BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
337 Days
and
66190 Haikus
later...
Otis Firefly.
Perfect Halloween costume.
Can I pull it off?
Haiku #66190, by Darth Figpucker
October 15, 2019 8:31 pm ET

If you've never thought
of cooking children in stew,
you're no friend of mine.

Haaaa haaaa haaaa haaaaa haaaaaaaaaaa!
Haiku #66189, by Which witch with an itch? of Hansel and Gretel were just a snack.
October 15, 2019 8:29 pm ET

Shut up shut up hoe
One more time and ill pop you
Shut up shut up bitch
Haiku #66188, by Line of lines
October 15, 2019 6:06 pm ET

Trump is a tweeker
John Bolton is a leaker
So funny to watch
Haiku #66187, by Anonymous Poet
October 15, 2019 11:16 am ET

You need HIV.
It's a great way to lose weight.
Watch those pounds melt off.
Haiku #66186, by Anonymous Poet
October 15, 2019 9:14 am ET

Pro masturbation
That's the only thing I'll do
'Cause pro fucking sucks
Haiku #66185, by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back?
October 14, 2019 11:22 pm ET

Procrastination.
That's the only thing this is.
When work fucking sucks.
Haiku #66184, by blah blah blah fucking blah
October 14, 2019 8:20 pm ET

Twelve looks like eighteen.
Twenty looks like a fat cow.
Growth hormone beef franks.
Haiku #66183, by Mooooooooooooo. of How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her.
October 14, 2019 8:18 pm ET

I have two large cunts
on the bottoms of my feet.
Pussyfooters rule!
Haiku #66182, by Pardon the snail trails.
October 14, 2019 8:12 pm ET

That's my daughter now.
Sunday dinners are awesome.
Potluck southern food.
Haiku #66181, by Proud father: rehearsals. of She never misses her line.
October 14, 2019 6:41 pm ET

If you continue
As a piece of shit that will
Be your daughter soon

So many reasons
To be a good role model
You can start today
Haiku #66180, by Ghost of I See You
October 13, 2019 6:27 pm ET

The best pornos are
eight black men, one fat white girl.
So many reasons.
Haiku #66179, by Anonymous Poet
October 13, 2019 5:02 pm ET

Terrific is best
maker of poems ever
Sooooooooo fascinating
Haiku #66178, by Sarcasm
October 13, 2019 3:02 pm ET

Only drone noticed
Is the drone of your Haiku
Putting me to sleep.
Haiku #66177, by Terrific Soporific of Poetry
October 12, 2019 3:37 pm ET

That government drone
Hovering near your window
Have you noticed it?
Haiku #66176, by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
October 12, 2019 11:01 am ET

No one would expect
Someone with such a huge ass
Could outrun a train
Haiku #66175, by Blood of On the tracks
October 12, 2019 2:49 am ET

Four pieces French toast,
eight bacon strips, lemonade.
The fat woman belched.

Was it an earthquake?
Baritone eructation.
Startling gut horn.
Haiku #66174, by Anonymous Poet
October 11, 2019 9:35 pm ET

You will fight the train....
And you will kick much train ass
Show 'em who's in charge
Haiku #66173, by Ann Nonymous
October 11, 2019 5:24 pm ET

Flattened by the train
Something to look forward to
See, there's always hope
Haiku #66172, by Someone you know of Wrong side of the tracks
October 11, 2019 4:58 pm ET

Umlaut breaks Haiku
My work now forever gone!
Tilde "A" remains.
Haiku #66171, by Wang Lowfan of Kalistan
October 11, 2019 11:58 am ET

Man-Tank of Hong Kong
Part machine, part Ã
Haiku #66170, by Wang Lowfan of Kalistan
October 11, 2019 11:54 am ET

Serrated Knife
Like Lemongrass Bordering
An Infant's Cradle
Haiku #66169, by Who Do of Smegmoo
October 11, 2019 11:46 am ET

The Hong Kong Tank Men
Dare to fight to against evil
As the world watches....
Haiku #66168, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
October 11, 2019 8:02 am ET

Hollywood venal
Communist boot licker's
Bow down to money!
Haiku #66167, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
October 11, 2019 7:55 am ET

NBA Chicoms!
Be sure to keep your mouths shut
And master happy!
Haiku #66166, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
October 11, 2019 7:53 am ET

Drink coffee all day
Then can' sleep a wink at night
Damn caffeine junkie!
Haiku #66165, by Walt Tripp of Hogs Back Woods
October 11, 2019 7:46 am ET

The Great Pig Escape
Oinking from all directions
God damn foolishness
Haiku #66164, by Sausage dink of Undisclosed
October 10, 2019 10:27 pm ET

A lifetime of this
Waiting for the end of life
Thank you for your time
Haiku #66163, by Nobody of In particular
October 10, 2019 10:20 pm ET

Contemplating it
Since the day after Woodstock
Lentil flatulence
Haiku #66162, by Al Gassedup of Nowhere near a restroom
October 10, 2019 9:59 pm ET

Braided nostril hairs.
Silly old millenials.
Too lazy to pluck.

Wannabe hippies.
Nostril dreadlock mucus drips.
Nasal honey pot.

And the chicks dig it.
One on either side of him.
Nibbling the strands.
Haiku #66161, by Burning Man of Dying of thirst in the dessert. Oh, wait, here's a beer. Only $20? Okay!
October 10, 2019 9:27 pm ET

Burgers make you fat.
Chick-Fil-Et is anti-gay.
Instead, eat tacos.
Haiku #66160, by Anonymous Poet
October 10, 2019 8:17 pm ET

Furry pussy cat
Purring like a house on fire
When she has been fed.
Haiku #66159, by My Kitty Likes Purina
October 10, 2019 11:38 am ET

Flappy pussy skin
Swaying like a pendulum
When she's excited
Haiku #66158, by Sittin on the cock of The bay
October 10, 2019 2:24 am ET

I dare say, Vicar:
Quite a lovely toast-rack there
She's spot-on, brilliant.
Haiku #66157, by Sir James Saville of Anglo-Saxon Necrophilia
October 9, 2019 1:30 pm ET

I'm a drop lyrikz:
drop them right ON you white ass
(since I too am white).
Haiku #66156, by Da Haiku Pimp of Street Kredz
October 9, 2019 1:20 pm ET

One of the spouses
Likes to pee in the coffee
Of the other spouse
Haiku #66155, by Divorced of Coffee Break
October 9, 2019 1:04 am ET

Sand in the ass crack
Egg salad aftertaste
Brian Wilson is stoned
Haiku #66154, by Beach Bum of Beach
October 8, 2019 10:04 pm ET

Ha ha. I caused you
To break the rules of Haiku.
Admit: you're triggered
Haiku #66153, by Heap Big Medicine of Great Spirit
October 8, 2019 8:38 pm ET

I forgot thump.
There are others, but not so common.
Frump for example. A dull or unattractive woman.
Haiku #66152, by Trump is a frump.
October 8, 2019 7:32 pm ET

bump chump clump dump grump hump jump lump mumps plump rump stump trump

I have the best words.
No one else has words like these.
High quality words.
Haiku #66151, by repubtard worshiping orange baboon of Legalize pussy grabbing now!
October 8, 2019 7:29 pm ET

Yes! We took out Trump!
Wait...Pence is now the president?
Hmmmm . . . wait a second.
Haiku #66150, by Impulse-Driven Libtard of Low Information
October 8, 2019 10:54 am ET

White dude acting black
You are the new Al Jolson
Of the internet
Haiku #66149, by Anonymous Poet
October 8, 2019 7:19 am ET

President Mike Pence
Get used to saying that phrase
It is what it is
Haiku #66148, by Anonymous Poet
October 8, 2019 7:16 am ET

Y'all niggaz rayciss.
Be hatin on my boy TRUMP.
Straight-up rayciss. Damn.
Haiku #66147, by Marcus Garvey's Secretary
October 7, 2019 3:09 pm ET

Jesus done turnt Kool-Aid to Mad Dog.
I seened it wit my own eyes.
Turnt a tampon into a blunt.
Whole house fulla niggas got FUCKED up!
Dats da troof!
Haiku #66146, by Friendly neighborhood homie.
October 7, 2019 8:58 am ET

I ain't no cracka!
You cracka-ass prison bitch.
Bust you wide open!
Haiku #66145, by Jesus, your Lord and Savior. of Preachin' it on the mountain!
October 6, 2019 11:27 pm ET

Y'all aint no Jesus.
I'M Jesus, you bitch-ass ho.
Damn. Cracka-ass poet.
Haiku #66144, by Booker T. Washington of Profanity
October 6, 2019 9:32 pm ET

Carp and tar.
Scum fish and cigarettes.
Mad dog 20/20.
Haiku #66143, by Jesus Christ, your Lord and Savior of ... but I ain't gonna die fo' yo' sins this time, bitches. Save yo' own damn sef! Damn crackas anyhow.
October 6, 2019 5:42 pm ET

Fun Fact:

The Ancient Greek noun tekton is a common term for an artisan/craftsman, in particular a carpenter, wood-worker, mason, builder, teacher, or engineer.
Haiku #66142, by Anonymous Poet
October 6, 2019 5:13 pm ET

Fuck tiny keyboard :

carpenteR
Haiku #66141, by Eat my Theology
October 6, 2019 4:32 pm ET