Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 126 Days and 76958 Haiku later...

He loved number two
Math problems were no problem
You can count on Darth!
Haiku # 61995, February 6, 2019 2:12 pm ET
by Go Figure of In the gall for snapping my gum
Look, up in the sky:
it's Super Darth Figpucker.
(Back to shit and farts)
Haiku # 61994, February 6, 2019 9:55 am ET
by Predictable Poetics of Peristalsis
How many cunts would
a Cuntfart fart if a cunt-
fart could fart cunts? Five.
Haiku # 61993, February 6, 2019 4:37 am ET
by Cuntfart's cunt farts cunts
Peeking through keyholes
Listening in on phone calls
Perusing your mail
Haiku # 61992, February 6, 2019 3:09 am ET
by Nosy of Your business
Don't mix up these two
Keep the piles separated
Shit and chocolate
Haiku # 61991, February 6, 2019 3:07 am ET
by Organizational wizard
Bodily function
Push out a poem each day
Regularity
Haiku # 61990, February 6, 2019 3:03 am ET
by Sitter of Shitter
Toilet paper roll
Your shitty future awaits
You and me both
Haiku # 61989, February 6, 2019 2:36 am ET
by King Tushincommon of Walking like an Egyptian (Dingleberries)
strange man in closet
She found him wearing her clothes
Just hanging around
Haiku # 61988, February 6, 2019 2:34 am ET
by Creep
i dont know what to
say, a wicked talent is
never buried, deep
Haiku # 61987, February 5, 2019 11:20 pm ET
by vhs
The Calligrapher
Ambidextrous and then some
Cephalopod inked
Haiku # 61986, February 5, 2019 9:02 pm ET
by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of Bathysphere
Is there a word for it?
When you're wiping your asshole
And it's clean enough
Haiku # 61985, February 5, 2019 8:59 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of In the moment
Shot from a cannon
Butt is singed, but I'm happy
Hope I never land
Haiku # 61984, February 5, 2019 8:54 pm ET
by Whizz of Just flew over your house
Figpucker has died.
His brain finally bled out.
It's better this way.
Haiku # 61983, February 5, 2019 6:20 pm ET
by Ghost of Darth Figpucker of Limbo
What do we have here?
The coconut-pineapple
Pina Asana.
Haiku # 61982, February 5, 2019 4:07 pm ET
by Ommmmmmmmmmm of put one of those little parasols in it, Ommmmmmmmmmmm
Dude, it
Haiku # 61981, February 5, 2019 12:07 pm ET
by And many other aliases
if you like pina
coladas and yoga then
what do we have here
Haiku # 61980, February 5, 2019 9:21 am ET
by vhs
Those Herb Alpert horns!
You date yourself, Figpucker...
and I love them too.
Haiku # 61979, February 5, 2019 8:26 am ET
by The Old Smokin' Bull of 1967
i know ive been some
one else on here before the
person i am now
Haiku # 61978, February 4, 2019 10:37 pm ET
by vhs of irn bru?
I don't care but the
poetry is quite good to
be honest, who knows
Haiku # 61977, February 4, 2019 8:45 pm ET
by vhs of he's out there somewhere
I think he's hiding
The Figpucker character
What's your take on it?
Haiku # 61976, February 4, 2019 8:11 pm ET
by Someone
that's all right i ate
alligator and boy spam
seems so last season
Haiku # 61975, February 4, 2019 8:04 pm ET
by vhs
I've been waiting too
Robbed of every happiness
Except my fart jokes
Haiku # 61974, February 4, 2019 7:48 pm ET
by Farts
cynical of faith
i believe but I'm burned out
i just have to wait...
Haiku # 61973, February 4, 2019 7:17 pm ET
by vhs of frustrated, but patient
The magical fruit
Backend Bean Blow Out, Boom Boom!
Honey in the Horn
Haiku # 61972, February 4, 2019 6:16 pm ET
by Smoking Herb Alpert of Horn of plenty more where that came from
Nobody home now
Like living in the mountains
ahh peace and quiet..

One more cup of beans
I put some honey in it
But not some whiskey..
Haiku # 61971, February 4, 2019 5:15 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Made in his image
I am God and you are God
God is hella ugly
Haiku # 61970, February 4, 2019 2:34 pm ET
by Religious AF of Off the Grid
It's never enough
Even human sacrifice
Never satisfied
Haiku # 61969, February 4, 2019 2:30 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Everyone bow down
The Great Ego in the Sky
Wants our attention
Haiku # 61968, February 4, 2019 2:28 pm ET
by sassy Smote Avoider
Tonite's the Big Game.
Wow. I am SO excited...
Haiku Superbowl !
Haiku # 61967, February 4, 2019 8:44 am ET
by Offensive Strategies of POETRY
i wonder if the
whiskers belong to a fine
neko lady...rowr?
Haiku # 61966, February 4, 2019 5:01 am ET
by vhs of most intriguing
Haiku Addiction
Sure, I can quit anytime
Okay, one more line
Haiku # 61965, February 4, 2019 4:55 am ET
by Friend of VHS. (Feline variety) of Haiku wavelength
there is no pain, spammed
voice of reason, money sold
30 pieces, pigs
Haiku # 61964, February 4, 2019 4:22 am ET
by vhs of i have the body of a pig...grunt grunt
Flying pigs wee wee.
Feed them blue and red food dye.
Prince's Purple Rain.

There's no more Pink Floyd.
Roger Water's Prince cover.
Rick Wright, RIP.
Haiku # 61963, February 4, 2019 3:33 am ET
by I mean "The "Artist" Formerly Known As Prince."
Dusty gutter dink
Tossed out the car window. Lost
A friend remembered
Haiku # 61962, February 4, 2019 2:19 am ET
by Guttersnipe of Gutter
Human resources
Internal organ harvest
Black market resale
Haiku # 61961, February 4, 2019 2:12 am ET
by Air bnb of Sleep with one eye open...wait where'd my other eye go...
Free filthy futon
Fornication foundation
Flounder fish fragrance
Haiku # 61960, February 4, 2019 2:09 am ET
by Freda
Halftime Tribute
Lay it down for Baphomet
Steroids on STEROIDS
Haiku # 61959, February 3, 2019 8:05 pm ET
by Undercooked Totinos of Small intestine
He's up to the task
Eight tentacles spinning plates
He's beating off, too
Haiku # 61958, February 3, 2019 8:01 pm ET
by Louis c.k. & Starkitten of the PNW of Cephalopod King Restarant Corp.
Starkitten's recent
Epic magnificent verse
Was thusly penned: "He"
Haiku # 61957, February 3, 2019 7:18 pm ET
by QuaLanda of the projects in the Hood
Football be like this:
They gots round thangz on they head.
They all throwin shit
Haiku # 61956, February 3, 2019 7:15 pm ET
by LaQuanda of The Economist (guest columnist)
Chant to the spirits:
"He-ya he-ya hey halftime
Check those cheerleaders"
Haiku # 61955, February 3, 2019 7:07 pm ET
by Spiritual Supper Bowl of DOG
Hey! It's the big game!
Time to drink Ayahuasca
And speak with spirits
Haiku # 61954, February 3, 2019 7:03 pm ET
by NFL shaman of astral projection
Howard Cosell of
Spirit world that was funny
I almost laughed. Urp.
Haiku # 61953, February 3, 2019 7:00 pm ET
by Joe Namath's right buttcheek of Wings and Bud Lite Vomit Spew
He
Haiku # 61952, February 3, 2019 6:34 pm ET
by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of 100% Octopus owned restaurant
Driving down the road
In a motorized commode
Dropping off a load
Haiku # 61951, February 3, 2019 5:51 pm ET
by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of Woodland Park Zoo Komodo Dragon
The goofy uncle
Hail Mary pass to Grandma
Knocked out her dentures
Haiku # 61950, February 3, 2019 2:03 pm ET
by Brent Mussberger of Hades
Speaking of pig skin
Why not just eat the football?
Living room hog pile
Haiku # 61949, February 3, 2019 1:57 pm ET
by Howard Cosell of Spirit World
He had a big dink
Inflatable Pink Floyd pig
Life High off the Hog
Haiku # 61948, February 3, 2019 1:22 pm ET
by Pork Bellies of Up
Some big game today.
That basketball tournament...
no wait -- it's hockey.
Haiku # 61947, February 3, 2019 12:58 pm ET
by Spectatored Sport of Spheroid
pigs will fly, esp. if
you put them in catapults
wee wee all the way...
Haiku # 61946, February 3, 2019 9:36 am ET
by vhs
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