BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
20 Days
and
68976 Haikus
later...
What's the difference, Darth?
Are farts the same thing as shit?
Like water and ice?
Haiku #68976, by S. Brownstain of Flatulent Earth Society
December 2, 2020 10:14 pm ET

They hang in the air
The same way that goodbye does when it's forever
Haiku #68975, by Toot
December 2, 2020 9:58 pm ET

Molecules of farts
Under magnification
Reveal Hitler's face
Haiku #68974, by Noticer of Details of Behind microscope
December 2, 2020 9:53 pm ET

Darth Darth Darth...(unh)...Darth
Darth (unh) Whorrendous Darth GOSH
I'm farting a lot.
Haiku #68973, by Methane, Myself and Ithane
December 2, 2020 9:26 pm ET

fart fart fart fart fart
fart fart fart fart fart fart fart
fart fart fart fart fart
Haiku #68972, by unknown of Fart Farm
December 2, 2020 8:30 pm ET

Bought forty acres
Starting up my own Fart Farm
Guess it's milking time
Haiku #68971, by Fart Farmer of Fart Farm
December 2, 2020 4:14 pm ET

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
this sums up 2020
Haiku #68970, by Your mom of Texas
December 2, 2020 12:33 pm ET

vhs won't eat
He's been off his feed these days
Ever since Trump lost
Haiku #68969, by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
December 2, 2020 3:43 am ET

We'll take care of you
Would you like a sponge bath, Darth?
We're smoking hot twins...
Haiku #68968, by Bathy Kates of Conjoined
December 1, 2020 9:01 pm ET

Who will we eat first?
I say vhs; he's clean.
Got knows what I have!
Haiku #68967, by dw of Air Borne Ebola
December 1, 2020 8:47 pm ET

Let's talk about it
Let's talk cannibalism
Fuck talking, let's eat
Haiku #68966, by Cannibal of I smell Hoomans
December 1, 2020 6:03 pm ET

It's near to farting.
The British one-fourth penny
is called a farthing.

They should also have
a shithing and pithing coin too.
They they'll be complete.
Haiku #68965, by A full range of functions.
December 1, 2020 2:05 pm ET

You seen that snake guy?
He gets high off snake venom.
Injects it often.

He never gets sick.
It gives him super powers.
At least it's not meth.
Haiku #68964, by I think I'll try jelly fish venom. of :-O
December 1, 2020 12:43 pm ET

A coincidence?
You walked past the snake charmer
and got a boner
Haiku #68963, by I. Sawit of Surveillance cameras
December 1, 2020 7:28 am ET

I don't want to see
Your colony down under.
(Butt maybe Ash does...)
Haiku #68962, by Don't Make an Ass of Yourself of Netherworlds of Darth
December 1, 2020 2:30 am ET

I clicked on that link
It looked like an abacus
shoved in a ham

It was your asshole!
I must say, you are handsome
from either end, Darth
Haiku #68961, by Your secret admirer of Either End
November 30, 2020 9:45 pm ET

Picnics and parties.
Cute puppy dogs and kittens.
Fluffy clouds and stuff.
Haiku #68960, by Everything is fine. of Trust me.
November 30, 2020 9:17 pm ET

Maybe a world run
by the New Chinese Empire
might not be so bad.
Haiku #68959, by Criminals flourish under communism. of And I am nothing if not a criminal. Whores? Check. Drugs? Check. Weapons? Check. Surfboard? Check.
November 30, 2020 8:52 pm ET

That last post links to
a picture of my asshole.
In case you need it.
Haiku #68958, by dw
November 30, 2020 8:46 pm ET

https://static.ffx.io/images/$zoom_0.346%2C$multiply_2.1164%2C$ratio_1.5%2C$width_756%2C$x_86%2C$y_0/t_crop_custom/q_62%2Cf_auto/fc5a4891a86ecae4caee529c6ee5b87297165119
Haiku #68957, by Anonymous Poet
November 30, 2020 7:55 pm ET

all hail xi xinping
emperor who will be king
world dynastic fling
Haiku #68956, by ash of a colony down under
November 30, 2020 7:08 pm ET

i see he is still
at it and i have lost all faith
in syllables.
Haiku #68955, by vhs
November 30, 2020 1:39 pm ET

Great TP idea.
2020 calendar.
Year's not over yet.

What shite occurs next?
I can hardly wait to see.
Planet of The Apes.
Haiku #68954, by Put the funt back in the cart. of NOW!
November 30, 2020 5:57 am ET

I just took a shit
Then I wiped my big fat ass
with the calendar
Haiku #68953, by Father Time of (Flushing Sound)
November 30, 2020 1:27 am ET

Standing in the queue
Your breath has fogged my glasses
Six feet is the rule
Haiku #68952, by Betty LeBomb
November 30, 2020 1:03 am ET

Ching Chong Chinaman:
Didn't know how to milk a cow
(Except H. Biden.)
Haiku #68951, by Worthy Gentleman of Celestial Kingdom
November 29, 2020 10:07 pm ET

Chinese
Japanese
Dirty knees
Look at these!
Haiku #68950, by Baby Firefly
November 29, 2020 8:26 pm ET

Me Chinee
Me play joke
Me put pee pee
In yo Coke.
Haiku #68949, by Wong on so many revels. of PRC
November 29, 2020 8:25 pm ET

Don't care for it Clem.
Snakes and rat and dog in there.
Cain't we have corn-pone?
Haiku #68948, by Appalachian Takeout of China Pearl 20 minutes you pick up order ok?
November 29, 2020 8:54 am ET

Lotus lake of jade
Quan-yin smiles: heavenly peace.
Military drones.
Haiku #68947, by Quan-yin Ex-husband of Celestial Realms
November 29, 2020 8:47 am ET

Chinee proverb say:
"No Tickee no Laundry." Ha.
Now get back to work.
Haiku #68946, by Ching Chong Chinaman of Firedrill
November 29, 2020 8:43 am ET

Serioulsy though, if you see how the Chinese keep down the poorer surrounding countries, you'd hate the commies too. Fucking criminals. Nothing but Big Time Gangsters.
Haiku #68945, by I wish I was one of them. :-O of dw
November 29, 2020 12:06 am ET

If that was covid,
I am not impressed at all.
Had worse hangovers.

You can blame China.
Fear, the cheap commodity.
It's all about Trump.

That's how they react
to an arrogant pervert
who won't take their shit.

Serioulsy though, started as sore throat, became runny nose, mild congestion and cough, and now on 5th day I feel like I could fuck a bunch of dirty whores on cocaine and go for a 5 mile jog.
Haiku #68944, by Can we just nuke China and get it over with? of Come on, Trump, you still have time.
November 29, 2020 12:04 am ET

The lonely Frenchman
Fucks a dozen stale croissants
Filling eclairs next
Haiku #68943, by Eatthis Pilaf of France
November 28, 2020 11:44 pm ET

Get lubricated
Say, we need some mood music
to write these Haikus
Haiku #68942, by Venus of In the House
November 28, 2020 11:02 pm ET

Because you like games
Wearing me chastity belt
I've swallowed the key
Haiku #68941, by Player of Fun City
November 28, 2020 10:58 pm ET

French fries are not French.
They drown them in manonaise.
I could not live there.
Haiku #68940, by Well, they do have nude beaches... of Maybe. Add to their mayonaise.
November 28, 2020 10:29 pm ET

Vous n'etes que des cons.
De ca j'en suis tres tres sur...
En garde, monsieur.
Haiku #68939, by Le Compte de Chie-en-Lit of Feudal Aristokrasy
November 28, 2020 9:17 am ET

"Smoke on ze watt air--
A fie air een ze ska yi.."
(De la bonne musique)
Haiku #68938, by Ian Gillan's French Maid of Shallow Purple
November 28, 2020 9:11 am ET

you put it in wrong
the plural should be penes
withdraw that haiku
Haiku #68937, by ash of look at my pedants
November 28, 2020 7:14 am ET

dispute the voters
the scrotus on to scotus
to rock the boat (us)
Haiku #68936, by ash of in the rigging
November 28, 2020 7:12 am ET

It must be funny
Shitting up in outer space
and leaving it there
Haiku #68935, by Regular Haiku Poet of Under old willow
November 28, 2020 2:32 am ET

mothership arrives
Sexo-morphian combat
just what you wanted
Haiku #68934, by Aliens with boobs on their backs and peni on the soles of their feet.
November 28, 2020 12:27 am ET

Watch Killing Zoe.
Do you see how she was killed?
Don't say she wasn't!
Haiku #68933, by French fries with brie and beaujolais. of Croissants are overrated.
November 27, 2020 7:40 pm ET

Oui le bonbon du nez?
Haiku #68932, by Je veux dire de la cocaine, pas des crottes of Vive le Dark Side
November 27, 2020 7:36 pm ET

La chatte dit: miaou
Punaise! C'est tout une merveille
(pas pour la souris...)
Haiku #68931, by Jean-Claude Marie Giscard du Cornouaille of Mais pas de Conneries
November 27, 2020 5:23 pm ET

I'm moving to France
where the cats walk on tables
where the cats say Miaou
Haiku #68930, by chaton d’étoile of Litter pan
November 27, 2020 7:25 am ET

eat me first garcon
then add creme to my brulee
mon dieu, oh la la !
Haiku #68929, by ash of dans la cuisine, la bas
November 27, 2020 6:25 am ET

*throat, not through. But you gnu that.
Haiku #68928, by Anonymous Poet
November 27, 2020 6:04 am ET

First slight sore through, then bad runny nose, now a slight dry cough. No fever, no loss of taste... yet.
But just in case it's covid, I'm spitting on people's car door handles. Doing my duty to lower the population b/c that's what the Chinese scientists want.
Haiku #68927, by spitooey!
November 27, 2020 6:04 am ET