BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
64 Days
and
69622 Haikus
later...
Solar ejections:
Spasmodic spurts into space
From the corona
Haiku #69622, by Sexy Solar Flares of Outer Space
January 15, 2021 10:03 am ET

Please do not fear the
gaseous ejaculate.
Here's a free sample.
Haiku #69621, by Clean your glasses.
January 15, 2021 6:56 am ET

Maybe it's a worm.
Maybe it's a pachyderm.
Ether makes me squirm.
Haiku #69620, by Enticer of the snails.
January 15, 2021 6:53 am ET

Let us reminisce
the penile flatulence.
Effervescent sperm.
Haiku #69619, by Maybe it's a worm.
January 15, 2021 2:18 am ET

One-eyed prostitute.
I'll keep an eye out for you.
Glass eye lubricant.
Haiku #69618, by Lubricant pube you can't of Find in the behind the old stinky pussy won't-oh
January 15, 2021 2:15 am ET

The junk's in the trunk.
I wet humped the cheese thinking
Of your dry pillow.
Haiku #69617, by Can't you get your facts straight?! of Nothing but fake news and lies your entire life!
January 15, 2021 2:11 am ET

Under old willow
Darth dry humped his pillow. (moan)
whilst thinking of cheese
Haiku #69616, by Legends of of Haiku Fairy Tales
January 14, 2021 9:41 pm ET

Do you look for slime?
I didn't see much eyeballs
or any pubes
Haiku #69615, by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
January 14, 2021 9:37 pm ET

The centipede's junk
How do you tell the difference?
Like, what end's the junk?
Haiku #69614, by Carcass Tosser of Haiku Junkyard
January 14, 2021 9:34 pm ET

When we speak of food,
should it be before eaten,
or when it comes out?

Or continuous
recycling like in The
Human Centipede?

If given a choice,
would you pick the front or back?
That is a tough one!
Haiku #69613, by Poetry Etiquette of Emily Post Toasties
January 14, 2021 7:11 pm ET

Darth Figpucker's Guide
to the Finer Things in Life
Book Signing (dink pen)
Haiku #69612, by Pen Stealer of Using your pen to write this
January 14, 2021 4:27 pm ET

Carrots, peas, onions
Beets, scallions, corn, ghost peppers
All haunting my shit
Haiku #69611, by I. Ain't afraid of No Ghost Peckers
January 14, 2021 4:21 pm ET

Donald's not finished.
Q told me so. It's all fake.
Trump shall RISE AGAIN!
Haiku #69610, by A False Preacher of a False Profit
January 14, 2021 10:05 am ET

Shniffle doople plonk.
Shlop bop ba loo bop plah-doooo.
Rham-schtankerfiendom.
Haiku #69609, by z d x y j
January 14, 2021 8:58 am ET

Deserted island
Maybe wearing a loin cloth
Permanent boner
Haiku #69608, by Middle Aged of Blue Lagoon
January 14, 2021 7:56 am ET

Describe some more food
Almost as good as eating
Say something spicy
Haiku #69607, by I'll have of what Darth's having
January 14, 2021 7:46 am ET

Bad Haiku News

Trump Impeached again
Flint water: Rick Snyder charged
Trump "Don't pay Rudy"
Haiku #69606, by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
January 14, 2021 7:25 am ET

Quarantine boredom
Pleasure myself with haiku
Finish myself off
Haiku #69605, by hhtigerlily of Hotel Quarantine
January 14, 2021 2:40 am ET

Quarantine boredom
My hot online fantasy
Is just a ghost fuck
Haiku #69604, by hhtigerlily of Hotel Quarantine
January 14, 2021 2:37 am ET

Why are those boys proud?
They've not done anything good.
Counterexamples?
Haiku #69603, by It's a beautiful day in the neigborhood. of A beautiful day for a neighbor.
January 14, 2021 1:20 am ET

I will soon be home.
There I'll eat something yummy.
Maybe I'll tell you.
Haiku #69602, by Maybe not.
January 14, 2021 1:18 am ET

Diagonalized
subhyperdimensional
linearity.

I near pooped myself.
And it isn't even real.
Santa Claus told me.
Haiku #69601, by Curt Kobain's grandmother's dog's former owner's great granddaughter. of Or something.
January 14, 2021 1:15 am ET

That Szechuan haiku
Stolen from the Japanese
Cheap Chinese ripoffs
Haiku #69600, by Me Chinee, me play joke, me put peepee in yo Coke. of Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these!
January 13, 2021 11:13 pm ET

That Szechuan chicken
With the three kinds of pepper
Better than haiku
Haiku #69599, by Poetry Toks of Bullshit Woks
January 13, 2021 9:02 pm ET

Where the hell are you?
Come on now, don't die on me.
Tell me I'm so wrong!
Haiku #69598, by I know, you just have a hangover. of And dried up jizz from the boys you blew stuck in your hair.
January 13, 2021 8:16 pm ET

What, you're still asleep?!
Get your fat ass out of bed!
Make some damn breakfast!
Haiku #69597, by Gordon Ramsay of And don't fuck up the eggs!
January 13, 2021 10:06 am ET

The dairy cow mooed.
The sheep just stared and bleated.
The pig did TikTok.
Haiku #69596, by I swear it's true!
January 13, 2021 7:28 am ET

What is wrong with you?
How can you post such vile filth?
What made you this way?
Haiku #69595, by Detailer of notices. of Decease and decyst.
January 13, 2021 6:01 am ET

I don't hate women,
but I sneak in their restrooms
and pee on the seats.
Haiku #69594, by Revenge against angry mother. of Starbucks Coffee, of course.
January 13, 2021 3:58 am ET

Infuse HIV
into the covid membrane.
Hey, it's worth a shot.
Haiku #69593, by Pesky humans. of Viruses Helping Viruses
January 13, 2021 3:55 am ET

How have I performed?
Please rate me at Yelp dot com.
I will send you nudes.
Haiku #69592, by Whore of Downtown
January 13, 2021 3:53 am ET

Do cows enjoy drugs?
We need to experiment
then survey the cows.
Haiku #69591, by GoFundMe/Donate/HappyCows of One dose for you, one for me... one for you... 10 for me.
January 13, 2021 3:49 am ET

At the capital
dose all the Proud Boy rebels.
It would have been fun.
Haiku #69590, by LSD will set you free.
January 13, 2021 3:33 am ET

Cars powered by farts
Breakdown on Methane Highway
They ran out of gas
Haiku #69589, by Siphoning Sucks of Ass
January 13, 2021 2:04 am ET

I'm not a robot
Ever heard of a robot
with a ten pound dink?
Haiku #69588, by Heavy Metal Headbangers and Balls of Preparing for shipment
January 13, 2021 1:16 am ET

best drugstore highlighter http://pharmacy-onlineasxs.com/ canada rx pharmacy
Haiku #69587, by Nllpsoony of Yako
January 12, 2021 11:23 pm ET

Not asking for much
Just to blend in with your soul
If you still have one
Haiku #69586, by Soul of Whizzing around
January 12, 2021 11:23 pm ET

In these troubled times
Mandatory pot smoking
Everybody puff
Haiku #69585, by Spot the Dragon of under Herman Munster's stairs
January 12, 2021 11:18 pm ET

He left the seat up
She stabbed him fifty six times
Don't leave the seat up
Haiku #69584, by Men are gross of Pissed Off
January 12, 2021 11:12 pm ET

I would be wary
of the large cassowary.
And too expensive!
Haiku #69583, by No one questions you about chickens. of Not sure how cassowary tastes though. Maybe really good.
January 12, 2021 11:03 pm ET

That bird is a bitch
Everybody's talking 'bout
the Cassowary Bird
Haiku #69582, by Everybody of Everywhere
January 12, 2021 10:34 pm ET

Let's talk pet monkeys
They need lots of attention
They'll fling shit at you
Haiku #69581, by I. Wantone of Now
January 12, 2021 10:31 pm ET

Why haven't you tried
Car Wash fellatio ride
Afraid to get wet?
Haiku #69580, by No Attendant of On Duty
January 12, 2021 10:26 pm ET

Chicken!
Haiku #69579, by Anonymous Poet
January 12, 2021 10:21 pm ET

I ate someone good.
So my haiku are glowing.
Or my face is glazed.
Haiku #69578, by Fine dining w/o the cheese.
January 12, 2021 10:20 pm ET

Name an animal
that you fuck before eating
tick tock tick tock tick
Haiku #69577, by Phil Everyhole of Wild New Game Show premiering Hump Night
January 12, 2021 10:17 pm ET

Darth, this batch of Haikus is gold

You must have eaten something good or got laid
Haiku #69576, by Gatita
January 12, 2021 10:13 pm ET

Fartologist, I.
My autobiography.
Catchy title, no?
Haiku #69575, by Disenjambment Society. of Would you like some Lord of the Flies with that Shakespear?
January 12, 2021 9:23 pm ET

Fartologist, I.
My autobiography
title. Catchy, no?
Haiku #69574, by Darth Whorendous, ancient Sith Lord of the Gas Planets. Things are getting heavy.
January 12, 2021 9:16 pm ET

Methane emissions
of dairy bovine pollute
the earth's atmosphere.

Almost as bad as
cars' fossil fuel combustion.
We need cow gas traps.

Put that waste to use.
Like for cooking hamburgers!
Where will it all end?!
Haiku #69573, by We need an asteroid. of A really, really BIG one. Like the "dinks" you enjoy.
January 12, 2021 9:14 pm ET