BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
21 Years
276 Days
and
58798 Haikus
later...
i HATE HaaTE facebook, fakebook
mark suckerburgs piggy bank..
give me geocities
Haiku #58507, by vhs
April 29, 2018 9:02 am ET

no, i agree, but
despite the loss of bookstores,
record stores, video stores,
we still have discord servers
and The Hitler Parodies
Damn Fourth Turnings...i miss
Bjork
Haiku #58506, by vhs of go to youtube for The Hitler Parodies
April 29, 2018 9:01 am ET

Things keep getting worse.
Has anyone noticed this?
Or is it just me?
Haiku #58505, by df
April 29, 2018 5:08 am ET

Christ... Yes, Clerks is from the 90's.
There were video rental stores in the 90's.
People didn't vegetate to Farcebook and PooTube All day.
Bill Clinton was president.
And my rectum wasn't prolapsed.
The good old days.
Or something.
Haiku #58504, by df
April 29, 2018 5:06 am ET

clerks was a movie
found their soundtrack, seems dated
video rentals???
Haiku #58503, by vhs
April 29, 2018 1:27 am ET

The wife is asleep.
Now it's time to download porn.
I'll spunk in her shoe.
Haiku #58502, by Darth Figpucker
April 28, 2018 10:48 am ET

I have to give up.
What do you call such people?
And now the drum roll.....
Haiku #58501, by df
April 28, 2018 10:46 am ET

what do you call a
person concieved at a drive
in movie theatre
Haiku #58500, by vhs
April 28, 2018 12:30 am ET

On a serious
note, I recall that John Wayne
Bobbit had a kid...

conceived in one of
his reattached penis flicks.
Now that's one cool kid!

I am so jealous.
Imagine being a porn
baby from Bobbit.
Haiku #58499, by df
April 26, 2018 8:52 pm ET

Is gen-XXX
anyone conceived in a
70's porn flick?
Haiku #58498, by df
April 26, 2018 8:45 pm ET

To disturbitate
is to masturbate in a
disturbing manner.
Haiku #58497, by df
April 26, 2018 8:43 pm ET

The bad thing about
being a whore is the lack
of any real sleep.

I see why white trash
losers enjoy meth so much.
But I have coffee.

Considering the
way I brew my coffee, it
is far worse than meth.
Haiku #58496, by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate Math Whore Who Sometimes Writes Offensive Poetry and/or Stories and/or Novels.
April 26, 2018 8:35 pm ET

If I had a dime
for each time vhs used
the phrase "gen-x", well...
Haiku #58495, by df
April 26, 2018 12:38 pm ET

the whole baby boom
falls under prophet gen as
neil howe said.. And mine

gen x would just like
to walk away, look up the
poem footprints which

could be found in much
christian bookstorage, and read
the damn thing for me
Haiku #58494, by vhs
April 25, 2018 11:52 am ET

i have no idea
you know sugar is bad so
think on those ideas
Haiku #58493, by vhs
April 25, 2018 9:58 am ET

Do you know what's the
LD-50 in humans
for Coca-Cola?

Asking for a friend.
But we know that is a lie.
I don't have any.
Haiku #58492, by df
April 25, 2018 8:09 am ET

Electricity
induced erotic pleasure
ballistic semen.
Haiku #58491, by df
April 24, 2018 11:08 pm ET

life has to go on
even when the shock of death
stalks the live wires
Haiku #58490, by vhs
April 24, 2018 10:41 pm ET

keeping you all in my
thoughts right now
Haiku #58489, by vhs
April 23, 2018 10:08 pm ET

Pachyderm sperm worm
in the permafrost got lost.
Recreate mammoths.

I think I'll have the
large McMastodon burger
with heirloom French fries.

I know what you'll say.
Sadly, dino DNA
no longer exists.
Haiku #58488, by df
April 23, 2018 8:18 pm ET

Snuffalupagus.
Homosexuality.
Inappropriate.
Haiku #58487, by df
April 23, 2018 8:12 pm ET

charles bukowski...hmm
1997 or so
the big lebowski

paralells between the two?
Haiku #58486, by vhs
April 22, 2018 11:45 pm ET

Walking in circles
Cold, raining, miserable
Dog won't defecate
Haiku #58485, by Jay of Maryland
April 22, 2018 3:54 pm ET

actually wrote a
cthulhu story long time
ago...sandwiches...
Haiku #58484, by vhs
April 22, 2018 8:59 am ET

ive seen cthulhu
i thought it would go good with
cocktail sauce, fried up

the damn thing fled
Haiku #58483, by vhs
April 22, 2018 1:03 am ET

Caught no fish today
Insanity is going
Fishing Tomorrow
Haiku #58482, by Jay of Maryland
April 21, 2018 4:32 pm ET

five minutes and an
hour before work, alexa
whats a haiku?

answer: never ask me that again
you misogynist to female computer
programs...
Haiku #58481, by vhs
April 21, 2018 2:52 pm ET

You don't understand
the enormity of the
situation here.

That is the best phrase
that has ever been uttered
in a porn movie.
Haiku #58480, by df
April 21, 2018 12:17 am ET

I feel bad for the
cephalopods of Japan;
the things they must do.

Then they are eaten.
Horrible, just horrible.
And not even kissed.
Haiku #58479, by
April 20, 2018 6:11 pm ET

He had girls panties,
having been worn and not washed,
stuffed in his brief case.
Haiku #58478, by
April 20, 2018 6:05 pm ET

A Japanese man
read the haiku on this site
and died from disgust.
Haiku #58477, by
April 20, 2018 6:03 pm ET

Dadaism sucks.
Salvador Dali is dead.
Giraffe frog clock pie.
Haiku #58476, by Anonymous Poet
April 20, 2018 6:00 pm ET

Allergic to cats
Own a cat I love dearly
Love means suffering
Haiku #58475, by Jay of Maryland
April 20, 2018 2:30 pm ET

im dealing with so called
real life so i will get back
to you after ... life
Haiku #58474, by vhs of where the hell is marvin when you need him
April 20, 2018 11:44 am ET

But the same guy writes books about
Magic and vaginal exercises so
I'm not sure how seriously I take him
Haiku #58473, by cyborg of nothing wrong with exercising the old vag every once in a while, though
April 20, 2018 6:04 am ET

Learned about it from a guy that grew
Superweed for the government in the
70's, Lunar Base Alpha I think it was Called, they figured it would be good
To know how to do in lunar conditions
All for science of course
Haiku #58472, by cyborg
April 20, 2018 5:59 am ET

Catalyzing the fusion of deuterium
With muons but then surviving the Flood of radiation and stuff
The real tricky part unless the goal
Is to be a walking neutron and gamma Ray emitter which could be a cool party Trick if you really really want everyone At the party to die a horrible death
Haiku #58471, by cyborg of I don't want everyone at the party to die a horrible death
April 20, 2018 5:53 am ET

Does dueteration
of fullerenes have useful
possibilities.

For example is
superconductivity
affected or increased.

Or perhaps it's the
critical temperature
that's affected.

But deuterium
would increase the entropy.
So it is doubtful.

Oh, by the way, sir,
I just made a horrific
thundering flatus.

Buckminster Fuller
probably never did that.
He was no chemist!

Geodesic domes
cannot contain my flatus!
They are too caustic.
Haiku #58470, by df
April 20, 2018 4:48 am ET

There's nothing quite like
getting drunk at a cock fight
in South East Asia.

Win lots of money.
Then buy a cheap prostitute.
Get an STD.

Give it to your wife.
So you'll soon get a divorce.
And lose your children.

And pay child support.
For the next fifteen plus years.
Goddamn that rooster!

This story's moral:
Never put blame on yourself.
Blame then animal.

And when you next eat
at Chick Fil-A, be happy
that chickens suffer.
Haiku #58469, by df
April 20, 2018 4:32 am ET

If you've never seen
penile implants exploding
count yourself lucky.
Haiku #58468, by df
April 20, 2018 4:22 am ET

Gastric upheaval
Explosive diarrhea
Nauseating stench
Haiku #58467, by Jay of Maryland
April 19, 2018 7:29 pm ET

Titles like
"Synthesis of Perdeuterofullerane: C60D36 Evidences of Isotope Effect in the Stability of C60 D36"
Are basically porn to me
Turns me on
Haiku #58466, by cyborg
April 19, 2018 7:14 pm ET

I wonder what Floppyboots Boy
Is up to these days and if he is finally
The sidekick of Lobster Man?
Haiku #58465, by dvd
April 19, 2018 2:11 pm ET

Also some people do well with soy
Others do not
Either way hemp protein is superior
Trump certainly has a multitude
Of multifaceted flaws
But at least he seems to be allowing
States to make up their own minds
Regarding the controversial herb
Haiku #58464, by dvd of poor jeffy sessions must be throwing a temper tantrum
April 19, 2018 12:45 pm ET

Everyone's brainwashed
Programmed by someone
The distinction is only
Who is actually reading
The user agreement
And whose brand you're buying
Haiku #58463, by cyborg
April 19, 2018 12:43 pm ET

Woe to the soyboys
With testosterone levels
Of 90 year olds

But however I
Support their decision to
Not compete gene-wise
Haiku #58462, by Grateful Dickhead
April 19, 2018 12:41 pm ET

if cats ruled the world
i think we would be too busy
going aww, to fight
Haiku #58461, by vhs
April 19, 2018 10:36 am ET

so here we have say
mark dice, kind of an asshole
speaking truth he says

to a bunch of tofu brained
oversensitive grown children
who hate to hear

no! remind you
of anyone on a bad day
on this server?
Haiku #58460, by vhs
April 19, 2018 10:29 am ET

the tribal nature
of trump supporters vs say
coastal liberals

has driven such groups
not to interact so there
is the two...or more

bubbles bursted and
uncompromising, well you
know, some folks forgot

how to listen kind
of like me...oh hmm, i do
wonder about that...
Haiku #58459, by vhs
April 19, 2018 10:27 am ET

but as a wise man
sang once, just eat it, just
eat it, eat it woo
Haiku #58458, by vhs
April 18, 2018 11:50 pm ET