O'dor doo Toilet
Fecal Contamination
Chanel Number 2
Haiku #59901, by Gwynneth Paltrow of Goopwich, CT October 8, 2018 12:26 am ET
If I wore a bra
Or panties for that matter
I'd fling them on stage
Haiku #59900, by Jonesin for Tom Jones of Who now looks like Robert Plant's evil twin October 8, 2018 12:17 am ET
Whether I'm right
Or whether I'm wrong
Whether I find a place in this world
Or never belong
I gotta be me
I've got to be me
What else can I be
But what I am?
Haiku #59899, by Tony Clifton, Jr. of Las Vegas October 7, 2018 11:56 pm ET
Brought up in a barn
And he was hung like a horse.
Meet Bamboo Harvester
Haiku #59898, by Starkitten of Mr. Ed Fan Club October 7, 2018 10:50 pm ET
Bring me a long rod
Stacked with two dozen doughnuts
That's a midnight snack
Haiku #59897, by Anonymous Poet October 7, 2018 10:47 pm ET
Thought you'd like to know
All eyebrows are falling out
Whiskerless kitten
Haiku #59896, by Starkitten October 7, 2018 10:45 pm ET
Pussy farts!
Haiku #59895, by DARTH FIGPUCKER of I just, you know, had to throw that in there. October 7, 2018 10:44 pm ET
John-boy's mole has souls.
Six point oh two two times 10...
Oh, fuck it, you know.
Enough damned souls to
fill hell to the brimstone gas
root mean square speed fiend.
Haiku #59894, by DARTH FIGPUCKER October 7, 2018 10:34 pm ET
Double Cage Fight Time!!
Paul Simon and Daryl Hall
Fight Garfunkel/Oates
Haiku #59893, by Edie Brickell of Had it up to here October 7, 2018 9:56 pm ET
John Boy Walton's mole
Do you think it has a soul?
Could go either way
Haiku #59892, by John Boy Walton's plantars wart of Foot region October 7, 2018 9:53 pm ET
Forgotten Mooncake
Now a doorstop. Hey, come in..
See Hairy Sunrise
Haiku #59891, by Starkitten October 7, 2018 9:27 pm ET
Cleaning my haiku
In front of you..scrub a Doo
Guitar Solo Now!
Haiku #59890, by Yeah, I'm hooked on meth of Method all purpose cleaner October 7, 2018 9:21 pm ET
Knicky knacky Knew
Gave the whole barnyard a screw
Had a standing O
Haiku #59889, by Ovation.. more than just getting the clap.still washing mud and hoofprints of Even tried to fellate the scarecrow October 7, 2018 9:14 pm ET
If you were forced to,
which farm animal would you,
you know, do it with?
Haiku #59888, by DARTH FIGPUCKER October 7, 2018 8:58 pm ET
Oh, that's some good shit.
Fuck the pigs! Fuck 'em I say!
Meaning cops, not swine.
Haiku #59887, by DARTH FIGPUCKER October 7, 2018 8:56 pm ET
Oh, almost forgot.
Need to deliver this meth.
Maybe one more line.
Haiku #59886, by DARTH FIGPUCKER October 7, 2018 8:53 pm ET
Mental note: Return.
Scout around for body parts.
For trophy or snack.
Haiku #59885, by DARTH FIGPUCKER October 7, 2018 8:52 pm ET
Common occurrence.
Drunk asshole on motor bike.
Hell, I'll drink to that.
Haiku #59884, by DARTH FIGPUCKER October 7, 2018 8:50 pm ET
The more dead people,
the more room there is for me.
Multiple car crash.
Haiku #59883, by DARTH FIGPUCKER October 7, 2018 8:49 pm ET
I fucking hate it when you go into a slightly upscale bar/restaurant and the waitresses are hot and snooty and oversexed and have a distant look in their eyes of Ferrari dreams and wetbars and cocaine and cocks and they're so rude and aloof that you just want to see them raped by 20 black Ugandan warlords and then cooked and eaten and their heads shrunken and put on the end of a witchcraft stick and hung on the wall of the bar right next to the hockey sticks signed by some once-famous douchebag and underneath the stag's head trophy display.
Am I right, or what?!
Haiku #59856, by DARTH FIGPUCKER October 6, 2018 7:29 pm ET
Scraggled old hag fish.
Coffeehouse take out cream thief.
Ma'am, you can't do that.
Haiku #59855, by DARTH FIGPUCKER October 6, 2018 7:21 pm ET
She craved yesterday.
The enormous cocks of yor.
Yours, mine, everyone's!
Haiku #59854, by DARTH FIGPUCKER October 6, 2018 7:18 pm ET
Electric fields.
I just cannot fucking get them.
They aren't good for much.
Haiku #59853, by DARTH FIGPUCKER October 6, 2018 5:22 pm ET