50-ish. Yes.

One of my earliest memories is sitting backwards on the toilet so as to grab onto the tank and not fall in whilst pooping.

Sometimes I still do that.

Neck pain is back, indicative of brain bleeding starting again.

The jogging has worked! With any luck, I'll be dead soon. I'll let you know if I start to get numb on one side. Oh fun fun fun! It beats continuing on writing about farts and such. Imagine how peaceful it would be here.

Half a century
Based on my calculations
Just how old is Darth?

Do you know that guy
Passed out drunk on my staircase
Turns out it was me

Nude riding a swing
Haven t bathed in a fortnight
Supertuna Moon

Nude riding a swing
Haven

I lament R.I.N.O.s
horning in to gore our Prez,
fig-pucking losers.

N-words be all, like
"call every bruthah N-word;
crackerz steal racist"

An apple orchard
My earliest memory
I shit my pants there

I liked that story
And the cigarette delay too
I love story time

Lament the rhino.
Horns do not make one horny.
Fucking Chinese twats!

That was probably late 70s, btw.
No one said or did anything.
The couple, I have to say, showed great restraint and maturity and just realized an old southern cunt cannot change her ways and whats the point of making a scene. They handled it very well, I thought and I have to say that really earned my respect. If everyone ignored cunts like that, the world would likely have less of them.

I axed a question.
I axed and axed her again.
Then I mopped the floor.

UNGH! Time ta GIT down
Take it to the bridge now, y'all
Play that funky beat ...

Haiku, u feel me,
Haiku get up in your face,
then be, like: "shut up".

Me pone loco
Totalmente loco, meng
Haiku... me entiendes?

Gots ta git dat thang
Gnome sane gnome talkin about?
People be like: "whut"?

But seriously...
Puerto Rican Spanish: un-
intelligible.

Boricua Spanish:
spoken without moving lips.
(Tropical mush-mouth)

Bee-line towards feline
Feeling rather leonine...
How many left? Nine.

Starkitten's Lament
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow meow

That gesture again
You point your middle finger
Signifying what?

Your gift subscription
To Better Gnomes and Hard Ons
Spring is in the air

Laid out on the couch
Cold, psychiatrist's office
Haikucinations

Those little green men
Jumping like crazy, gnome sane?
Yo, it's all good brah

Crumpled foreskin gnome
Itch that can never be scratched
Damn, made in China

Have you ever read
the original Gnomes book?
Gnome chicks have nice tits.

Email from a gnome
Can't wait to stand on your lawn
And blow my whole load

Grandpa did not know
He heard of something like that
Choking the chicken

Geek Love -- Who's read it?
Katherine Dunn's wild side show.
Tough act to follow.

The original meaning of "geek" was someone in a cage with a chicken who would perform various disgusting acts, typically involving biting the head off the chicken. In the more "adult" version of course anything could happen, but those were rare. Ask your grandpa about it.

"Then the chicken-fancier came to play
With his long red beard and his sister's weird,
she drives a lorry."
--from "Mother Goose" (Jethro Tull song)

Cribbing Tom Robbin's.
Even Cowgirls get The Runs.
Stick in your big thumb.

Roadside attractions
Pick up all the hitchhikers
Could be interesting

Great minds think alike
I can see the gears turning
Poetry churning

Darth and write alone
Wait for someone to read it
Release another

Fart and stand alone
Wait for someone to walk by
Release another

Took Glass Blowing class
Without thinking, I swallowed
Hard habit to break

By writing haiku
Does cause hair to grow on brain
Have a nice day, sir

That Darth Figpucker
Gee whiz, he's sure a swell guy;
Soul like a fresh rose!

No can go for that
They have smelly bum holes there
I sent a drone there

Yes, there's an island
off southern India where
no white men have gone.

But you must sneak there
at night because the coast guard
won't let you go there.

I have faith in you.
Learn to swim, garden, and fish.
You will do just fine.

Around the world now
The booger I picked and flicked
Forty years ago

I'm so tired of being a good poet laureate and the other trouble that the fame monster has created for me. There must be a deserted island we could pack up and get away.

Used all the Kleenex
In one go. One big long blow.
From a nose so low

Tootsie roll reflux
Another one of the perks
Try new figpudding

Blowing the wrong nose
The cure for the common
cold
Right under your nose

You can have NyQuil.
I'll take Robitussin-DM.
Dextromethorphan.

Pink bunny rabbits.
Robi-DM and Bailey's.
Knock back ten of those.

Six out of seven
choosy cold med abusers
drink Robi-DM.

NyQuil Elmer Fudd
Fiddlesticks Fiddlesticks I
When I blow my nose

Skip the drinks for once
Try smelling strangers armpits
Intoxicating

Skip the drinks for once
Try smelling strangers

Through His Viewmaster
Sky Guy is always watching
He sure is a Hosehead

Through His Viewmaster
Sky Guy is always watching
He sure is a Hosehead