BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
307 Days
and
65938 Haikus
later...
Hello there.
Haiku #65938, by
September 16, 2019 3:34 am ET

That is just not true.
Werther's candy still exists.
Here's the ugly truth.

Grandpa hated you.
The ugliest grandson.
He left out of shame.

So your parents lied.
He told me this over beer.
So I know it's true.
Haiku #65937, by
September 16, 2019 3:34 am ET

Grandpa wiped a year
There were no more Werther's left
So he killed himself
Haiku #65936, by The of End
September 16, 2019 1:43 am ET

Hello there.
Haiku #65935, by
September 16, 2019 1:10 am ET

Once upon a time...
a poet had Alzheimer's.
So I guess "The End."
Haiku #65934, by
September 16, 2019 1:00 am ET

It was raining dead prostitutes.
The perverts had a heyday.
So did the canibals.
The frogs were upset.
They just wanted some real rain.
So they could fuck, of course.
Haiku #65933, by
September 16, 2019 12:57 am ET

It will not come out.
I'm trying to shit a brick.
The baby's crying.
Haiku #65932, by Clinched sphincter and constipation. of I need Fiber One.
September 15, 2019 8:22 pm ET

Hello there.
Haiku #65931, by
September 15, 2019 8:19 pm ET

I just got dessert.
Chocolate mousse with espresso.
Just like Mugabe.
Haiku #65930, by
September 15, 2019 8:19 pm ET

Robert Mugabe:
Now the once-great dictator
Gets his just desserts.
Haiku #65929, by Mfulemi Kijungawili of Copenhagen
September 15, 2019 12:55 pm ET

Hello there.
Haiku #65928, by
September 15, 2019 4:38 am ET

I have been told that
the aliens monitor
and rate each haiku

according to its
intensity of badness.
They won't tell me why.
Haiku #65927, by
September 15, 2019 4:37 am ET

Unsure what to do?
Rhyming haiku stick with you.
Much like super glue.
Haiku #65926, by
September 15, 2019 4:27 am ET

The stink of the dink,
be it purple, red, or pink,
means you should take zinc.

I think, therefore I spam.

Online zinc supplements and Viagra.
onlinestinkydinkpillsfromcanada.com
Haiku #65925, by
September 15, 2019 4:25 am ET

They made a mistake
And wished they were sea monkeys
And they got their wish
Haiku #65924, by Casual Observer of Behind binoculars
September 14, 2019 6:47 pm ET

I will rend your limbs.
You will be a pile of blood
After this haiku
Haiku #65923, by Chingis Khan of Mongolia
September 14, 2019 6:16 pm ET

I'ma git me some...
Some a dat BAD BAD haiku.
What I'm talkin' bout.
Haiku #65922, by Tyrone in a Fine Cadillac of 42nd Street in the 70s
September 14, 2019 8:31 am ET

So Cal, so go surf.
Mavericks would be awesome.
Just kidding; don't die.
Haiku #65921, by
September 14, 2019 7:26 am ET

I'm back in SoCal
But I won't be here too long
Just biding my time.
Haiku #65920, by mean d. of So Cal
September 14, 2019 2:32 am ET

Your life is pointless.
I mean, just look at yourself.
You read bad haiku!
Haiku #65919, by Victim of the Glaringly Obvious. of Make it Stop!
September 13, 2019 6:29 pm ET

Actually, Adam
made his own banana stand
And Eve snatched it up
Haiku #65918, by Bible beater of Undisclosed
September 13, 2019 4:06 pm ET

No bed of roses
Honey, while you were sleeping
I pruned your manhood
Haiku #65917, by True Story of In the news
September 13, 2019 2:52 am ET

These pistachios
God made something so tasty
Intestine shrapnel
Haiku #65916, by like I must be nuts of Nuthouse
September 13, 2019 2:24 am ET

Eve was handy too
Made the first banana stand
Adam snatched it up
Haiku #65915, by Bible beater of Garden
September 13, 2019 2:17 am ET

Jesus Christ is a
charitable carpenter
and he gives me wood.
Haiku #65914, by Gay for Jesus
September 13, 2019 1:57 am ET

Can't find the right words
To tell you in this poem
So I will just fart
Haiku #65913, by Gasbag of Methane Lane
September 13, 2019 1:07 am ET

This does not make sense.
If it made sense, you'd read it.
Stop licking the screen.

That won't get you high.
Try vinegar latte shots.
Attacked by purple.

She will not fuck you.
Not vaginally I mean.
Break dance battle whore.
Haiku #65912, by Anonymous Poet
September 12, 2019 11:53 pm ET

What could I tell you
that you haven't heard before.
Sardine-stuffed gold flute.
Haiku #65911, by Bouree with a side of flounder
September 12, 2019 11:48 pm ET

Claustrophobia
For the midget I sat on
At the Bingo Hall
Haiku #65910, by Polly Esther Pantz of No ventilation
September 12, 2019 11:35 pm ET

Refresh each minute.
I must have the last haiku
when the earth explodes.
Haiku #65909, by
September 12, 2019 11:25 pm ET

Avocado toast
Three cheers for this funny fruit
Let's all drink to that
Haiku #65908, by Drunk of Barstool
September 12, 2019 11:25 pm ET

Head on collision
one last duck face selfie, please
You've got it in you
Haiku #65907, by Person of Picking up intestines on highway
September 12, 2019 11:22 pm ET

Robber Mugabe
Whoops! Sorry I meant Robert...
Trashed his own country.

Zimbabwe's lyin--
Sorry, meant to say lion...
Now more a dead dog.
Haiku #65906, by Memories of Rhodesia
September 12, 2019 8:47 pm ET

No fucking way man.
Not giving up my necklace.
"Beef" jerky jewelry.
Haiku #65905, by df
September 12, 2019 8:34 pm ET

Somalia called.
Their women want their clits back.
I sent them to Darth.
Haiku #65904, by Sheikh of the Desert Wastes
September 12, 2019 7:04 pm ET

Do not suck his "dink"!
You will get botulism.
Among other things.
Haiku #65903, by Clostridium botulinum of Zellweger's revenge.
September 12, 2019 4:55 pm ET

Wobbert Smiff whining
Two, maybe three chords at best.
That's most of the Cure
Haiku #65902, by but I still like "Killing an Arab"
September 12, 2019 11:46 am ET

Botox injections
Now my boring dink looks like
Renee Zellweger
Haiku #65901, by U. Look different of Undisclosed
September 12, 2019 11:16 am ET

If your cock's too small
and her cunt is enormous,
try corn on the cob.
Haiku #65900, by Anonymous Poet
September 12, 2019 10:20 am ET

The music was dull.
He defeated Mecha Streisand.
That's all that matters.
Haiku #65899, by And you know he partied like no tomorrow. of I mean, wouldn't you?!
September 11, 2019 11:38 pm ET

Be on time tonight
I'll be carrying a bag
Of unmarked assholes
Haiku #65898, by Bag holder of Appointed place
September 11, 2019 11:37 pm ET

Only memories:
TSA groping my crotch.
And a new skyline.
Haiku #65897, by
September 11, 2019 11:34 pm ET

Wittle Wobbert Smiff
Made boring droning music
Back in the eighties.
Haiku #65896, by Pasty-Faced Brits of Teen Existentialism
September 11, 2019 9:43 pm ET

Forgot it was there
Bagel and a schmear of lox
Left in my forehead!
Haiku #65895, by Noticer of Details (Not)
September 11, 2019 9:35 pm ET

Everyone forgot.
But they said that they would not.
Must have been the Jews.
Haiku #65894, by
September 11, 2019 8:30 pm ET

Crime fighting choices.
Catwoman in area.
Batman packs condoms.
Haiku #65893, by Holy spermicide, Batman!
September 11, 2019 8:13 pm ET

Last slurp of coffee
Moth caught between two soft paws
Catwoman's day starts
Haiku #65892, by Catwoman of Gotham
September 11, 2019 12:23 pm ET

Criminals in fear.
Batman's shadow on the wall.
Moth near the light bulb.
Haiku #65891, by
September 11, 2019 8:50 am ET

Write shitty haiku
What?....nothing better to do
While taking a poo
Haiku #65890, by Captain Kirk
September 11, 2019 7:19 am ET

Talked to a phone ho
Fell asleep before I came
Just like in real life
Haiku #65889, by I make love to my wife.I just fuck yours.
September 11, 2019 7:15 am ET