Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 126 Days and 76958 Haiku later...

My wife has left me.
My inadequate haiku
drove her to Cuntfart.

Divorce court is next.
Cuntfart gets full custody
of all our children.

Please teach them haiku.
And sometimes take them fishing.
And please don't rape them.
Haiku # 62039, February 8, 2019 7:23 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Hail, the Poo Flingers
Misunderstood throughout Time
Firm smelly handshake
Haiku # 62038, February 8, 2019 7:18 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Emergency Room
Crime: Constipation
Sentenced to life in prison
Free Free set me free
Haiku # 62037, February 8, 2019 7:13 pm ET
by Last line read in sing song voice of Sting
at a certain age
the battle of the bulge is
literal gut wrench...
Haiku # 62036, February 8, 2019 7:13 pm ET
by vhs
Hey that kinda smarts
No it's burning the skin off
Cauterize the hole
Haiku # 62035, February 8, 2019 7:09 pm ET
by Torturer of Incompetent ERDoctor of Fantasy
He doesn't like poo
Read about it at med school
That shit is too real
Haiku # 62034, February 8, 2019 6:57 pm ET
by Observer of Idiots of This Emergency Room
In my fantasy
Enema for the doctor
Fill it with acid
Haiku # 62033, February 8, 2019 6:27 pm ET
by Cat Raver of Rubber Room
To tell you the truth
You start by not saying that
Will they ever learn?
Haiku # 62032, February 8, 2019 3:02 pm ET
by Liar of Liarsville
Lord, how I would hate
to be born Figpucker's wife.
Deep levels of Hell.
Haiku # 62031, February 8, 2019 2:24 pm ET
by Does she like Haiku?
They chased the Beatles
They chase my darning needle
It's Peenmania!
Haiku # 62030, February 8, 2019 1:06 pm ET
by Help! of Cavern Club (My wife's Cunt)
See my Royal Peen
By appointment to the Queen
Admire my gold knob
Haiku # 62029, February 8, 2019 1:04 pm ET
by Gold Nob Bob of Look for the mob
I peed in a sink
It's not as strange as you think
In London, England
Haiku # 62028, February 8, 2019 1:02 pm ET
by Downright Upright of Drinking a shandy outside the pub
What the hell is this?!
Tampon in the urinal!
Getting out of hand.
Haiku # 62027, February 8, 2019 9:59 am ET
by Transgender Substantiation Sanitation of I am toxic shocked!
We couldn
Haiku # 62026, February 8, 2019 6:48 am ET
by On the run(s)
Remember Taiwan
Cold beer, warm girls, China seas
Shu lin kou station

Bought some green jade
And some yards of bright red silk
Carter you bastard!
Haiku # 62025, February 8, 2019 6:02 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
How long has it been?
Since the last time I told you
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Haiku # 62024, February 7, 2019 11:32 pm ET
by Cuntfish of cunt
Aluminum foil
Useful to wrap leftovers
Not as toilet paper
Haiku # 62023, February 7, 2019 9:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Ghost. Patrick Swayzee.
Can a ghost ejaculate?
Does the Bible say?
Haiku # 62022, February 7, 2019 7:51 pm ET
by Smote Avoider of No Smoting Zone
Come together now
All are beings who make wind
Breathe it in. Rejoice!
Haiku # 62021, February 7, 2019 7:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
So are you white or
Nordic/Scandinavian
and why should we breathe?
Haiku # 62020, February 7, 2019 7:21 pm ET
by Reified Isms of Ontology
It's Earth, Wind and Fire.
That's what I am composed of.
Go figure me out.
Haiku # 62019, February 7, 2019 7:19 pm ET
by Yo Funked-Up Mama of 1976
So are you black or
African American
and why do you care?
Haiku # 62018, February 7, 2019 7:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Miss America
You got your legs wide open
American Pie
Haiku # 62017, February 7, 2019 5:30 pm ET
by Jack Hornier of Not little
Sick of the routine:
sneak into America;
so -- no loyalty.
Haiku # 62016, February 7, 2019 5:23 pm ET
by Sustainability of Borders
Some immigrants good;
but some never learn English.
Only want Dollar.
Haiku # 62015, February 7, 2019 5:16 pm ET
by Ass of Imilation
She won't use her hands
Greedy chopsticks grab penis
Banned from the restaurant
Haiku # 62014, February 7, 2019 4:00 pm ET
by Dim Sum of Chinatown
Stamp Collecting (Nerd)
Tonga Banana Stamp (Nerd)
Nerd Nerd Nerd Nerd Nerd
Haiku # 62013, February 7, 2019 3:56 pm ET
by Nerd of Post Office
Miss you look so hot
In that sexy qi pao dress!
Don't call your lawyer.

Just a compliment
From a beat up old bastard
Who likes sexy girls.

War between sexes
Seems damn silly-to me
We are all human.

No more fun joking
Harmless flirting riske' fun
Its a sad damn thing..
Haiku # 62012, February 7, 2019 3:55 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Closet. Way in back.
MC Hammer's crazy pants
You can not touch them
Haiku # 62011, February 7, 2019 3:49 pm ET
by Me of Wayback
Stale fortune cookie
Tasted it. Hard to swallow.
The texture is off
Haiku # 62010, February 7, 2019 12:39 pm ET
by Hungry of 20 minutes later
Liberal women
talk talk talk talk talk talk talk...
and then keep talking.
Haiku # 62009, February 7, 2019 9:52 am ET
by But Ann C. talks better
This page left intentionally blank.
Haiku # 62008, February 7, 2019 7:14 am ET
by But now it's not blank. of Oh shit!
With that being said
With that being said fart fart
With that being said
Haiku # 62007, February 7, 2019 5:18 am ET
by new law passed today of Must say before farting
Let the world end tonight
Will someone please pull the plug
We
Haiku # 62006, February 7, 2019 1:43 am ET
by Done of Here
Readymade haiku
Just add water and voila
Bad Haiku Growbeast
Haiku # 62005, February 7, 2019 1:38 am ET
by Junk of Made in China
For Valentine
Haiku # 62004, February 6, 2019 9:54 pm ET
by Flo of Mel
Long winter evenings
Inches and centimeters
Measuring my Dong
Haiku # 62003, February 6, 2019 9:50 pm ET
by Big Mack of Whopper
You ll be a millionaire
Haiku # 62002, February 6, 2019 9:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You
Haiku # 62001, February 6, 2019 9:22 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You
Haiku # 62000, February 6, 2019 7:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You
Haiku # 61999, February 6, 2019 6:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Dirty underwear
Will be the new currency
You
Haiku # 61998, February 6, 2019 6:55 pm ET
by Financial Advisor of Loot of the Fruit of the Loom
He counts sheep
He owns a sleep number bed
A friend to count on
Haiku # 61997, February 6, 2019 4:45 pm ET
by Flintstone Kid of Ten million strong and growing
Daydreaming. Digits.
The square root of flatulence
A beautiful mind
Haiku # 61996, February 6, 2019 4:42 pm ET
by Professor Beanfart of University of Pfffft
He loved number two
Math problems were no problem
You can count on Darth!
Haiku # 61995, February 6, 2019 2:12 pm ET
by Go Figure of In the gall for snapping my gum
Look, up in the sky:
it's Super Darth Figpucker.
(Back to shit and farts)
Haiku # 61994, February 6, 2019 9:55 am ET
by Predictable Poetics of Peristalsis
How many cunts would
a Cuntfart fart if a cunt-
fart could fart cunts? Five.
Haiku # 61993, February 6, 2019 4:37 am ET
by Cuntfart's cunt farts cunts
Peeking through keyholes
Listening in on phone calls
Perusing your mail
Haiku # 61992, February 6, 2019 3:09 am ET
by Nosy of Your business
Don't mix up these two
Keep the piles separated
Shit and chocolate
Haiku # 61991, February 6, 2019 3:07 am ET
by Organizational wizard
Bodily function
Push out a poem each day
Regularity
Haiku # 61990, February 6, 2019 3:03 am ET
by Sitter of Shitter
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >