Excuse me, monkeys.
Did you see my banana?
I know it was here.

It all boils down to
Penis of a certain length
Turns red like lobster

Alcoholic fool
Plenty more where that came from
Be sure not to drive

Haiku are so gay.
Just one small haiku equals
a hundred sucked cocks.

Update to really bad Haiku

it is 5 p m
a blue planet revolving
gin and tonic bliss

it is five p m
somewhere on this blue planet
gin and tonic is born

I wish I had AIDS
So I could kill somebody
Just by fucking them

Haiku is like gold:
it is totally worthless
except for the shine.

When playing in other people's poop
you've made a better choice
than writing haiku.

When playing in other people's poop
it is important to forget
that they might have strange diseases.

The bible was wrong
Mary wasn't a virgin
She was fucked plenty

Chief Diarrhea
His bravery remembered
He walked the Brown Trail

Jesus must be happy to be slandered
by a petulant scumbag who has
the charisma of a rodent gloating
about the poison it's eating
I've met rats with better personalities
which says a lot because rats eat their own shit and you might too but at least rats don't brag about it

When playing in your own poop
It is important to remember
You are the only one covered in poop

Somersault Handstand
Jumping Jack Jumping Jack split
Wank. Ejaculate

Tsunami of filth
syllabic, dull, moronic:
lyric mind of Darth

Inconsolable
Sehnsucht identified now
It's Cedric; Mark him

Jesus is hairless
He keeps a flavor savor
On his chin sometimes

Jesus has a beard
To cover the cum splotches
Gotten through the years

I'm in the next stall
I'm shitting like a racehorse
I'm scratched from the race

It is what it is
Radioactivity
Leaking from my ass

Bad. It's BAD BAD BAD.
That is what this Haiku is.
All because of you.

Watch me lift this car
Dead lifting an Elephant
Proof of my manhood

Hi.

I have a very short questionnaire I'd like to present and thank you in advance for answering.

Do you prefer Listerine, Scope, or Colgate mouthwash?

And what is your preferred flavor?

It's for a class project.

Thanks again.

Necrophilia
Among the only reasons
To like dead people

Charlie died for you
Your fake Jesus was God s son?
Charlie was Mans Son

I said EAT YOUR MUSH
I don t wanna eat my mush
I SAID EAT YOUR MUSH!

I said EAT YOUR MUSH
I don

Yes
Charlie Manson is dead
And you will be too, soon enough

Best part of the night
When Jesus made the table
Levitate (No Hands)

Is there a difference
Between the Lord Jesus Christ
And Charlie Manson?

In all fairness Catholic doctrine states
Jesus was adopted and is God
And is therefore his own father
Seem to have serious daddy issues
Completely ignoring John 3;1-8
But religion is not God
At least Catholics believe something
And don't just post poop/sex haikus

Honor the Father and the Mother
And the one speaking evil
Of father or mother
In death must end

What an idiot.
The extent ofyour revolt:
bad-mouth Catholic mass!

Extra syllable
Kinda like the holy ghost
It's invisible

That's what they all ate
Over at The Last Supper
Undercooked kielbasa

Went to church today
Christ stuck his dick in my mouth
Strange tasting wafer

Left halfway through mass
In the name of the Father
Son and RUNNY SHIT!

Went to church today
High AF at communion
Ate all the wafers

What will the day bring?
Festering ingrown ass hairs?
A suitcase filled with cash?

I found some haiku
and Japanese poetry.
I won and you lost!

That bald alien
Is he 17 feet tall
With a huge boner?

Ever wonder why
They call it fecal matter?
Nothing else matters

Tom Vagina Soup
I followed the recipe
Not enough poon tang

caught in the middle with the next door poet with the horrid shit breath and the bald alien who hasn't gotten anything but ass from his boy toy on a leash

Isn't that special?
You must be friends of SATAN!
said the Church Lady.

deranged secretly from years of torture not knowing her daughter was fucking her making her moan her son came in and fucked her too

When she was old enough she defended her mother and she stabbed him yet mother was dumb and full of cum. Only to find out Mother wasn't mother in the first place.

Love the Lily who hid away years ago
He almost tore out her tiny little womb

Loved him so much and thought it was her who hurt the girl behind the scenes
but it was the boy who grew from out of her very womb years ago that little bastard fucking thing