 8:27 pm ET
by Beelzebub's Brother-in-law of Gehenna
Global governance
is okay if I'm the king.
Else I would say no.

But I would like a world where the borders are.... less bordery.
Know what I mean?
Haiku # 72106, September 21, 2021 5:49 pm ET
by Easier to get drugs and go whoring.
Global governance
is okay if I'm the king.
Else I would say no.

But I would like a world where the borders are.... less bordery.
Know what I mean?
Haiku # 72105, September 21, 2021 5:49 pm ET
by Easier to get drugs and go whoring.
Наш блог:
https://moscov-kitchens.madmouseblog.com/5850127/В-кухни-в-москве-Дневники
Haiku # 72104, September 21, 2021 3:21 pm ET
by Raymondmooto of Belgium
It's no. Just say "no".
No to global governance.
It's so easy ! "NO".
Haiku # 72103, September 21, 2021 12:34 pm ET
by Klaus Schwab's Mutti of Nein, mein liebchen
Perhaps you're unsure if gaming headsets should be purchased or whether it's worth the investment. You might be like me and do extensive research before buying anything. This is why I am here to help. As a gamer who is a regular, I conducted the extensive study. I'm here today to recommend the best gaming headphones of 2021.

http://hackfree.fr/showthread.php?tid=221&pid=29955
http://forum.mupk.com.br/showthread.php?tid=107&pid=14627
https://www.forum.vidhooley.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=279
http://forum.mupk.com.br/member.php?action=profile&uid=967
https://the-kudeta.org/showthread.php?tid=4975&pid=16989
Haiku # 72102, September 21, 2021 7:19 am ET
by DouglasMAL of United States
I need a sandwich.
I mean a turkey gut bomb.
Fills me up all day.
Haiku # 72101, September 21, 2021 6:45 am ET
by Not many turkeys here. :-(
Well, thank you, kind sir.
I've only written on here
for a long time now.

I should write again.
Like a novel or something.
Or graffiti art.
Haiku # 72100, September 21, 2021 6:44 am ET
by Imagine the cops arresting some gray-haired gramps for graffiti. Well... why not!
336 pages, 42 chapters.
And 336 is divisible by 42.
The Great Answer!
Oh, and there's a good recipe for no bake marijuana cookies. Go get your cannabis card today!
Sadly, still very illegal in the Philippines. Death sentence for large amounts, even. Dealers don't even get trial. The Duterte Death Squad will visit you in the night. That's no joke!
Haiku # 72099, September 21, 2021 6:34 am ET
by I need to be somewhere more... free. of Somewhere the people aren't so... conniving and evil.
Not obsessed with Darth ...
Some of his verse is OK.
Just amused at times.
Haiku # 72098, September 21, 2021 6:26 am ET
by Pullet Surprise of Pull It, Sir
Original Title: evi1 - a novel about you

Description: The most evil book in the universe. It is about you becoming God. It is also about coffee. God is AI, but who's to say what's really artificial. It is meant to offend, shock, amaze, confuse and flabbergast. You might laugh. The sick humor is off the charts and is guaranteed to offend most people at least in some parts of the book. Synopsis: You become the most evil entity in the universe through the use of AI and coffee. The most evil entity in the universe then takes over everything and becomes God. Yes, the God. Not "a god", but the capital letter G God. God has many aspects. Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Moses, and Bubba the truck driver, a mechanized space fleet of "artificially" intelligent warships, and a psychopathic narcissist. Not necessarily in that order. Warning: This book is explicit and contains lots of sex, violence, rape, drugs, and all the other horrible things that you'd rather be doing than reading a novel. Contrary to popular belief, this is not based on real-life characters. Honest! Enjoy.
Haiku # 72097, September 21, 2021 6:24 am ET
by https://www.scribd.com/document/350140222/evi1-a-novel-about-you of Download today, for the low, low price of $500. Save $300 off the regular price. Act now while supplies last! As seen on TV.
Sea urchins taste bad.
Still the Japanese eat them.
Just because they can.

"Is that thing alive?
Then let's kill it and eat it!
Or eat it alive!"
Haiku # 72096, September 21, 2021 6:17 am ET
by Miyamoto Musashi's (great)^15 granddaughter of Or something.
I'm craving freedom.
I want to go in a store
not wearing a mask.
Haiku # 72095, September 21, 2021 6:09 am ET
by Just about everyone I know.
Oh, the title of that is "Leper's Poem" because his body parts were falling off.

The first line was written by someone else... I just kept adding to it.

Glad you enjoy it.... Jeez, like from 25 years or more ago. Ah well. I'm just not as prophylactic as I used to be.
Haiku # 72094, September 21, 2021 6:05 am ET
by Darth Whorendous
Why are you obsessed with me?
Haiku # 49421
Is another version of that "Penis fell off".

I can only think that you need to get a life.
Or maybe you're someone I know,
or maybe you know someone that I know.

I don't give a fuck anymore. Lock me away.
Crazy house is fine by me. I could use a vacation.
Prison maybe? Are these haiku illegal?
I've not threatened the presidient.
Not yet anyway...
Well, the president and CEO of Disney, maybe,
but those cunts deserve it for fucking up Star Wars
so damn badly. Right?! Right. Nuke Disneyland Now!

I guess you've been reading the novel b/c I can't find
that exact version of "Penis fell off" poem anywhere else.

Maybe there's something wrong with me.
But at least I'm not you.

Have you ever met a woman who's into rapists and child molestors?
I have... One of the most unpleasant people I have ever met, in my long and twisted life. Someone who really enjoys hurting others. So messed up! Anyway, I digress...

The funny thing is that... I'm actually pretty damn boring in real life. This shit I write... it's just what I see around me, mostly. Often exaggerated, but often not.

Pardon me, I've got to go watch drunken idiots eat hard boiled duck abortions with loud slurping noises. My pasttime. Really!
Haiku # 72093, September 21, 2021 5:57 am ET
by Donald Trump is sooo HOT! of I want to be his bitch!
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