Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 19 Days and 74079 Haikus later...

Figgy Figsgiving
Fork over the puckered figs
Please, more gutter pigs
Haiku # 73884, November 25, 2021 2:18 pm ET
by Figteenth of Figuary
This is a test of
the haiku posting system.
This is just a test.
Haiku # 73883, November 25, 2021 2:05 pm ET
by Adam
It's way past time, friend.
Hang them with their intestines.
Start with Zuckerberg.

Then China's Pooh Bear,
Biden, Obama, and Trump.
All commies and Cher.
Haiku # 73882, November 24, 2021 3:45 am ET
by Starkitten for Empress! of That would impress.
It is almost time
To rise and judge our leaders
For all their warcrimes.
Haiku # 73881, November 24, 2021 1:40 am ET
by Smiley Dance of Don't Worry Be Happy
All non-haiku verse:
You shall regret your actions.
Admit to your crimes.
Haiku # 73879, November 23, 2021 9:31 pm ET
by People's Court of Syllabic Restoration
Everything has to stand for something and mean something. Abbreviated apocryphal acronyms acrobatically arbitrate arbitrary asinine augmented alphabetization.
FAITA
Fuck Acronyms In the Ass.
Haiku # 73876, November 23, 2021 6:42 pm ET
by It's all bullshit. Every bit of it. It's all meaningless.
FIVE stand for Gospels.
SEVEN stands for Pleiades.
FIVE stands for flavors.
Haiku # 73874, November 23, 2021 1:15 pm ET
by Divine Alchemy of Lower Mathematics in SpEd
Old Japanese man:
You need botox injection,
Yes, you. In corner.
Haiku # 73873, November 23, 2021 1:12 pm ET
by Honorable Elder of Shinto Temple of Botox
The Dancing Grannies:
All five of them was rayciss.
I'm Allah's vengeance.
Haiku # 73872, November 23, 2021 1:10 pm ET
by Darrell tha Rap Artist of Not Getting 15 Year-olds Preggers fo awhile
The House of Gucci
Go ga-ga for some hoochee...
Lady G? Who she?
Haiku # 73871, November 23, 2021 12:58 pm ET
by Most Perceptive Cine-art Review of Our Time
Hey Mister Chester:
Your mommy's a molester;
Hope they arrest her.
Haiku # 73870, November 23, 2021 12:50 pm ET
by Mask-wearing Juju Witchdoctor of Gambia, Dancing to Village Drums
Chester you dumb bot.
Go swim in the Gambia.
Don't get your chip wet.
Haiku # 73869, November 23, 2021 12:18 pm ET
by I Heart Banjul of Write Haiku You Dolt
Excuse, that I can not participate now in discussion - it is very occupied. But I will return - I will necessarily write that I think on this question.
Haiku # 73868, November 23, 2021 12:12 pm ET
by Chestervoina of The Gambia
Waukesha Darrell:
His favorite Hendrix song is
"Crosstown Traffic". Yup.
Haiku # 73867, November 23, 2021 11:05 am ET
by Tiretrax All Across Your Back
One thousand dollars.
That's the price to kill someone
and then be set free.
Haiku # 73866, November 23, 2021 10:39 am ET
by Remember that! You might need it.
Write some cutting verse.
Like about cutting yourself
You big old gay blade . . .
Haiku # 73864, November 23, 2021 10:24 am ET
by Zorro the GLBTQ Haiku Activist
These rotten verses
even a dog will not eat
yet you devour.
Haiku # 73863, November 23, 2021 7:57 am ET
by And ask for seconds.
May a large poodle
rape your nostrils while you sleep
in drunken slumber.

What a way to go.
Suffocated by dog spooge.
And single malt scotch.
Haiku # 73862, November 23, 2021 7:50 am ET
by Just joking. Relax. of Take a deep breath. And fart... oh, you strained too hard. Go change your pants.
Don't you get sick of
this five seven five bullshit?
It's so meaningless!
Haiku # 73861, November 23, 2021 7:42 am ET
by Cockthistle.
Had your little fun ?
Went through the whole alphabet?
Please don't start numbers...
Haiku # 73858, November 23, 2021 6:28 am ET
by Twenty-six Ways to Bore me to Death
This five seven five
shit is too arbitrary.
Fuck Basho's ash-ho.
Haiku # 73855, November 22, 2021 6:07 pm ET
by Y'know?
a b c d e
f g h i j k l
m n o p q

r s t u v
w x y and z.
now I'll start again.
Haiku # 73854, November 22, 2021 5:38 pm ET
by next time won't you sing with me?
Zebadiah zaps
zipperhead zoophilia
zigzagging zebras.
Haiku # 73853, November 22, 2021 5:35 pm ET
by Zinedine Zidane
Your yucky yarbles
yielding youthful yearnings
yellow yolk yogurt.
Haiku # 73852, November 22, 2021 5:29 pm ET
by Yolandi
Xena's XXX
xenophobic xenomorph
x-rayed Xavier.
Haiku # 73851, November 22, 2021 5:17 pm ET
by Xie Xingfang
Wascawy wabbits
wound witless white warmongers
wearing women's wigs.
Haiku # 73850, November 22, 2021 5:09 pm ET
by Wil Wheaton
Very vacuous
vaginas vacuumed vacant
via vogue valve vents.
Haiku # 73849, November 22, 2021 5:00 pm ET
by Vivienne Vavoom
Ugly underwear
undulates under udders
utterly undone.
Haiku # 73848, November 22, 2021 4:50 pm ET
by Ultimately Usain
Tiny tits torn to
ten tantalizing tidbits
terrorize Tampa.
Haiku # 73847, November 22, 2021 4:31 pm ET
by Tina Turner
Oh please, just stop. Please!
Go back to bathroom humor . . .
anything else please.
Haiku # 73846, November 22, 2021 4:05 pm ET
by No More Alphabet Games
Syllable slamming
snotty salamanders shy
Slyly sideways, Sam.
Haiku # 73845, November 22, 2021 3:58 pm ET
by Sylvester Stallone
Rancid ribbed rubbers
ruined Ruth's ravioli
retrospectively.
Haiku # 73844, November 22, 2021 3:53 pm ET
by Ryan Reynolds
Quietly question
queer queens queefing quirkily
quipping qubits.
Haiku # 73843, November 22, 2021 1:24 pm ET
by Quintillus
Niggardly nasties
nip nine nifty nipples now
nullify nothing.
Haiku # 73842, November 22, 2021 12:04 pm ET
by Nad Nostril of Noops Nedited
Pissing putrid puke,
prole puppies pound pink pussy
pomegranate pie.
Haiku # 73841, November 22, 2021 12:01 pm ET
by Prince Phillip
Oh, ostrich ova
obscure omnivorous orbs'
odd oscillation.
Haiku # 73840, November 22, 2021 11:55 am ET
by Ozzy Osbourne
Niggardly nasties
nip nine nifty nipples now
nullify nothingness.
Haiku # 73839, November 22, 2021 11:49 am ET
by Nad Nostril
Mister Megabyte
mastubates marsupials
milking mad mothers.
Haiku # 73838, November 22, 2021 11:46 am ET
by Moth Man
Your algorithm
or alliteration-bot
Is a great big bore.
Haiku # 73837, November 22, 2021 9:53 am ET
by ABCDEF yawwwnnn of Truly Bad Haiku
Lactating lamas
lick lollipops lazily
languishing lastly.
Haiku # 73836, November 22, 2021 7:58 am ET
by Lucy Liu
Karen's kangaroo
kicks koalas' kelp kababs'
kilocalories.
Haiku # 73835, November 22, 2021 7:37 am ET
by Kim Kardashian
All toilets are white.
Hey now, that's being racist!
We need black toilets.
Haiku # 73834, November 22, 2021 7:22 am ET
by Crabby-cunt Karen of Multicolored toilet movement for liberated bowel movements
Janet's enema
Was mistaken for haiku
By a white toilet
Haiku # 73833, November 21, 2021 11:25 pm ET
by Person of Color Purple
Jill joyfully jumped
Jack jamming jubilant jade
jettisoning junk.
Haiku # 73832, November 21, 2021 11:21 pm ET
by Janet Jackson
Hey! It is OK
To travel across state lines
To kill communists.
Haiku # 73831, November 21, 2021 11:20 pm ET
by Cross State Lines
That Youtube Karen is HOT !
I think I need to lather...
Or maybe lath her.
Haiku # 73830, November 21, 2021 11:15 pm ET
by Big Eyed Babe of Car Window
Calm your mother down.
That bitch owes me a haiku.
Written on her skin.
Haiku # 73829, November 21, 2021 11:12 pm ET
by Ed Gein of Quiet Farmhouse
Gentle autumn breeze.
Silk caresses my ass-cheeks...
Time to recharge phone.
Haiku # 73828, November 21, 2021 11:10 pm ET
by Sensual Cables of Plugged In (Out)
https://youtu.be/d19jrBpIKDA
Haiku # 73827, November 21, 2021 11:07 pm ET
by Calm down.
Vanishing Dog-man.
Turn my phone around, baby.
Rotten verse will live!
Haiku # 73826, November 21, 2021 11:05 pm ET
by Fermented Dog of Acquired Taste
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