Tender egos flare
lash out like a whipped puppy
tail between the legs

baby-fat goddess
i would love to "get a grip"
as you tell me to

Balls cupped in his hand,
my nipples are like bullets.
Pubes tease my buttocks.

She said, 'Son, you know,
you're an ugly boy, but I
love you anyway.'

She made me feel like
I was a good looking boy
despite my strange genes

And she said, 'You know
you're an ugly boy, but true
beauty lies within.'

Those purple monkeys
They'll soar onward through the stars
Until they reach it

the acid test is
etching burning loving words
with jagged glass heart

motormouth shut it
corporate message man is
speaking words of love

he seemed so daily -
extra-ordinary man
timeless in thinking

Fucking shitload of
bad haiku... clogging the web
No-good poetry

Mister would you please
help my pony, he's over
there behind the tree

Don't touch my donut!
Spicy peppers are good... stuff
This is teh haiku!

Consequential thought
Freezes cognitive process
Conclusion not reached

My eyes are streaming
Likewise my nose, coughing phlegm
Do I have a cold?

Crying for the Moon
at best
We are all manner of Milos

Betty L'Bombes
too bad
Think you are fat

Disruptive
one's grammar bad
Some propaganda

New Serbs
bullterriers of the World
Eat one own kind

Time is standing still
but the calls keep coming in
mindless, numbing, empty
*
Insane co-workers
management without a clue
customers of doom
*
the floor has a stain
restrooms are dirty and brown
lights are dimmed and grey
*
I don't remember
How I reached this point in time
the years just passed by
*
Please take me away
to where dreams are still alive
or I might just die

Bad Haiku just is.
Supremacy of wrongness
to piss people off

Worse is better, so
the argument goes. We've had
this debate before.

Well-known, the name "Haiku"
Some things just stick even when wrong
Like the "Geisha Girls"

Fun while it lasted
Little did we know, this site
Owned by Bloomingdales

the seasons may change
oh, wiki picky picky
but pedants remain

"Haiku," this is not
it's called "Senryu," look it up
Wikipedia

banging in a gang
that's right, I'm in your hood now
do something, or not

a long time ago
a galaxy far away
please don't use the force

Pistachio Nuts?

Quite high in cholesterol!!!

Shove them up your arse?

you go america
until we bombarded
now you some pay

we hold you here
until you death
we bombarded you no
now you little pay, yeah

2tymin' son of a beeyatch
we bombarded you no
now you some pay

This haiku painting
the internet, my kind of
old hat religion

A little sparrow told me
Another Iscariot bastard
Grinding down again

I'm quite fond of hats
I like red fuzzy ones that
I can hold on to

I too have been touched
by His noodly appendage
I'm a believer

surveying hands roam
shy her feline back arcs
a line of beauty

Ode to climate change
Those who deny you exist
Haven't been outside

secret joys unwrapped
jewels shudder from her skin
bliss her sapphire eyes

languid lips parting
roses, blushing, bloom on breasts
i kiss to inhale

sensuality
slowly mouthing silken skin
she gleams in moon shine

Anonymous poem
Please leave me out of it all
It's really creepy

Dear Betty Lebomb,
Flying Spaghetti Monsterism:
old hat religion.

My apologies to Janis. My
last comment... never intended to imitate haiku. Farewell.

Am I not human?
If you prick us do we not bleed?
Pray God, Bassanio
*
Pay attention here
Come to see me pay his debt,
And then I care not!
*
Pray listen to me
You prick us, do we not bleed?
Hasten to my side
*
If you poison us
Will we then not feign to die?
Tickle us we laugh?

am i not human ?
if you look deep in my heart
there's cholesterol

why dis attitude
cos we'd rather latitude
than a platitude

I

Dear Janis I love you
Well not you but what you do
Bad haiku