Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 41 Days and 77433 Haiku later...

and if or but these
days fear rules the waves and eats
the electorate
Haiku # 53909, June 14, 2016 8:50 am ET
by vhs
so it goes he said
but he saw dresden burn and
wondered why he lived...
Haiku # 53907, June 13, 2016 12:16 pm ET
by vhs
Vonnegut is dead
His words are all that remains
"So it goes" they say
Haiku # 53904, June 12, 2016 1:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
A butterfly shat
on the imported taco
of Donald Trump's wife.

She washed it right down
with cheap generic vodka
and belched quite loudly.

Her boyfriend stopped by
and they had sex all night long
while Donald just snored.
Haiku # 53903, June 11, 2016 11:00 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I recall stealing
Playboys from the Get-N-Go
when I was a lad.

Many a fond wank
was to be had in those days.
Now, goat porn dot com.
Haiku # 53901, June 11, 2016 4:39 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker.
They want their ipads.
We wanted our MTV.
What was before that?
Haiku # 53900, June 11, 2016 11:53 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Lays potato chips.
Monster trucks and drag racing.
Weaponized herpes.
Haiku # 53899, June 10, 2016 3:44 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Going for a beer.
I'll write a dirty haiku,
just for the waitress.

I'll keep you posted.
Jut please do not tell my wife.
She would be angry.

She hates me enough.
Lets not give her more reason.
On the other hand...

Who gives a rats ass.
Damned if I do or do not.
That waitress is hot!
Haiku # 53898, June 10, 2016 4:17 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
The dog licked himself.
And he was rather content.
Could you say the same?

Haiku Subtlety
is pointless on this website
so I'll spell it out.

So you can feel good,
If you need an audience,
the dog has you beat.

Go write some haiku
and flush them down the toilet.
That is your homework.
Haiku # 53897, June 10, 2016 4:13 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
The greatest boxer
was not Ali, but Jim Jones.
One punch killed hundreds.
Haiku # 53895, June 9, 2016 11:55 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
i wonder if the
spam ads count as part of the
art of this website
Haiku # 53894, June 9, 2016 11:54 am ET
by vhs
Jane Goodall is mean.
She taught Chimps to use dildos.
And then sign "I came".
Haiku # 53893, June 9, 2016 11:50 am ET
by darth figpucker
I must appreciate the way you have expressed your feelingsthrough your blog!. Click here to play.
vertix.io | dog games | fighting games | mickey mouse games | Subway Surfers
Haiku # 53892, June 7, 2016 10:58 pm ET
by vertix.io of ha noi
have a drink for me
i spent too much money on
a used car repair
Haiku # 53891, June 7, 2016 2:36 pm ET
by vhs
I did my own thing.
Better than her doing it.
My thing is happy.
Haiku # 53890, June 7, 2016 8:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
final syllable
in last abomination
should've read as "stench"
Haiku # 53889, June 6, 2016 8:30 pm ET
by Lush of Steno Pool
filthy signature
calligraphic turd emblem
witnesseth the smell
Haiku # 53888, June 6, 2016 8:25 pm ET
by Lush
coprophilia
brown love dare not speak its name
reduced to signing


Haiku # 53887, June 6, 2016 8:22 pm ET
by Lush
the upstream feces
an ineluctable force
woe is the downstream
Haiku # 53886, June 6, 2016 8:20 pm ET
by Lush
falling overboard
nude with a turtlin' dookie
ahoy down below
Haiku # 53885, June 6, 2016 8:19 pm ET
by Lush
do i go along with
the joke and respond or do
i do my own thing??????
Haiku # 53884, June 6, 2016 11:57 am ET
by vhs
My wife is too fat.
I don't want to fuck her now.
What am I to do?
Haiku # 53883, June 6, 2016 6:03 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
i had a poem
on my mind but now it slips
what i was to say
Haiku # 53882, June 5, 2016 3:36 pm ET
by vhs
Rio De Janeiro
Filthy rotten trash cesspool
Lets go for a swim
Haiku # 53881, June 5, 2016 12:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
pour some sugar on
def leppard waits to hear the
sarcasm fly out
Haiku # 53879, June 3, 2016 12:29 pm ET
by vhs
Coffee enima.
Do you take cream and sugar?
That one lump or two?
Haiku # 53878, June 1, 2016 3:17 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
i drink coffee and
i drink more coffee and then
write stuff about it
Haiku # 53877, June 1, 2016 12:49 pm ET
by vhs of well it said 'bad haiku' this is pretty bad
There is a spider
I opened up my asshole
It crawled right inside
Haiku # 53876, May 31, 2016 11:19 am ET
by filthy-nard
I don't have any eyes
Accidentally ate glass
Now I have no tongue
Haiku # 53875, May 31, 2016 11:18 am ET
by filthy-nard of MY SKIIIIINNNN
I'd lose a finger
to lose the ring that's attached
and free my penis.

That's spontaneous.
I don't know where that came from.
Or maybe I do.

Priorities suck.
Sacrifices FOR children.
Not like Abraham.
Haiku # 53874, May 30, 2016 6:15 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Except for one ring,
I am completely naked
reading about poop.

Pooping in buckets.
So, like, where else would one poop
if not in a bucket?

Since you're getting old,
put it on your bucket list.
Call it a shit list.

I'm glad I'm naked
in an electric fan breeze
blowing on my balls.
Haiku # 53873, May 30, 2016 6:09 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
how the hell can one
take a health clinic serious
if there's "mayo" in

the name of the place
fat on sandwiches reducing
chance at ill health?
Haiku # 53872, May 30, 2016 12:26 pm ET
by vhs
well also there's these new
channels on tv, viceland
people poop in buckets

skating, rebel gen
x crap for millenials
and of course, skating
Haiku # 53871, May 30, 2016 12:17 pm ET
by vhs
well if you give your
own self a blowjob is that
not cannibalism?

well you are eating
yourself...terrible joke you
know really, ah hell
Haiku # 53870, May 30, 2016 12:14 pm ET
by vhs
Eating itself up.
Like a gay contortionist.
Christ, I am tasteless.
Haiku # 53869, May 30, 2016 4:46 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
and is this bboard
eating itself up sadly
early, late and speed
Haiku # 53868, May 29, 2016 11:34 am ET
by vhs
And self-fucking men
are more poetic than, say,
bad haiku dot com.
Haiku # 53867, May 28, 2016 11:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Self-referenced poems
are more gay than a pile
of fat men fucking.
Haiku # 53866, May 28, 2016 11:26 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Humans should all die.
They've not one good quality.
This, for example.
Haiku # 53865, May 28, 2016 11:23 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker.
there were once bboards
people posted about things
now robots post things

who needs viagra
from bangladesh when the world
has turned satired
Haiku # 53862, May 28, 2016 11:34 am ET
by vhs
well this is the world
of the future people who
have no sense of

history making
our computers, tablets and
devices to rule
Haiku # 53860, May 27, 2016 11:35 am ET
by vhs
Why are poets gay?
They think pens are penises.
And so hold them close.
Haiku # 53857, May 23, 2016 10:28 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Masturbating rules!
Spanking it beats sex with you.
He said to his wife.
Haiku # 53856, May 23, 2016 7:05 am ET
by df
I suck hamburgers.
Erotic cow grease dribbles.
With condom French fries.

Ice cream lubricant.
Peanut butter and KY.
Inappropriate.

Balcony pot shot.
Ten story sex food aiming.
Various targets.

Security guard!
Seven hundred points.
He should wear a hat.
Haiku # 53854, May 22, 2016 10:04 pm ET
by DF
His wife just left him.
She is having an affair.
With his fat sister.

He would have been glad,
but now his ex will get half
the inheritance.
Haiku # 53853, May 22, 2016 6:14 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Ants in the tropics.
They get in one's underwear,
biting tender parts.
Haiku # 53849, May 21, 2016 1:54 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
"You are so stupid."
"You are a worthless turd ball."
This ain't about you!

You just don't get it.
You should bungee jump sans rope.
No, I don't mean you.

The one behind you.
That's who I'm talking about.
No, the other one!

God! Fucking wake up.
Now pay attention shit bag.
This ain't about you!
Haiku # 53848, May 21, 2016 1:33 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Mandingleberry.
Ebola Cola toilet.
Bloody hemorrhage.

Refreshing virus
carbonated beverage
that just might kill you.

The death toll is past
Eleven thousand humans.
Will China be next?
Haiku # 53847, May 20, 2016 10:05 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Hating is pure work.
Battling an uphill force.
And work is stupid.

Here there is no hate.
Nor is there one ounce of love.
Only apathy.

But in a good way.
Prepare yourself to let go
all you fear to lose.

If you care too much,
then you are doomed to failure.
Time for me to poop.
Haiku # 53846, May 20, 2016 9:54 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
The soul becomes dyed
with the color of its thoughts
M. Aurelius
Haiku # 53845, May 20, 2016 1:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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