No one here is lost
See, you've come to the right place
And I'm glad you're here

I can't say enough
About how lost you all are.
So stay fucking lost.

I dare you to come
To this pathetic website.
STEP UP you pussy.

Fuck you. Fuck your soul.
And your mind. And your spirit.
I hope you read this.

That's right, Bad Haiku.
Lots of foul thoughts from lost souls.
No one dragged you here.

DARTH. The guilty one.
Made me read about shit, shit,
Shit, shit and more shit.

Yes, you are guilty
of loading the internet
with foul stinking shit.

My wife has left me.
My inadequate haiku
drove her to Cuntfart.

Divorce court is next.
Cuntfart gets full custody
of all our children.

Please teach them haiku.
And sometimes take them fishing.
And please don't rape them.

Hail, the Poo Flingers
Misunderstood throughout Time
Firm smelly handshake

Crime: Constipation
Sentenced to life in prison
Free Free set me free

at a certain age
the battle of the bulge is
literal gut wrench...

Hey that kinda smarts
No it's burning the skin off
Cauterize the hole

He doesn't like poo
Read about it at med school
That shit is too real

In my fantasy
Enema for the doctor
Fill it with acid

To tell you the truth
You start by not saying that
Will they ever learn?

Lord, how I would hate
to be born Figpucker's wife.
Deep levels of Hell.

They chased the Beatles
They chase my darning needle
It's Peenmania!

See my Royal Peen
By appointment to the Queen
Admire my gold knob

I peed in a sink
It's not as strange as you think
In London, England

What the hell is this?!
Tampon in the urinal!
Getting out of hand.

We couldn

Remember Taiwan
Cold beer, warm girls, China seas
Shu lin kou station

Bought some green jade
And some yards of bright red silk
Carter you bastard!

How long has it been?
Since the last time I told you
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt

Aluminum foil
Useful to wrap leftovers
Not as toilet paper

Ghost. Patrick Swayzee.
Can a ghost ejaculate?
Does the Bible say?

Come together now
All are beings who make wind
Breathe it in. Rejoice!

So are you white or
Nordic/Scandinavian
and why should we breathe?

It's Earth, Wind and Fire.
That's what I am composed of.
Go figure me out.

So are you black or
African American
and why do you care?

Miss America
You got your legs wide open
American Pie

Sick of the routine:
sneak into America;
so -- no loyalty.

Some immigrants good;
but some never learn English.
Only want Dollar.

She won't use her hands
Greedy chopsticks grab penis
Banned from the restaurant

Stamp Collecting (Nerd)
Tonga Banana Stamp (Nerd)
Nerd Nerd Nerd Nerd Nerd

Miss you look so hot
In that sexy qi pao dress!
Don't call your lawyer.

Just a compliment
From a beat up old bastard
Who likes sexy girls.

War between sexes
Seems damn silly-to me
We are all human.

No more fun joking
Harmless flirting riske' fun
Its a sad damn thing..

Closet. Way in back.
MC Hammer's crazy pants
You can not touch them

Stale fortune cookie
Tasted it. Hard to swallow.
The texture is off

Liberal women
talk talk talk talk talk talk talk...
and then keep talking.

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With that being said
With that being said fart fart
With that being said

Let the world end tonight
Will someone please pull the plug
We

Readymade haiku
Just add water and voila
Bad Haiku Growbeast

For Valentine

Long winter evenings
Inches and centimeters
Measuring my Dong

You ll be a millionaire

You

You

You

Dirty underwear
Will be the new currency
You

He counts sheep
He owns a sleep number bed
A friend to count on