If a dyslexic
Were able to suck his dick
Leave the house would he?

I was in Florence
Not the Italian city
The Jefferson's maid

If I were a whore
Would I have to keep teaching Or could I just quit?

If I were a whore
Would I have to keep teaching Or could I just quit?

My penis fell off
And My other one's at home
Any suggestions?

God's an atheist
Which may be indicative
Of low self esteem

Weighed my dick Today
Didn't even register
Scale must be broken

your days grow colder
as we sail into spring here
bite my great pumpkin

cabbage night brings fright
to your small nether regions
goblins gob your knob

Halloween brings fear
To your southern hemisphere
Just as it does here...

he's the president
we have a prime minister
no comparison

Your best estimate:
What percentage of haiku...
Written while pooping?

Hey, wait a minute
Is he YOUR president, Ash?
Thought you were Aussie...

the president's pout
like a patulous anus
keeps on spilling shit

i'm a trump woman
coiffed blonde and disposable
shiny but not bright

I myself REIGN here.
I initiate haiku
And then end haiku.

They all know it now.
Bad Haiku: the greatest site
On the internet.

I never forget.
Darth owes me some Roquefort cheese
For such bad haiku.

Yeah yeah whoa baybeh...
C'mon now c'mon now YEAH!
Hey mama ALLRIGHT!

I'm sub-Saharan
And Australopithecine...
But the Gracile kind.

livestreamed firing squad
how very american
is it pay per view?

I pooped good today
I deserve a Nobel Prize
I am so bigly

Smoking by the fire
Under an autumn night sky
Halloween draws nigh

sometimes it's like that
happily predictable
if ya know ya know

I wanna wanna.
You gotta gotta gotta.
We gonna gonna.

I am thankful for
The loudmouth black activists
Who enlighten us.

La haute couture
C'est en fait culture basse ,
Et c'est absurde.

hardly a surprise
glum faces on the catwalk
with ugly clothing

more communist plagues
they missed the middle ages
but they're catching up

rub the magic lamp
some persian carpet bombing
war never changes

Ape spirits in them;
I swear, some act like primates
of lower orders.

it's a paradox
no virgin is an island
but it's lots of them

Tlaxcalhuachapán
Boasts of more lovely virgins
Than Xunchehuaptla

Worship the Virgin
Of Xolatlahuactepec
(if you can find one)

I am always nice
Even when having bad day.
Others, much less so.

juice of the mescal
axolotl burrito
shortly, i'm cactus

Mexica madness...
Making up Aztec cities:
"Huacaxuntitlan"

Lord, help me this day
To not look at Miss Vargas
And her baby-hole...

haiku was twitter
well before twitter was x
only much better

TikToks are too long.
YouTube shorts are much too long.
Bad haiku: just right.

Silly baseball caps
Infantile headgear worldwide
They look like children

Vlad Savchuk: an elf
Who thinks he knows everything...
He needs a green hat.

You've transcended Darth.
He's a Buddhist in a tent,
Present yet stinking.

transcending real time
like a buddhist with intent
present yet thinking

human resources
economic soylent green
to feed the machine

neurotic cling wrap
so reluctant to unwind
you are on a roll

Twas not a mistake
A goat my bride i will make
I drink your milkshake

Tsunami rolls in
And after that it recedes
And we count the dead

"Human Resources":
The irony in that term...
Data-driven dweebs.

Got caught fucking goats?
You can join the FBI
We all make mistakes