Sixty dollar pledge
Gets you this handy tote bag
Call toll-free number

In less than a day
I move back to Toronto
I will miss my friends

you the man?
you got the big plan?
fuck you, pawn.

diving from
outer space in a
Pressure suit

I will stop thinking
that long hair and leather equals
"stable and employed."

There are no more spoons,
I stir my tea with a fork,
Leaves float in the dark

I should not have licked,
that fissile plutonium,
my toothbrush runs red.

I should not have licked,
those used uranium rods,
now I have no teeth.

Quietly I wait
Max Tundra will play a gig
Soon in the Shelter

I have nearly built
An electroabsorption
Experimental

Meow smells like shit
I wish for his death daily
You fucking scum bag

there's always someone
bound and determined to piss
in your Cheerios

stalking, stalking, boss
he wants to talk to someone
I hide under desk

Betty LeBomb is
The lamest person online
Rape and kill her Please

i did have 5-7-5 syllables in all of my haiku, what did I screw up?

don't smoke that red meat
it is very hard to light
and cow will be pissed

Swooping down from high
Flapping, flurry of feathers
Snatch sidewalk hotdog

Stroker, His name is
Born of fire, anger, and red stuff
Fear his pointy shoes

Rocket launches bright
From off the hood of my car
Fucking SUV

Crescent moon is full
Kidnap your sexy poodle
Do my bidding dog

thegrue will not drink
but will work st. paddy's, while
mama found sitter

karma finds a way
of screwing everything up
when one finds fortune

mama will drink beer
and say toast to thegrue from
saskatoon saloon

She peeped a deep peep
feathers spread tickling my nose
I hate sex with birds

Fasting makes me sad
water is no substitute
when meat is out there.

Frank in the Ops Room
Psycho Rampage will come soon
We All Run Away

nutty but not blonde
oh, now it melts and crunches
m&m is good

strange how so many
can't comprehend the concept
of a syllable

Listen Aztec boy!
five, seven, five syllables
For making Haiku!

quetzalcoatl is
my favorite aztec god
me rip your heart out

continued i throw
your body to the base of
the pyramid, splat

oy! damn cortez
he shot us and gave us all
the clap, the fucker

Just wasting some time,
While at work. But that's OK -
I earn more than you.

the trailer park folk
have lawn knomes that I must take
we will go tonight.

machine spins white noise
wind blows the shade in and out
sun-warmed sleepy bed

Either way you're screwed
The red will give you cancer
green makes you horny

It's you! What you say?
On the way to destruction?
I must make my time.

Misty Morning rain
Between me and my view of
Taco Bell dumpster

Eskimos delight
In shorts and tank tops gallore
At global warming

anger overcomes!
given a saturday task--
sober st paddy's???!!!

my essay on cake
was deliciously profound
but then I edit

pink fuzzy kittens
purr in delight as they milk
unaware of bombs

Slacking on Thursday
is more work than you imagine
I think about sex

your car's turn signal
is just like the hand of God
I never see it

birds fight each other
outside on my balcony
that chirp means "fuck you!"

Reading my haiku
why do I get the strange urge
to say it like Kirk?

Damn this site rocks ass
Look for it on Weird Wild Web,
IGN For Men.

wind in the tunnel
walking to my boring job
vaporize me, please

caffeine, my dear friend
your cold sweat makes me tingle
from my taste buds down

they sealed my window
from cold wind with shiny tape
but it didn't help

A sick black rose blooms.
My father's anger nourished
My own puking wrath.

Cold gusts wrack my bones.
Low temps fine for silicon,
but carbon whimpers.

my officemate's love
convinced him she bought a dog
with cam and photo

not dead that which lies
eternal; with strange aeons
Death itself may die

The middle line goes like
"dah dah dah dah dah dah duh".
Seven sylables.