BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
21 Years
71 Days
and
57963 Haikus
later...
All your tweets are belong to us
My nuclear bombs are yuge
With much more girth and length
Than any in puny North Korea
Don't make me dump a big load
On your faces
Nuclear payload, that is
Haiku #57851, by Donald J Trump of America, Fuck Yeah!
January 2, 2018 9:48 pm ET

all your fill in the
blank belong to us, other
engrish snafus next
Haiku #57850, by vhs
January 2, 2018 1:35 pm ET

I remember in high school
During Marine Biology
The kid in front of me managed
To find 2 Girls 1 Cup on his laptop
He was weirdly proud of this fact
And he scarred me for life
I still wonder if he paid for it though
Would make it a Pay-Per-Poo movie
Haiku #57849, by dvd of the horrors of high school
January 2, 2018 12:48 pm ET

When you drink oolong,
and then you have flatulence,
it's been fart oolong.
Haiku #57848, by
January 2, 2018 3:49 am ET

It's kinda weird now
Seeing an 8 where there used
To be a 7

It'll take about
One year to really get used
To it - give or take
Haiku #57847, by Why Was 8 So Afraid Of 7? of 789
January 1, 2018 11:56 pm ET


vi går tilbake
vi går til begynnelsen
hvor ellers er det?
Haiku #57846, by trolljegeren of norge
January 1, 2018 11:50 pm ET

I broke a mirror
Got seven years of bad luck
Plotting my next move
Haiku #57845, by Future Mirror Maker of This Train of Thought Seems Relatively Logical
January 1, 2018 11:44 pm ET

bang a gong get it
on... then instrumentals then
happy new year...cold
Haiku #57844, by vhs of somwhere in what used to be a "living room"
January 1, 2018 12:21 pm ET

You just described it
Politics in general
Dinosaurs in suits
Haiku #57843, by dvd
December 31, 2017 11:01 pm ET

Dinosaur party
That sounds like it could be fun
T-rex dance moves
Haiku #57842, by Adorable Kittens
December 31, 2017 3:16 pm ET

There was once a time
When dinosaurs roamed the earth
Eating and pooping

Thinking their small thoughts
They did not observe New Years
Just another day

They became extinct
We probably will also
But we partied hard
Haiku #57841, by Mandingo Ebola
December 31, 2017 1:18 am ET

one last day before
another year passes on
old ang sine, sign off
Haiku #57840, by vhs
December 31, 2017 12:02 am ET

There's no connection.
I don't mean the Internet.
I mean each other.
Haiku #57839, by Anonymous Poet
December 29, 2017 7:40 am ET

Two minutes it took
To get me to write a book
About a squirrel
Haiku #57838, by C
December 29, 2017 3:52 am ET

Wait, I want to stand
For my most favorite band
I forgot their name
Haiku #57837, by B
December 29, 2017 3:49 am ET

Write about donkeys
Does that make your soul precious?
I will not sit down
Haiku #57836, by A
December 29, 2017 3:47 am ET

the canary islands...
Haiku #57835, by vhs
December 28, 2017 10:27 am ET

Las grullas vuelan
sin dejar en el aire
ninguna huella.
Haiku #57834, by Ana Mar of Tenerife
December 28, 2017 5:28 am ET

When morningstar shines bright in sky
Tell her who she is and who am I
Property claimed vows exchanged
Bread shared in evening
Haiku #57833, by dvd
December 27, 2017 11:21 pm ET

I'm worried about
people i love but they just
don't get sometimes the

fucking family
get togethers need to be
canceled for sane sakes
Haiku #57832, by vhs
December 27, 2017 12:19 pm ET

Friendly squirrel dead
I am so messed in my head
train whistle blowing
Haiku #57831, by Geauphuqueyrselphe
December 27, 2017 7:03 am ET

that's the fucking truth
my rage is fed by bad beer
end times are not near
Haiku #57830, by Anonymous Poet
December 27, 2017 4:24 am ET

more lives more years more
existentialism and
all is vanity
Haiku #57829, by vhs
December 26, 2017 11:42 pm ET

Soon, another year
and so on until we die
adding up to what?
Haiku #57828, by Cosmic Wonderer
December 26, 2017 2:55 am ET

one room at the end
of time no big deals left a
wateland outside, just

the last bit of the
old universe to play with
last pack of miller

high life, vcr
and plan nine from outer space
generator and

older crt
stranglehold by ted nugent
on, play on, drinks awAY
Haiku #57827, by vhs
December 24, 2017 11:39 pm ET

its df dvd
vhs and just a bit
of a scary xmas
Haiku #57826, by vhs
December 24, 2017 7:16 pm ET

the eve before we
give fruitcakes and socks and things
in socks the next day

and the last pter capaldi doctor who!
Haiku #57825, by vhs
December 24, 2017 1:01 pm ET

one two three four five
six seven eight nine ten el-
even twelve thirteen.

Thirteen dirty teenage Asian prostitutes and exotic narcotics to celebrate the holidays with.
Haiku #57824, by Anonymous Poet
December 23, 2017 12:06 am ET

Playing sudoku made me bored so I thought I'd write a haiku, but it was too difficult to count the syllables, so I gave up, drank a beer, took a shit and a nap, in that order, so I wouldn't shit the bed, woke up and didn't care about anything.
So I got fucked up on too much cappuccino, read a book, and masturbated pretending that I was Abraham Lincoln waging war against the Japanese, capturing the women and forcing them to write haiku about how awesome I am.
The book store people didn't appreciate that until I grabbed some random book off the book shelf and told them I was here for my book signing. They gave me a large nice pen and three bikini babes and a hotel room after, just like on WWF or MMA or Nascar or something.
I'll do that more often.
Haiku #57823, by Anonymous Poet
December 23, 2017 12:01 am ET

Mostly theremin
And Japanese people
Chanting "Godzilla"
Haiku #57822, by Bad Haiku (the band) of my imagination
December 22, 2017 7:42 pm ET

The Naughty Haiku
That's a good name for a band
That plays weird music
Haiku #57821, by Adorable Kittens
December 22, 2017 6:22 pm ET

well if there's bad and
i mean bad haiku what of
the naughty haiku?
Haiku #57820, by vhs
December 22, 2017 1:48 pm ET

I went to go pee,
but the door said "gentlemen".
So I went outside.
Haiku #57819, by Anonymous Poet
December 22, 2017 8:15 am ET

All new Hasbro
Action figure manger scene.
Kung fu grip Joseph.
Haiku #57818, by Anonymous Poet
December 22, 2017 8:14 am ET

Silicone boob jobs
look absolutely stupid,
like big silly cones.
Haiku #57817, by Anonymous Poet
December 22, 2017 8:12 am ET

I won't lie but I
Tell truths unbelievable
To my enemies
Haiku #57816, by Adam Ben Adam
December 21, 2017 11:21 pm ET

Evil tobacco
You are a bad thing for me
Hop you go away
Haiku #57815, by Anonymous Poet
December 21, 2017 11:21 pm ET

Yet
Haiku #57814, by Adam Ben Adam
December 21, 2017 6:33 pm ET

That clay pot is smashed
And my family's broken
I'm not a healer
Haiku #57813, by Adam Ben Adam
December 21, 2017 6:33 pm ET

Some sign contracts
With the devil, I work for the other guy
And I'm going to sign on the dotted line
Haiku #57812, by Adam Ben Adam
December 21, 2017 1:09 pm ET

It's the end of time
Has been for quite a while now
Nothing stays the same
Haiku #57811, by dvd
December 21, 2017 1:07 pm ET

saracatic jokes will
be with humanity till
tne end of the world

because of the end of the world
Haiku #57810, by vhs
December 21, 2017 12:07 pm ET

screw you guys..im going
home
Haiku #57809, by cartman
December 21, 2017 10:03 am ET

Freehold Retorno
Is the captcha phrase for this
A perfect first line
Haiku #57808, by Adorable Kittens
December 21, 2017 1:14 am ET

You've got to watch out
If you go to Canada
Scott is such a dick!
Haiku #57807, by Kyle Broflovski of South Park, CO
December 20, 2017 4:44 pm ET

Mr Hankey saves!
Praise him and sing Howdy Ho!
You smell like flowers.
Haiku #57806, by Anonymous Poet
December 19, 2017 4:41 pm ET

no comprende
Haiku #57805, by vhs
December 19, 2017 12:27 pm ET

Mal Hacienda
Yo no deseo taco
Americano
Haiku #57804, by Anonymous Poet
December 19, 2017 1:01 am ET

the cloudless blue sky
yet another year rolls by
and still, here am i
Haiku #57803, by ash
December 18, 2017 8:32 pm ET

hmm mutually assured
destruction through haiku, how
old fashioned i say
Haiku #57802, by vhs
December 18, 2017 8:28 am ET