Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Can you beat the RT-PCR covid test by giving yourself a good nasal rinse before hand? I'm thinking I'll use dish soap and bleach. Make sure it's negative.

Negativity.
Nowadays it's a good thing.
Fuck shit Goddamn cunt!

Never mind the test.
See how negative I am?!
Humans are all doomed!
Haiku # 71854, September 5, 2021 4:04 pm ET
by Or something.
This little piggy.
Old McDonald had a farm.
The wheels on the bus.
Haiku # 71853, September 5, 2021 4:00 pm ET
by I just want an Egg McMuffin!
I guess I was wrong.
Itchy balls aren't a symptom.
Not of corona.

It's a lot more fun
to spread itchy ball disease
than it is covid.

Know what I mean, Vern?
Time to bathe my schweaty sac.
Would you care to help?
Haiku # 71852, September 5, 2021 3:07 pm ET
by 1 km^2 scrotal area. of stretch it real good!
Call upon Janis
in times of trouble. Janis
will restore haiku.
Haiku # 71851, September 5, 2021 11:57 am ET
by Haiku Revival of 2021
Having covid's great!
Cough all over grocery stores
and shopping mall stands.

Life gets no better.
It's more fun than abortion.
Legalized murder.
Haiku # 71850, September 5, 2021 8:24 am ET
by They deserve it. Look what they've done.
Spicy Korean food.
I don't care what meat it is.
It's so freaking good!
Haiku # 71849, September 5, 2021 4:58 am ET
by Dogtopus duckat nude noodle soop. of Quack bark meow slither.
I am NOT Janis.
You are certainly not fucked.
You're not even kissed.
Haiku # 71848, September 5, 2021 3:41 am ET
by Nobody loves you.
I did one better.
I shat on the neighbor's lawn.
And wiped with his shirt.
Haiku # 71847, September 4, 2021 11:37 pm ET
by That's what he gets for hanging his laundry to dry.
Every so often
Let out your inner caveman
Go shit in the woods
Haiku # 71846, September 4, 2021 10:52 pm ET
by Deeppack Snowpra of Embracing a birch tree with my toned arse cheeks
Janis! Janis lives!
Janis will deal with the bots!
Wait... who is Janis?
Haiku # 71845, September 4, 2021 10:35 pm ET
by If Darth is Janis We Are Fucked
Thank you much, Janis.
We appreciate your work.
And this fun website.
Haiku # 71844, September 4, 2021 10:20 pm ET
by By "we", yes I do happen to have a turd in my pocket.
I've been smoking crack.
No, that cough isn't covid.
I promise, honey.

You care about AIDS??!!
That is soooo nineteen ninties.
God, how old ARE you??
Haiku # 71843, September 4, 2021 10:16 pm ET
by Shut up and pass the blunt.
Think I'll go out for
some nasty street meat tonight.
No, not fried chicken.
Haiku # 71842, September 4, 2021 10:12 pm ET
by 30 dolla make you holla of Me love you long time.
Craziness endures.
It sticks in your memory.
Normality fades.
Haiku # 71841, September 4, 2021 10:09 pm ET
by Admit it!
*Pics
Haiku # 71840, September 4, 2021 10:07 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I still miss posting
pis of my unwashed backside
via website links.
Haiku # 71839, September 4, 2021 10:07 pm ET
by Thats why VHS stopped bc he misses my naughty pics.
Doesn't take long to
obliterate craziness
No time for this shit
Haiku # 71838, September 4, 2021 8:43 pm ET
by Janis
Other than spaces
copy-pasted, I did not
do anything else.

I've been too busy
spreading covid at shopping
malls and airport lounges.
Haiku # 71837, September 4, 2021 7:21 pm ET
by You're welcome, my beautiful planet! of Shed these pesky humans!
Darth was acting up
He erased the internet
Fucking math genius
Haiku # 71836, September 4, 2021 7:04 pm ET
by Tattler of Tales
What the actual
FUCK has been going on here?
2 week vacation :-(
Haiku # 71835, September 4, 2021 3:30 pm ET
by Janis
Moxie contains herbs,
Mystical roots and spices .
It's a brain tonic.
Haiku # 71834, September 4, 2021 2:22 pm ET
by That's why Mainers are Smarter than Flatlanders
well as russia seems
more interested in spam
on haiku, china???
Haiku # 71833, September 4, 2021 2:11 pm ET
by mox
The Russian bot-boy
Learned to list endless websites.
Go eat kasha, jerk.
Haiku # 71832, September 4, 2021 10:16 am ET
by Cyrillic Imbecilic of Moronic
Little space-bar boy
He learned to hold that key down.
(White space is racist)
Haiku # 71830, September 4, 2021 6:50 am ET
by Space-bar Drinks on the House of White Power
Swallowed by a whale
Will Moby Dick shit us out?
This is all your fault
Haiku # 71829, September 4, 2021 1:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
2703
Haiku # 71826, September 3, 2021 6:40 pm ET
by Syreeta
We will haiku you.
You will get haiku'ed SO hard,
Won't know what hit you.
Haiku # 71824, September 3, 2021 12:26 pm ET
by Extreme Haiku of Mixed Martial Syllables
A bunch of gay clowns.
Gene Semens can lick it up.
Not even music.
Haiku # 71822, September 3, 2021 5:41 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You watch PBS
Philippines Bird Sex Channel
I've seen your tweets, bro
Haiku # 71818, September 3, 2021 1:14 am ET
by Dirty Bird of Seed Spilling Zone
You'll never keep up
with me and my sisters, Darth.
But we think you're hot.
Haiku # 71817, September 3, 2021 1:08 am ET
by Kloaca Kardashian of Mansion
Don't you watch Nova?
Big bird has a cloaca
I'm bending over!
Haiku # 71816, September 3, 2021 1:04 am ET
by Big Bird of Snuffalupagus' house
If Big Bird's anus
could be seen when he bends down,
I'd watch PBS.
Haiku # 71815, September 2, 2021 11:41 pm ET
by How 'bout you?
Many other Popes,
in their Glorious Wisdom,
have wanted my Schlong.
Haiku # 71814, September 2, 2021 11:24 pm ET
by And have it, they did!
If the Pope wants it,
I will send him my Grand Schlong...
But it isn't bald.
Haiku # 71813, September 2, 2021 11:21 pm ET
by I use Nair!
When I fart, you'll hide
Twerking helps ease out the gas.
Watch my sick moves, dawg
Haiku # 71810, September 2, 2021 7:12 pm ET
by Dance Party USA alumni of Huffing Hairspray
Philippines hide out
Vatican wants Darth's bald schlong
For reliquary
Haiku # 71809, September 2, 2021 7:04 pm ET
by Advice of Keep your neck on a swivel
Darth is C.I.A.
He is a secret agent.
Agent of farting.
Haiku # 71805, September 2, 2021 5:57 pm ET
by Spooked of Covert Flatulence
But do not forget
Her Ethiopian Highness
The Queen of Sheba
Haiku # 71804, September 2, 2021 5:15 pm ET
by KUSH of PUNT
Somali women:
Prettiest in Africa
But missing something...
Haiku # 71803, September 2, 2021 4:56 pm ET
by Mogadishrag of Punt
I've never been to 'Nam.
I'm thinking buy war trinkets.
And sell them back home.

Gun shows, flee markets,
maybe ebay and... oh fuck it all, I'm tired of counting. Viet Nam does sound interesting. This so called pandemic won't last forever.
Haiku # 71799, September 2, 2021 11:14 am ET
by War is coming. Stock up now.
Thailand is quite nice.
Ladyboys are annoying.
But the food is tops!

The ancient palace,
artwork, fruit stalls, fried insects,
and of course hookers.
Haiku # 71797, September 2, 2021 11:05 am ET
by I'll get back there very soon.
Oh, I'm not hiding.
And I get around a bit.
Mogadishu's next.
Haiku # 71796, September 2, 2021 11:02 am ET
by I'm going to be a pirate! of No, not a butt pirate. I'll leave that for you.
Darth: a famous man
Hiding out in Philippines.
We all wonder why.
Haiku # 71794, September 2, 2021 10:05 am ET
by Suspicions of South Pasurfic
I snorted some bleach.
If covid was up my nose,
I'm sure it's dead now.
Haiku # 71793, September 2, 2021 9:41 am ET
by The illegitimate children of Donald Trump
Hello, my name's Darth.
And I'm a vaccine addict.
It's been just two days.

Seriously though.
I wonder if anyone
is overdosing.

Freebase Sinovac.
Drinking Johnson & Johnson.
And snorting Pfizer.
Haiku # 71791, September 2, 2021 2:45 am ET
by Stranger things have never happened.
Pay your bills with farts
and leave your wallet at home
Free Fart Assessment
Haiku # 71790, September 2, 2021 1:02 am ET
by How much are your farts worth? of Find out today!
Preoccupation
is a job you have before
you get a real job.

Your job is farting.
Natural gas producer.
You get paid in beans.
Haiku # 71789, September 2, 2021 12:52 am ET
by Jack of Ex-beanstalk climber
Hallucinations
Preoccupation with farts
Haiku-17
Haiku # 71788, September 1, 2021 10:55 pm ET
by Free Dose of Vaccine (vaccine contains cheese)
Oysters Darthafeller
That's just the appetizer
Wait for the main course
Haiku # 71785, September 1, 2021 7:06 pm ET
by Chef of Chez Old Willow
And for my next trick.
(Don't try this at home, ladies!)
Banging a stingray.
Haiku # 71784, September 1, 2021 11:29 am ET
by Irwin found out the hard way. of Krikey!
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