BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
21 Years
315 Days
and
59624 Haikus
later...
mayday, mayday, i
feel like the song hurt cuz all
i know in the end

go away
Haiku #58527, by vhs
May 3, 2018 12:30 am ET

ive books on my bed
im sleeping on a bible
can you explain that?
Haiku #58526, by vhs
May 3, 2018 12:01 am ET

The orange gorilla
thumped its chest and shat hugely.
'Twas an awesome shat.
Haiku #58525, by df
May 2, 2018 7:19 pm ET

is it the final
resting place of the maui
like easter island?
Haiku #58524, by vhs
May 2, 2018 2:24 pm ET

will it work, am i
seeing into the past like
the old pyramids
Haiku #58523, by vhs
May 1, 2018 11:14 pm ET

i hope to see the
df and the dvd again
at some point on here
Haiku #58522, by vhs
May 1, 2018 9:47 pm ET

starcrash, brought to us
by roger corman, is a
bad star wars knockoff

aka fun movie
Haiku #58521, by vhs
May 1, 2018 9:25 pm ET

beltaine the folks
who worship The Goddess say
I test the maypole
Haiku #58520, by vhs
May 1, 2018 9:18 pm ET

each one of these here
haiku is a test to see
how well this thing works
Haiku #58519, by vhs
May 1, 2018 9:09 pm ET

people try to keep
on with their habits till they
can't do anymore
Haiku #58518, by vhs
May 1, 2018 9:07 pm ET

it seems you can post
but you have to fight with the
dead coding google
Haiku #58517, by vhs
May 1, 2018 9:04 pm ET

i have no idea
why people run the woodstove
during the springtime
Haiku #58516, by vhs
May 1, 2018 9:04 pm ET

skip, skip, skip, skip i
will not buy this record eet
is skrrratched.......scratched....
scratched...scratched
Haiku #58515, by vhs
May 1, 2018 9:01 pm ET

i expect too much
of others and lose sight of
my own life and self
Haiku #58514, by vhs
May 1, 2018 9:00 pm ET

i expect too much
of others and lose sight of
my own life and self
Haiku #58513, by vhs
May 1, 2018 9:00 pm ET

sometimes who knows why
sometimes the only thing to
do is stop and breathe
Haiku #58512, by vhs
May 1, 2018 8:46 pm ET

what is wrong, why is
it wrong, who benefits, is it
entropy or evil?

what can be done...
Haiku #58511, by vhs
April 30, 2018 11:16 am ET

unfortunately, that my friend
is what happens to snap
decaying social systems vack in shape

too many people left to their own
devices well, empty mall spaces
Haiku #58510, by vhs
April 30, 2018 11:00 am ET

A kick start such as?
A gigantic tsunami?
A nuclear war?

Seriously though, I really feel the only way the human race is going to advance is if a horrible disaster shakes and wakes and even then I have strong doubts. We like the easy path all too much. Look at me now. I could be cleaning litter off the beach at this very moment, but I'm being a math whore on my computer.

Given the balanced reaction if x moles of A react with y moles of B, which is the limiting reactant and what are the theoretical yields of C and D in units of grams, and the percent yield of C given that z grams of it were produced and Big Bird takes it up the wazzoo from Snuffy all night long while high on crack?

Yep, I'm so awesome. Look at me go. Watch me whip, watch me nay nay.... whatever the fuck that even means.
Haiku #58509, by df
April 29, 2018 11:06 pm ET

things could improve but
it needs a good kickstart to
rile life up again
Haiku #58508, by vhs of i repeat, youre right
April 29, 2018 5:48 pm ET

i HATE HaaTE facebook, fakebook
mark suckerburgs piggy bank..
give me geocities
Haiku #58507, by vhs
April 29, 2018 9:02 am ET

no, i agree, but
despite the loss of bookstores,
record stores, video stores,
we still have discord servers
and The Hitler Parodies
Damn Fourth Turnings...i miss
Bjork
Haiku #58506, by vhs of go to youtube for The Hitler Parodies
April 29, 2018 9:01 am ET

Things keep getting worse.
Has anyone noticed this?
Or is it just me?
Haiku #58505, by df
April 29, 2018 5:08 am ET

Christ... Yes, Clerks is from the 90's.
There were video rental stores in the 90's.
People didn't vegetate to Farcebook and PooTube All day.
Bill Clinton was president.
And my rectum wasn't prolapsed.
The good old days.
Or something.
Haiku #58504, by df
April 29, 2018 5:06 am ET

clerks was a movie
found their soundtrack, seems dated
video rentals???
Haiku #58503, by vhs
April 29, 2018 1:27 am ET

The wife is asleep.
Now it's time to download porn.
I'll spunk in her shoe.
Haiku #58502, by Darth Figpucker
April 28, 2018 10:48 am ET

I have to give up.
What do you call such people?
And now the drum roll.....
Haiku #58501, by df
April 28, 2018 10:46 am ET

what do you call a
person concieved at a drive
in movie theatre
Haiku #58500, by vhs
April 28, 2018 12:30 am ET

On a serious
note, I recall that John Wayne
Bobbit had a kid...

conceived in one of
his reattached penis flicks.
Now that's one cool kid!

I am so jealous.
Imagine being a porn
baby from Bobbit.
Haiku #58499, by df
April 26, 2018 8:52 pm ET

Is gen-XXX
anyone conceived in a
70's porn flick?
Haiku #58498, by df
April 26, 2018 8:45 pm ET

To disturbitate
is to masturbate in a
disturbing manner.
Haiku #58497, by df
April 26, 2018 8:43 pm ET

The bad thing about
being a whore is the lack
of any real sleep.

I see why white trash
losers enjoy meth so much.
But I have coffee.

Considering the
way I brew my coffee, it
is far worse than meth.
Haiku #58496, by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate Math Whore Who Sometimes Writes Offensive Poetry and/or Stories and/or Novels.
April 26, 2018 8:35 pm ET

If I had a dime
for each time vhs used
the phrase "gen-x", well...
Haiku #58495, by df
April 26, 2018 12:38 pm ET

the whole baby boom
falls under prophet gen as
neil howe said.. And mine

gen x would just like
to walk away, look up the
poem footprints which

could be found in much
christian bookstorage, and read
the damn thing for me
Haiku #58494, by vhs
April 25, 2018 11:52 am ET

i have no idea
you know sugar is bad so
think on those ideas
Haiku #58493, by vhs
April 25, 2018 9:58 am ET

Do you know what's the
LD-50 in humans
for Coca-Cola?

Asking for a friend.
But we know that is a lie.
I don't have any.
Haiku #58492, by df
April 25, 2018 8:09 am ET

Electricity
induced erotic pleasure
ballistic semen.
Haiku #58491, by df
April 24, 2018 11:08 pm ET

life has to go on
even when the shock of death
stalks the live wires
Haiku #58490, by vhs
April 24, 2018 10:41 pm ET

keeping you all in my
thoughts right now
Haiku #58489, by vhs
April 23, 2018 10:08 pm ET

Pachyderm sperm worm
in the permafrost got lost.
Recreate mammoths.

I think I'll have the
large McMastodon burger
with heirloom French fries.

I know what you'll say.
Sadly, dino DNA
no longer exists.
Haiku #58488, by df
April 23, 2018 8:18 pm ET

Snuffalupagus.
Homosexuality.
Inappropriate.
Haiku #58487, by df
April 23, 2018 8:12 pm ET

charles bukowski...hmm
1997 or so
the big lebowski

paralells between the two?
Haiku #58486, by vhs
April 22, 2018 11:45 pm ET

Walking in circles
Cold, raining, miserable
Dog won't defecate
Haiku #58485, by Jay of Maryland
April 22, 2018 3:54 pm ET

actually wrote a
cthulhu story long time
ago...sandwiches...
Haiku #58484, by vhs
April 22, 2018 8:59 am ET

ive seen cthulhu
i thought it would go good with
cocktail sauce, fried up

the damn thing fled
Haiku #58483, by vhs
April 22, 2018 1:03 am ET

Caught no fish today
Insanity is going
Fishing Tomorrow
Haiku #58482, by Jay of Maryland
April 21, 2018 4:32 pm ET

five minutes and an
hour before work, alexa
whats a haiku?

answer: never ask me that again
you misogynist to female computer
programs...
Haiku #58481, by vhs
April 21, 2018 2:52 pm ET

You don't understand
the enormity of the
situation here.

That is the best phrase
that has ever been uttered
in a porn movie.
Haiku #58480, by df
April 21, 2018 12:17 am ET

I feel bad for the
cephalopods of Japan;
the things they must do.

Then they are eaten.
Horrible, just horrible.
And not even kissed.
Haiku #58479, by
April 20, 2018 6:11 pm ET

He had girls panties,
having been worn and not washed,
stuffed in his brief case.
Haiku #58478, by
April 20, 2018 6:05 pm ET